Chapter 23
Dropping what she was doing, Cheryl headed downstairs to the front door, somewhat surprised at the ringing of the doorbell as she wasn't expecting anyone.
A week had passed since her visit to Kimberley's flat and, yes, for the next few days, everytime the doorbell rang, she had raced to it in the hopes that her beloved would be standing behind it. But, she never had been, and now, a week later, she had given up her feeble hope.
'She doesn't love you anymore Cheryl' she told herself everytime she was disappointed to see the postman or a salesperson standing there when she opened the door. 'She's not coming'
And this time was no different, although today's visitor was of slightly more interest to her than the postman.
"Nadine," she sighed, a sad smile adorning her lips. "Come on in"
Stepping up onto the doorstep of the big house, Nadine reached out her arms and took Cheryl into a warm embrace. "Aw darlin', I'm so sorry. How are you?" she asked her softly, noticing the sadness and lack of sleep etched on the Geordie's face.
"I'm ok," Cheryl told her, quite unconvincingly as she pulled away, fearing that if she allowed herself to be held any longer, her grief would overwhelm her again, as it had been doing regularly over the past week.
Changing the subject, she closed the front door and started towards the kitchen. "Do you want some tea pet?" she offered and nodding her acceptance, Nadine followed her through the living room towards the spacious kitchen, passing several half filled suitcases along the way.
"You going somewhere Chez?" Nadine asked curiously, gesturing in the general direction of the cases. Turning back to look at the Derry girl, Cheryl grimmaced before she spoke. "Aye babe. I've decided to take the job in America. I leave tonight."
Nadine paused, a shocked expression playing across her pretty face. "What?" she gasped. "But Kimberley said you had decided not to take it"
"I had," she confirmed, flinching slightly at the mention of her name. "But there's nothing here for me now Nadine," Sighing she clamped her eyes tightly shut in an attempt to stem her now threatening tears before confessing "I'm lost without her"
Her own admission of her desolation was enough to open the floodgates again and, before she knew it, she was engulfed once again in Nadine's arms, her sobs wracking her body as she clung desperately to her.
"Shhh pet," Nadine soothed, stroking Cheryl's hair softly. "Don't upset yourself" she told her, although clearly it was far too late for that. "Of course she loves you" she finished.
Cheryl shook her head, still buried in the crook of Nadine's neck. "No she doesn't. She told me so" she sniffled. "And, it was so weird. She said she was sick of not being told about big things but, I swear Nadine, I've never kept anything from her before!"
"Well, you know that was only to do with Justin babe," Nadine rationalised to Cheryl's confusion. Pulling out of the embrace, she met Nadine's concerned eyes. "Who's Justin?" she asked.
"Kimberley's ex?" she explained trying to trigger her memory but the vacant expression on Cheryl's face told her that she hadn't a clue what she was talking about. Nadine paused somewhat shocked at Cheryl's lack of knowledge on the subject before going on.
"Cheryl, Justin was Kimberley's last big relationship. They went out for four years but they broke up when Kim found out he'd been gambling away money from their joint account, taking out a second mortgage on their house just to cover his debts. Kimberley had no idea. She was devastated that he'd kept her in the dark for so long"
Wiping stray tears from Cheryl's cheeks, Nadine frowned. "I thought you would have known about that"
"No," Cheryl said her eyes wide with astonishment. "She never told me about that. She never even mentioned him"
"Oh right," Nadine muttered to herself, half wondering if she had overstepped the mark in telling Cheryl all this but, having seen the state both girls were in due to their lies and ommisions, she felt it was justified.
"Well look babe," she started. "At least now you know the reason she got so worked up about it and, as for not loving you anymore, well, that's complete sh*te babe! She's mad about you"
Having listened patiently for a moment or two, Cheryl shook her head at the end of Nadine's little speech. "Not according to her," she said, so low she could barely be heard, averting her eyes and attention to tracing her finger along the grain in her wooden kitchen table.
"Babe," Nadine started, taking Cheryl's figeting hands in her own in another attempt to convince the Geordie that what she said was the truth but Cheryl shook her head a second time.
"Don't Nadine," she silenced her. It was bad enough hearing those words from Ashley back when his infidelities had come to light. Bad enough hearing them from a man she was sure she despised in return. But to hear them from the woman she had left in charge of her fragile heart, the woman who had shown her it was okay to love again and to give herself fully to another... it was more than Cheryl was sure she could take.
"You know as well as I do that Kimberley doesn't say things she doesn't mean" Cheryl told Nadine causing the Irish girl to take a deep breath before exhaling slowly, feeling frustrated with her own inability to convince Cheryl of something she consdiered to be obvious fact.
"Cheryl," she told her more forcefully. "I know that you were close to her but remember that I've known her for a lot longer than you have. And trust me when I say she didn't mean it. She knows that this offer is a big opportunity for you and she doesn't want you throwing it away for her sake"
As she finished speaking, Nadine noticed that Cheryl didn't argue back. Maybe she was taking it in after all and maybe, just maybe, her and Kimberley's relationship could be salvaged. Sensing she should continue, she took one more deep breath before making her suggestion.
"Why don't you come back to the flat with me?" she suggested. "You two can have a proper chat about this"
Her head shaking violently from side to side, Cheryl rose hastily from her seat. Go over there again? After the humiliation of last week? She must be joking!
"Not a chance Nadine," she started. "She's made her position very clear. I'm not going to beg"
Nadine sighed again raising her eyebows at the Geordie who folded her arms stubbornly.
"I'm not going to budge on this Nadine" she told her and Nadine shrugged dramatically before looking her directly in the eye.
"You're making a big mistake here Cheryl," she told her bluntly. "And I think you know it"
