So You Used to Be Human - Book 3 (Original Version)

Chapter 26: Definitely Not Our Lord and Saviour

#### THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC SEX AND VIOLENCE. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED. WATTPAD MAY PLACE IT UNDER A PRIVACY LOCK ONLY FOR FOLLOWERS, SO CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED#####

"Tell him that Frankie and Stanley are coming in right now," Claude said in my ear. "Don't ask me where I'm going. You really don't want to know."

I glanced over my shoulder and could see Frankie and Stanley making their way towards the entrance of the camp, hands raised. Beyond that was a very strange sight. It looked like all of the camp's inhabitants had come out of their trailers, young and old alike, and most of them were carrying guns. The kid who had tried to sell me weed, trailed behind, possibly looking for a chance to make a sale.

"You guys really don't like vampires, do you?"

"You have no idea," Jesus said.

"Well I got my boys Stanley and Frankie coming in, as a measure of good faith, so if your guys could avoid killing them, that would be great."

"I'll see what I can do." Jesus gestured and there was a great deal of clattering and rustling as rifles were shouldered all around. I took a closer look at Jesus, noting his appearance carefully, the long partially dreadlocked hair with random beads and bits of string, the weathered face that looked either distinctly Mayan or some kind of First Nations. There was a lack of the pale blue eyes that I had expected to find and definitely not fangs to speak of.

"So, you're obviously not a vampire," I said, still looking for some kind of clue. "What the hell are you?"

"Does it matter?"

"Matters to me, so yeah. Everything we were told kinda pointed to the fact that you were a vampire. You know, travelling at night... long lifespan..."

"Travelling at night is just easier when you can see where you're going. Helps to avoid most high-traffic areas. When you travel as much as I do, getting stuck in traffic is undesirable."

"So what are you then?"

"Very, very old." He smiled at me then as Frankie and Stanley finally arrived, looking a little sheepish but keeping their hands in the air.

"I only count three of you. Where's the other one."

"Benjamin caught a major case of the chickenshits, so he decided to sit this one out." Stanley said, and he wasn't too happy about the whole thing, but then again, that was just Stanley. "Can we take our hands down now?"

"Yeah take them down. You look like idiots."

"Better than looking like a strainer," Frankie said. "Look, you mind if we can get this over with? Your guys back there are looking a little too trigger happy for my liking."

Jesus regarded him carefully and then looked back at me.

"I thought you were in charge Jefe. Sounds like your boy here's giving the orders."

"Frankie's a little cranky. He likes to get straight to the point."

"He talks too much," Frankie shrugged when I glared at him. "What? you do!"

Jesus watched us for a long moment then nodded and sighed deeply. He pinched the bridge of his nose, that one annoying dreadlock with the beads swinging into action once again, almost hypnotic in its motion.

"Look, since Harry didn't fill you in on the details and since there's only three of you, it seems to me like Harry's trying to fuck both you and me at the same time, so why don't we just call the whole thing off and go and get shit-faced. How's that sound to you guys?"