Sneaking in the dark (student/teacher relationship)

Chapter 11.1

Copyright © 2013 Kamilla

All rights reserved.

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Chapter 11.1

Two things in my gloomy life I had no-whatsoever control over were when my mom would ever return from wherever she hid, and if I still was in relationship with my teacher. My gut told me no, while my heart screamed yes and my head told me to run after him to let him explain. It isn’t exactly something I want to share with everyone, however, I am weak. I want him, I don’t trust him, I love him, and all those things were fighting each other as if it depended on life. Well, somehow it did depend on life, my life – or perhaps not that drastic.

I’m just a teenager for god’s sake, I’m supposed to hang out with my friends and just enjoy life. Worry about my grades at school, dream about my future job and love life. I wanted space, but I wanted Michael equally much. Lowering my head to my knees as I enjoyed the silence of the house, made me realize that I was indeed alone yet again. When was the last time this house was filled with laughter? Not that I mind the silence, I’d grown accustomed to it over the years after John left. I miss John so much, he was the only person in my family that actually gave me some support and love – no matter how weird John really is. My mom had her fucked up reasons to be absent and my dad was somewhere in this world enjoying his life, my brother too.

What about me? I had Michael whom I always could run off to. However, it seemed like I always got the burnt edges of the stick when it was handed out. I would forgive Michael, I realized. I almost had no choice. He had given me my spirit back after the divorce, and no matter how conflicted my emotions were – I would forgive him. If he only would explain to me why he was at another woman’s house, with a child present! And explain why he obviously lied about his cousin, then it all could go back to normal.

The house phone ringing made me leap a mile in the air as curses flew out of my mouth.

“Shit! Fucking loud thing,” I cursed loudly, and almost winced when I heard how lewd I sounded.

Whenever I get angry, I cuss like a sailor. Fuck that. Oh, forget that I mean.

“Hello?” I answered the phone, expecting it to be mom or perhaps Cameron who would tell me where my phone was at – although the logic part of my brain seemed to eliminate both of those options.

The logic part knew that it would be someone entirely else.

“It’s Eva again, the one on the phone earlier?” the woman from earlier replied.

My jaw dropped. Was she out after rubbing the embarrassment in my face or something? Give me all the reasons to not forgive Michael.

“Umh,” I stammered, mentally slapping myself hard for sounding like the biggest tool ever.

“Umh yes,” she snickered snidely and I hated her for it. “I know this is probably very awkward, but I kind of figured you’re Michael’s girlfriend, right?”

Was there an answer to this? Was I supposed to say ‘yep, that’s me! Want to exchange bedstories, mine are feisty – how about yours?’. How about…no?

“Right, I’ll take your silence as a yes if that’s okay with you,” she said, clearly impatient.

“I just wanted to clarify that if Michael doesn’t follow the rules we’ve set up, then he can forget all about his chance at a normal life with, well, you probably know who. I don’t know how long you’ve dated, but the time limit to give me information is one month! Could you give me his address so I can send the stuff he left behind at the hotel to him? You probably know how important his stuff is, he needs it within days.”