Decisions for Withdrawal (Alice in Chains)

Crumbling Fidelity

Jerry's behavior quickly turned around once I told him I was pregnant. I called Layne during my break. The restaurant didn't like us using their phone for personal reasons but I had no choice. I had to talk to Layne and I had to do it at work. It was an emergency. He answered immediately.

"I'll be right there," he said in one breath.

He showed up insanely fast.

'Hey," he said quietly in the back parking lot of the restaurant. "Is everything okay?"

I stuttered quite a bit. "Um...I'm not sure..."

"Whatever it is, I'm sure we can work something out...I'm sure we can fix it."

"Layne I'm...pregnant."

Layne looked at me confused. "That's not a bad thing, Liv. Jerry does want kids. I know it's not the best time but maybe it'll be enough for him to get clean. Maybe he'll be more responsible with everything because he has to."

"Layne you know what we did together, and we weren't careful, at all."

Layne looked down, and then slowly backed up. He thought for a while. "It was only once Liv. The chances of it being mine aren't very high."

"That's all it takes though... it only takes one time. Jerry and I have barely done anything intimate lately, and we haven't used protection multiple times, and nothing. What if you have like super sperm or something?"

Layne giggled and I hit him on the arm.

"Not funny," I said harshly. "This is bad Layne...this is really, really bad."

"Sorry," he said quietly, his face flushing into a bright red color. "What if you got an abortion?"

I shook my head. "I couldn't do that...I could never do that."

Layne shrugged his shoulders. "Fair enough."

"Layne what if it's yours," I thought for a while. "We can't even do a DNA test until the baby is born. Fuck and he was so excited too about being a dad. He's been so excited. He's had a light shining from his face. Fuck why couldn't we use protection..."

"We can let him believe it's yours. That's okay with me. I can help you when I can. I'll be the godfather. It's too early to panic."

"Don't tell me not to panic. Layne, what if the baby grows up looking like Jerry? I really can't afford a kid right now. I don't have the time or the money."

"I'll give you some money, then. It's no problem. Besides Jerry and I have some of the same features. There's a good chance that he won't be able to tell the difference."

I sighed and put my head in my hands. I started crying at the thought of everything on my plate. I couldn't take care of three people. There was no way. Layne put his hand on my shoulder.

"Let's get outta here."

I looked at him strangely. "I'm only halfway through my shift."

"Tell your boss you're sick. Try to get out of it. I'll pay you for any lost tips and stuff like that."

I hesitated.

"Come on," he smiled, playfully hitting me on the arm. "If I know anything about pregnant women, it's that they're always hungry. Let's go get some food."

I sighed. "Well, okay. I guess it'll be a good lead-in to telling my boss I'm pregnant whenever I get the guts to tell him."

I told my boss I was leaving early because I wasn't feeling well and he let me go. The restaurant was pretty dead that day anyway. Layne and I ate in silence for a while at the same diner we had gone to before. I was in such a funk. I was hoping and praying that the baby was Jerry's. Even if Layne was the father and I was able to pull the lie over his eyes, I couldn't imagine the guilt I would feel looking at the baby all the time, knowing it was his best friend's, knowing it was a product of my betrayal of our relationship.