Where I Found You

Chapter 37 - Will now.

Chapter 37 - Will now.

Christmas has flown past and I still feel the same. No Alyssa, nothing to do. No friends in Oxford. Miki thinks that I've finished that book, To Kill A Mockingbird, when really it's lying at the bottom of my bag untouched for three weeks.

I desperately need a holiday or something. Funny, seen as I've just had one.

I work and work and study and study and when I am not doing that I am either asleep or on my way to work or study. Sterling is the same as ever and that comforts me. I continuously make small-talk with the girls in the Mardi Gras to satisfy them and keep them from asking questions, and as we move into the first few weeks of January, the place is quieter than I've ever seen it.

It was Niall's birthday and I had meant to call him but chickened out. I don't know why. Tai's birthday is next month and if I can't call Niall then I have no chance of making contact with Tai. It makes me feel physically ill inside when I think about it all, every aspect of it; me just floating around, with problems and problems that cannot be solved. They can't be solved at all; they're just suspended in mid-air.

"You've been wiping that table for ages, Will!" Simone struts past with a few menus for a table in the corner, and laughs as I stand up straight from my deep thinking. I look down at the now-sparkling table top, then go back to my duty hanging around the door to welcome people. It's getting dark how, at five o'clock on a Sunday evening. The winter is depressing and I can't stand it any longer.

"Thanks," two guys call as they walk past me, over to the windy door.

Nodding, I cross my arms and look around. "Have a nice day."

I turn back around to the door then. There's hardly anything to do - this seems to be one of the lower months here. But all of a sudden I'm staring into a pair of bright green eyes which are shocked and fearful, and I have to step back to steady myself.

"You work here?" Alyssa demands incredulously. Then, she looks away from me, probably to check if anyone else is on duty so she doesn't have to face me. I just grab her a menu from the stand and nod, my insides trembling.

"Yeah."

I wonder why she's here, why it's only now that she has decided to check this place out. I wonder why she's on her own. I stand there, staring at her for ages as she regards me suspiciously, until finally I have to clear my throat and lead her off towards a table.

I put her in near the fire and then once she has sat down, put the menu in front of her. It stays untouched as she observes me.

"Do you . . . Do you want to order a drink now?" I hear a robotic voice from inside of me ask. I want to ask how her Christmas went. I want to say happy new year. But I close my eyes briefly, trying to imagine her as just a normal customer. It's impossible.

When I open them again, Alyssa is staring down at the now-open menu. Anywhere but my eyes. "I'll have Sprite."

I nod then I have to walk away before I go mad. I hurry up to the bar, where Keira is as usual. I go behind the bar and whisper in her ear, "My girlfriend - I mean ex-girlfriend - is sitting at table twenty. I can't serve her, Keira."

"This is work, Will." Keira frowns and goes to get a drink for a customer. "You have to do what you've been told to do."

"I'm not even waiting tables. I'm on the door." I plead with her as I begin to fill up a glass with Sprite for Alyssa. "Can you get someone else to wait on her?"

Sighing, Keira looks over to the area where Alyssa is sitting. "What happened between you two? You don't want to try and get her back?"

"I can't, Keira," I mumble. I don't give her any time to reply - I walk right off and then grab Justine's attention.