Coach Styles [l.s]

16

Strong language. Possible trigger, warning. Vivid events. Don't read if you can't handle. Xx

Shit. This can't be happening. Why is he in my house? How did he get in? This is so unrealistic. This whole thing is so unrealistic. I never thought that in a million years that I would end up in this position. Not only this, but everything that has happened. It's so bizarre and crazy. Ever since I left, things have been madness.

I quickly hide the blade behind my back and look up at him. There are still tear tracks down my face. I know I look like shit. But Harry can't see me like this. He's looking down at me, mouth open and bent into a frown. His hair is curly and resting upon his shoulders. But I don't miss the look in his eyes. It's either anger, or sympathy, or a bit of both. Whatever it is, I don't like it. He comes closer and closes the door slowly. I wipe my tears away and shift my body, so I can hide the blade easier.

"What the hell are you doing," he asks with much authority and I shake even more. His body is so much bigger than mine, especially when I'm down here and he's up there. He also always seems bigger when he's mad like he is now.

"What the hell are you doing in my house," I shout back, tears threatening to spill from my eyes once again. He isn't allowed to be here. He can't see me like this.

"You forgot your phone and medical papers," he says looking down at me fiercely. I fidget under his stare.

"B-but you can't just come into my house like this," I continue to scream but I look down right after. This is so embarrassing and like I said, I never would have thought I would be in this situation. It's crazy and so surreal.

"I wasn't planning on it," he says back, trying to get me to look at him.

Okay now I'm confused.

"I was only going to ring the bell and drop them off, but I heard someone crying," he pauses," hysterically, and I was very concerned. I tried to knock, and ring the bell but no one answered." I look up at him now, he's looking down at me with sadness in his eyes. This whole thing is just embarrassing for me.

"So I tried the door, and it opened. I didn't want to come in, but the cries were so loud. I thought someone in your family was hurt," his eyes flicker between both of mine. He continues his story, much to my pleasure, not, "So I followed the cries to this room and then I realized it was your crying." He stops talking and looks at me. He finally kneels down to my height and looks into my eyes. This is so embarrassing for me. I let out even more sobs and cries, this is all too much for me.

He grabs onto my chin and makes me look him in the eyes. "Baby, why are you crying," he asks frantically and concernedly. Baby. Baby? That does stuff to me. I love him calling me baby. I never thought that he would call me that. Maybe he calls everyone baby. That thought gets me even more sad though. I want to be his only baby.

Tears fill up my eyes again and I can't help but let one loose. My blade is still behind my back. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my pink wall and then remember what my room looks like. He's going to think that I'm some perverted sick teenager! I shut my eyes at this and clench my free hand into a fist. I open my eyes and look back into his now soft ones.

"I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for anyone! All I do is fuck up everything. No one likes me. I'm a faggot. I like guys. That's wrong! And have you seen my room?! Look at it! It's all girly and babyish! It was like this when we moved, but I had a chance to redo it, but I didn't! So I am some freak who doesn't mind girly things. And I hate that about myself! Im sure that my dad cheated on my mum because he didn't want to have to deal with me! I'm sure that's why he cheated. And now we moved away from him, and I'm all alone at school. I'm weird.. I hate myself, I hate myself..." I cry out loud and whimper into his hand. I want to disappear right now. This is too much to handle. I just told him everything, I told him too much. I can't believe I told him all that! My eyes are now shut and I'm bawling out loud. His hand tightens on my chin.