So You Used to Be Human - Book 3 (Original Version)

Chapter 30: The Completely True and Not Made Up at All Epic of Jimmy

-2-

Things might have gone a little differently for Jimmy if he'd had some bacon with him. Of course since it was Beatrice he was dealing with and she already knew about bacon all bets were off. With Beatrice, all bets are off; it's just the way things are.

"Tell me where you were going just now Jimmy," she said almost conversationally. Anyone listening wouldn't have heard anything out of the ordinary because there really wasn't. Beatrice had already glammered the fuck out of Jimmy to get him to do exactly as she wanted and she had been considering which random driveway she was going to have him pull into so she could have a bite to take the edge off. If he was lucky, she would actually leave him alive, but the mood she was in at that moment did not leave much chance for survival.

In any case, Jimmy answered truthfully and very openly. He might have done the same if he hadn't been glammered to cooperate with the beatuful creature in the car with him, but he never got the chance to prove it.

"This guy Claude sent me on a mission. It's like I'm some kinda secret agent and stuff, you know? There's this house up on highway seven, big old mansion and this lady lives there, some duchess--"

"Madame Vera," Beatrice said, and her interest had been piqued.

"Yah that's the one. Madame Vera. You know her or something?"

"Oh we're old, old friends. I was actually just coming from there," Beatrice said, all wide-eyed and obviously lying. Jimmy didn't notice. She could have made a jerking off motion to him and he would have thought it was the funniest thing in the world. The side effect of the glammering was that Beatrice could do no wrong in his eyes.

"Really? How about that, huh? Small world."

Beatrice considered him for a long moment as if trying to decide where she was going to bite first. Then, "Aren't you going to tell me about your mission?"

Jimmy pulled out the iPhone from his pocket and handed it to Beatrice.

"Claude wanted me to drop this off to Madame Vera, which I'm going to do as I get you to where you're going. It's really important and I might be saving the lives of everyone in the diner where I work."

"What am I looking for here?"

"It's a video," Jimmy said, reaching for the phone. Beatrice slapped his hand away and tapped at the screen.

"You drive, I'll handle this. Safety first after all."

***

The phone records from the booth in the diner, propped up on the table as a slightly awkward angle to get a bacon munching Hester in frame.

"--and how many is a billion? How many thousands would you say?"

"All due respect, I'm not helping you wipe out the human race."

"How about just the continent? There can't be that many of you here."

"Do you even know what continent you're on?"

"It matters not. There shall be a great cleansing and the rivers will run red with blood as you mortals quake in terror at the might of Hester!"

"Do you know we went to the moon?"

"Impossible. If someone has been to the moon, then why didn't they bring it back?"

"It's bigger than a country. Kinda hard to fit in your pocket... plus it turns out it's very difficult to get to. Do you know anything about astronomy? You know, planets and stuff?"