An Alderaanian Love Story

Chapter 5

  She sat alone, darkness and silence enveloping and encompassing her. She tried to smile again, tried to find something to smile about, but anger and sadness had control of her now and Leia feared this nighttime visit with Raal wouldn't help.

  In solitude, Leia waited until she thought she couldn't wait any longer. Longing made the seconds seem to stress into hours as she awaited the comfort of a friend, someone who could support her through all that she was doing. Someone who would assure her that this was the right move for her. She needed to have this talk with him. They'd been friends as long as her and Winter, surely Raal would help her through this one.

  He approached and, instantly, Leia's spirits lifted. Smiling, she jumped into his arms and only smiled brighter when she heard his responsive chuckle. He hugged her back and the two sat down together. "You asked me to meet you here?" he asked her as she gently nuzzled against his arm, her head resting against his shoulder. "You sounded so rushed and nervous. I hope you're alright."

  "I just need a break." Leia tried to explain, closing her eyes, letting the peace of the night take her over. "My family, my aunts and parents, they don't understand. They think they can just keep pushing me down a certain path and then they expect me to follow it, to keep in that direction and make all the decisions that will make them happy. Raal?"

  "Mm hmm?" he asked back, softly stroking her head, running his fingers over her braided hair. Leia fell to fit closer to his body, her figure conforming to his. "You get it, don't you? I don't want to deal with this now. I need a good friend. Raal?"

  "I'm here," he assured her, bringing his hand down to brush her cheek and he began to slowly lean in for a kiss. Oblivious, Leia continued on, her eyes shut tightly, fighting a war against tears. "Good because I need you here. Please, Raal. No one else understands. I feel so forced into all of this. Raal, I can't do this anymore. How am I supposed to make them understand that I don't want to live my own life their way, that I don't want to have to choose between so many guys who are seen fit in their eyes?"

  "Leia, my sweet," Raal gave a little chuckle, his lips nearing her face. "You worry too much. You never give yourself a break. Relax for a moment, let your head clear. Calm down, Leia, dear. Have no fear." Raal chuckled again in Leia's ear, his lips about to brush with Leia's. "I. Am here."
  "You bastard!" Leia suddenly jumped from his lap. Raal, in reaction, jumped too and tried pulling Leia closer to him to help calm her. But Leia was in a fit of rage now and Raal was her target. "You're just like the rest of them! I feel so stupid! Raal, how could you do that to me? I trusted you! I was consoling in you! You . . ." she fumbled for words, her eyes rolling about in their search. "You-you . . ."

  "Leia, I'm only trying to help!" he held his arms out to her, but she shoved him back so he stumbled and fell to the ground.

  "No!" she growled, shaking her head as she neared him. "No! Don't you even start on me. I trusted you! I thought I could turn to you. I thought you would help me!"
  "Leia, even you have to realize at some point that your aunts are right. Alderaan is waiting for you to assume the throne. Not Bornan, not Gram, not me. You, Leia. They're waiting for you to lead them. And they can't wait until you think you're ready. This is how it's always been. What's so difficult about this? What don't you understand? Leia, I'm trying to help you here. I'm trying to get your family off your back. Marry me and it will all be over. You won't have to visit another suitor again."

  Only half surprised, Leia stepped back just as Raal bent to a knee and showed her a ring, shaped and colored like the seal of the House of Panteer. He was serious. Sneaky this had been, Leia had to admit, but it wasn't going to happen. In all honesty, Leia was hurt that he would try such a thing. But all the houses and many other intergalactic nobles were getting themselves into a tizzy over her hand. It was too much to think that her best friend was willing to try and play friend while he was aiming for much more. "No," she shook her head, pushing Raal's arm back, refusing the jewelry piece. "No, Raal. You ought to know better than that. You shouldn't have. This was a waste of your time." She stopped crying, tried to hold it all in, but her eyes were starting to sting and she knew she wouldn't be able to hide it for much longer. On the brink of breaking into sobs, she ran away.

  Leia found herself racing back to the palace, finding her way to her bedroom. Sitting on her bed though, she struggled to remember how she'd gotten there. She fell back onto her mattress, turned over and cried into her pillow until her eyes didn't sting anymore. Over and over, she sobbed, sniffling, gasping as she cried. Her pillow was soaked in her tears, her hair a mess and, surely, her throat would soon be sore from crying so hard. Her chest hurt. Leia just wanted all the pain to stop. And Raal hadn't helped a bit.

  Leia laughed at the thought that most other women dreamed of this all happening to them, of men fighting over them, being proposed to, a wedding in their very near future, but Leia just wanted to be done with it all. If she couldn't choose the way her love life would work out, might as well just skip over the whole thing. The whole thing didn't seem worth it to Leia after all she'd yet endured. Though, she knew it wasn't about to stop.

  She pulled the covers over her and cried for hours on end until the lights went out and Leia drifted off.