Dating Guys For Mother [girlxgirl]

Chapter 3 *Don't Put Me Into The Wardrobe*

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Chapter 3

"Vya, Vya, Vya, Vya." Something cold and wet splashed on me. I screamed opening my eyes to a world of red. It was all crinkerly and fuzzy, smelling like strawberrys.

I opened my mouth to scream again and feeling something suck into my mouth. I choked, I turned round feeling something slime off my face. Jelly lay in front of me. WTF.

"Morning Vya, I made jelly for breakfast," Ida grinned scoping the jelly onto a plate. She pulled a phone out of her jeans, "Your mums on the phone." I caught the phone after it bounced on the floor. I'm surprised it hadn't broken by now.

"Hi mum," Ida wiggled her eyebrows at me before leaving the room. I watched her arse as she left the room, yum. I realised my mum was talking to me, "Sorry mum, didn't catch that."

I heard my mum sigh in frustration, "I said how was the date, Vya."

"Is that my precious Vya," I heard a shreik in the background and a fumble."Hello Purple Pimple," My dad called down the phone, "Did you tell the guy to get lost, yet? Gosh your mum is just so old fashioned, she can be such a fudge bucket salior."

"Barry, I'm still on the line," My mum answered unimpressed.

"Porriadge monsters," My dad doesn't swear he's just makes up phrases as he went along. "Well remember my little biscuit that your mother is a wonderfully and amazing SOCK EATER."

"BARRY," My mum shrieked, I pulled the phone away from my ear as she started a fully abusive scream at my dad. "Vya? Vya, look what you've done Barry she's gone."

"No mum I'm still here."

"Is that my Vya?" My dad called again. I heard the sound of running feet in the background.

"Barry, if you dare pick that phone up I'm going to lock you in the wardrobe again." My mum threated. I snickered at the thought of my dad looked in the wardrobe, he would hate it. "Anyway dear, how did it go?"

"It was fine, Mum."

"What did you do?" Mum was trying to pick through my seams.

"We went to dinneR, you knew." I accused, "You were there, about three tables away, Dad was screaming that the meatballs were eating the spagetti."

I could imagine my mum rolling her eyes, "What did you do after?"

"He dropped me home."

"Well?" My mum was getting excited now.

"Well what?" I asked, honestly wondering what she wanted me to say.

"Did he kiss you?" My mum almost shouted.

"No but I'm sure Forest tried." I laughed at my mum's groan.

"You know nothing is going to happen, Eva. Vya is into girls not guys."

"Barry, what did I say about being on the phone?" My mum scolded.

"Damn I forgot," I heard my dad's high pitched scream, "No Eva, I'll be good don't put me in to the wardrobe NOOOO." The line went dead, I should call back later.

I jumped off my bed, I hadn't even changed last night. I pulled off my dress and tights, dumping them into the back of the wardrobe. I pulled on some jeans and a baggy top. Running into the living room I paused, gorking at the scene. Ida was sitting on the sofa eating jelly while Forest was hanging from the ceiling in a net. He grinned at me, his hands were tied to his feet.

"How was your mum?" Forest asked.

"Freddy what did I say about talking?" Ida, threw a fork towards the net.

"I'm not Freddy," Forest yelped swerving the net out of the way.

"Umm... Why is he in there?" I asked and where the hell did she get the net.

"He made you cry," Ida smiled offering me a plate of jelly. "This tastes nice and Vyadery."

"Aww that's sweet," I grinned, running into the kitchen and coming back with a carving knife.

Forest screamed, "DON'T KILL ME, I'M SORRY." She cried hysterically.

"I was going to cut you down numpty," I took the knife slashing through the ropes.

"Aww, you're such a doll V."

"And you're such a man F," Ida retorted, Forest started rolling around collasping onto her back.

"Ida be nice," I scolded, she pouted her lips which caused my heart to flutter. Oh she's so damn adoreable. I turned back to Forest. "Now Forest, if you promise not to hurt Ida I'll let you go so I can go to work and trust I can leave you kids alone."

"Of course you can Mummy," Ida added sarcastically.

I grinned cutting the ropes around Forest's hands and feet, "Okay then," I ran back to my room before hearing something breaking and the sound of screaming. Wow longer then usual.