So You Used to Be Human - Book 3 (Original Version)

Chapter 39: Panic and Other Malfunctions

Stun grenades, often known as "flashbangs", and in some quarters as "holy-motherfucking-fuck-that-shit-is-loud", were designed as a non-lethal alternative to just blowing people off, while having the added advantage of giving cops that chance to get their rocks off at pretending to blow shit up. It's supposed to temporarily disorient an enemy's senses with a blinding flash of light and an intensely loud bang greater than 170 decibels. I know this because that's exactly what it says on the wikipedia page, but also because after being on the receiving end of one of these grenades, you have an intimate knowledge of the effects of said grenade, as well as a burning wish to know what it was that just thoroughly fucked up your world in so many ways.

Normal people will get stunned, fall to the ground, since their inner ear balance will now be completely fucked and for about five seconds they won't be able to see anything at all. That's the flash part of it. Do I really need to tell you the effects of such intense light on the delicate retinas of vampires?

Oh I do? Well okay then, here we go.

Claude's aim with the grenade was accurate and potentially deadly. I didn't even see the grenade go sailing past me through the hole in the wall, since I was still recovering from the shock of seeing Claude in the last place I expected him to be.

"Hi Bob," Claude said, and instead of wondering why he was sticking his fingers into his ears and turning away from me, which frankly is usually a really bad sign around Claude, I was wondering how the hell I was going to save him from the Gentlemen.

Stupid me. Claude had that completely under control.

The world exploded into white that brought searing pain into my eyes that made me want to claw them out just to make the pain stop, but that was nothing compared to the sheer panic of feeling my eardrums rupture and the nothingness that came with that pain. The panic was the worst of it though as my vision slowly faded to black and all I could feel was the suddenly too loud BA-BUM-BA-BUM-BA-BUM of my own racing and desperately panicking heart.

I don't care what anybody says about the wonders of sensory deprivation therapy: fuck that shit. There is nothing peaceful about not being able to see and being 100% aware of your own heartbeat and the swish-swish of your own blood through your veins. We were not meant to hear those sounds and often do our best to make sure that we're not left alone with the sounds of our own bodies. To think that people actually paid for the experience and some nutcase doctors with their stupid fucking research actually advocated the positive aspects of this was way beyond me.

I could feel someone dragging me out of the wall and I wanted to panic, but realized I was already panicking so I couldn't possibly do anymore of that, so I focused on kicking wildly instead. I broke free and collapsed onto the floor, my sense of balance completely fucked. My legs were obeying, but I jus couldn't get upright.

Pain flared in my eyes, a bolt of what felt like slow moving lighting searing through my brain and giving me the worst ice-cream headache of all time and I was aware I could see again, but not too clearly as my vision doubled and then quadrupled, my eyes letting their displeasure known at the abuse meted out to them.

Claude appeared then and waved his hands in front of my eyes, clearly aware that he had just completely fucked up my entire world and that I wouldn't be able to hear him. He signed something about his eyes or maybe it was my eyes and I nodded vigorously and tried to give him a thumbs up. That earned me a grin from Claude as he checked his watch and then looked back into the hole into the other room where the Gentlemen were most likely in a similar state as I was.

I scrambled backward, glad that gravity was still in effect, but then I became acutely aware of a ringing in my ears... or maybe it was deep in my head, but wherever it was, more pain was coming with it. I didn't care at that point, just so glad to be able to hear something again, anything but the noises of my own body.