So You Used to Be Human - Book 3 (Original Version)

Chapter 37: Boom Motherfucker

I'll just say this once so I can get it off my chest: Beatrice came in like a wrecking ball.

You know those videos that are shot in ultra slow motion with explosions going off and shrapnel flying through the air ever so slowly, tumbling end over end and occasionally colliding with other bits of shrapnel while in the middle of all of that chaos is an avenging angel of death, deadlier than any explosion? This was Beatrice as she stormed into the diner, jumping through the blast of the well aimed grenade that took out three vampires, sending limbs flying through the air in an explosion of gore.

Chris Mannigan turned to Paul's upheld iPhone camera and held the Grenade Launcher aloft reverentially. The look on his face could only be describes as "pure rapture" as in that single moment Chris had discovered his one true love and that true love was was called "blowing shit up".

"Did you see that? Did you fucking see that? Oh my fucking GOD that was SO COOL!"

The M203 Grenade Launcher with standalone universal stock in pistol configuration was one of Beatrice's favourite toys and since they highly illegal and rare in the city of Toronto, she had been particularly surprised to see one in Chris Mannigan's hands. It had distracted her so intensely that she had all but forgotten her brand new Trinidadian friend as they had driven up to the diner. She had spotted the two men in the ally and had demanded to be let out of the car immediately. Chris and Paul were still arguing over exactly how to use the weapon when she snuck up on them in the alley.

"What the hell is this thing anyway?" Chris was saying to the camera, realizing how much of a dumbass he probably looked. "When dude said grenades, I expected the kind where you pulled a pin and threw it. I don't see a pin and this... this thing right here scares the shit out of me."

"It's a grenade launcher," Paul had clarified. "I think it's supposed to go on the end of a rifle or something—"

"It is, but it's also a standalone weapon."Beatrice said cooly and calmly. She had dug up a lollipop from her back pocket, courtesy of her new Trinidadian friend, who she most definitely would not be visiting in the oh-so-sunny tropical island of Trinidad, land of Carnival and way-too-much-goddamn-sun. It's funny what people told you about their lives when they saw you as a friend. "It takes forty millimetre shells of various kinds, the kinds to shells designed to make your enemies shit their pants... seconds before you blow them to kingdom come, and if you aim it right, it's also designed to give you the kind of orgasm that can only be reached by making shit go boom in an ultra-super-fucking-fantastic way."

Paul and Chris stared at Beatrice with a mixture of awe and fear.

"Can I see that?" Beatrice asked and Paul wordlessly handed it over to her. Beatrice turned the M203 over and sure enough, there was her name stamped onto the side of the weapon. All of the weapons in her armoury had been stamped for two reasons: people had to know who was responsible for killing them and it made the weapons feel right at home. "I thought I recognized Betty-Boom," Beatrice said. "She's my absolute favourite. Where'd you get her from?"

"The dude in the diner. He was with the other vampire, the ugly old vampire dude." Paul volunteered and Beatrice gave him an appraising look. She grinned and Paul couldn't help to grin back. He trained the camera on Beatrice.

"Oh, you mean Claude?" Beatrice asked slyly. "I should have figured he'd grab some of my gear."

"Oh you know him!" Chris and Paul grinned eagerly, ready to hand the responsiblity over to someone else. "That's a relief! For a second there I thought we were going to have to figure this out by ourselves. He's kinda waiting for us to blow up the back doors so he can make an escape."

Beatrice grinned and clapped her hands in delight. "Change of plan boys! We're doing a full frontal approach!"

Chris and Paul weren't too sure about it and exchanged a panicked look, but then shrugged and went along with it, after all, Beatrice was in charge now.