Healing : A Roman Reigns Fan Fiction

chapter 29

"My, Dearest Joe,

If you are reading this letter then I guess I was wrong about the headaches being no big deal. In fact I know I was. I should have told you when they started but I knew what you would do. You would have gone all protective Samoan on me and drug me to the Dr. He would have freaked out about my blood pressure and he would have insisted he deliver the baby. Little Noah isn't ready for that just yet.

Growing up I never had a mother, I cant remember a single gift I ever got from her for Christmas, or my birthday. I didn't get a wedding dress passed down from my mother, or a hope chest full of baby clothes to one day give my child. The only thing my mother gave me was this mental illness that has plagued me for most of my adult life. I have prayed to God every day of this pregnancy that I have a larger legacy than that to hand down to Noah. I am trying to be a mother to him now, even if the opportunity I have is short. I am going to protect him, and keep him safe inside me for as long as I possibly can. I love him so much already. I love you both so much. Whatever happens to me, Please just love him. Please just be his father, and don't mourn my loss, celebrate his life each and every day.I never had much of a father growing up either. Please just be his father Joe."

The tears were pouring down my face now. I wasn't ready to say good bye to her. I continued reading her words

"I never told you this, but I used to lay awake at night and just watch you sleep. I know it sounds a little stalkerish, but I had convinced myself that this whole wonderful ride we were on was a dream. Women like me don't end up with amazing men like you. I would be afraid to fall asleep myself because I didn't want to wake up and you be gone. So I would watch you sleeping, I would listen to your breathing and eventually it would lull me into safety and I would sleep myself. And every morning I would wake up and you would still be by my side. I am not giving up Joe. Please don't think that for a minute. I am going to fight. I am going to do everything I can to crawl through that hole again. And this time, by the grace of God, you and our son will be there waiting for me.

Just in case though, if something happens and I don't make it back to you, please do a couple of things for me.

1- Tell Noah every day how much I love him

2- Tell Noah every day how much we loved each other

and last but not least

3- Once, just once try wrestling with your hair up."

I couldn't help but laugh, even though she had me bawling.

"well I have to go now baby. I'm sitting out here alone on this couch writing a letter and you are in our bed naked. what's wrong with this picture. I love you joe "

I put the letter down and wiped my tears. I love you too Rea.

I had managed to get myself cleaned up and was about to head back to the hospital when the door bell rang. It was Colby standing on the other side.He had been at the hospital everyday since Reagan was admitted but he and I never really talked. not since that day.

"I don't understand Colby. She actually told me that she wanted me to go out and sleep with another woman. what the hell is wrong with her?"

"That's not what she wants Joe. She is just scared. this has been really hard for her. She's scared."

"Is that what she told you?"

"yes"

"why didn't she just talk to me about it?"

"Because you are never here. You are never here for her anymore. And when you are here you are so pissed off at Stephanie and so wrapped up in whether or not they are conspiring against you to give me my belt back that you don't even pay attention to your wife. Your wife is going through hell right now .Open your damn eyes and be there for her."

"If I didn't know any better I would think you are in love with my wife"

"I am"

That was the defining moment right there.

1....2......3......and the new heavyweight champion is.... Seth Rollins.

"Now you got your damn belt back. Stay the fuck away from my wife"

I looked at him standing there at the door. He and I may not be seeing eye to eye right now.. but at least I knew he understood my pain.

'I cant lose her man" I said as I broke down again.

"I Know buddy. I know"