Speak Now

Chapter 5

Luke sat on his couch, he was staring off into space. At first,  the emotions were too bear to handle, but now, he felt nothing. He felt numb, as if he was immune to the pain now. It wasn't like he didn't love Kelly, he did, but he just didn't grieve as much this time. As if he knew it was gonna happen. Luke didn't want to know the pain of losing someone he loved, not again. So, he knew how to solve his problem with his beloved Caroline. What if he died, like Kelly and Chris? What if Caroline died? How would he be able to handle the pain?

Caroline sat down next to Luke, rubbing his arm gently. "Luke, remember that kiss?"

Luke looked up, bewildered. He had thought Caroline forgot about that. "Yes," he breathed.

"Why didn't we just admit it? Why didn't we tell each other we loved each other. Kelly was right, we were something more. I miss us. Why didn't we have more dates? Why did we continue to be friends, knowing we loved each other?" Caroline asked him. She just admitted her feelings for him, but he had to let her go. With way his family was being picked of like a bouquet of roses, he just didn't want Caroline to go through losing him. He would just have to settle for Lizzy, because God only knows that Luke could be his next favourite flower. He had to let her go.

"I never loved you, Caroline," Luke said, trying to ignore he look she gave him.

"What do you mean?" Caroline asked, her voice was cracking. He knew she'd be raging soon.

"I never wanted to kiss you! It was awful! I love Lizzy! Caroline, you're just trying to ruin my relationship with her. You call her a gold digger, but I think you are!"

"What!?" Caroline cried out. "So, you were just like all those other frat boys! You were toying with my heart! You made me think you loved me, but it was nothing but lies! Well, I love you! I thought you were different, but it looks like I was wrong!"

Caroline slammed a piece of paper down on his table. It was the song he wrote about Lizzy, "I Know You Don't Love Me." Did she think it was about her? She had to be kidding. But Luke knew he had to lie. He couldn't let Caroline lose him. It seemed as if God was gonna take him next, or worse, her.

Was Luke right? Certainly not, you don't know if you're gonna die or not. There was a reason for Chris' death, and there will be one for Kelly's.

"By the way, I found this. I thought it was about Lizzy, but with the way you're acting, it must be about me. Goodbye, Luke. To think I loved you!" Caroline spun around before walking out. Luke felt his heart breaking. He made a huge mistake. He was being irrational. This was just Kelly's death getting to him. Now he really was stuck marrying Lizzy. Luke looked over the chorus of the song Caroline had just slammed down.

"So take your tears that you always seem to cry at the right time. And all these years, throw 'em over the bridge when you cross that county line. If I thought it would work, girl I'd hit my knees, but I know you don't love me," Luke sang as he read over the chorus.

Luke felt like running away. It was too later. Far too late. He hit the coffee table in aggravation. "God damn it! I love her!"

Lee came running into the room. "Luke," he called out. When he saw the anger in Luke's glossy eyes, he knew something was up. Lee looked from side to side, but she was gone. What did he say to her? What kind of crazy thought went through this man's head? And was he finally admitting it to himself, that he loved her and not Lizzy? "Luke, buddy, are you okay?"

Luke's tears mixed with anger. He had been stupid. His young, stupid mind had screwed him over yet again. For the second time. The first, pretending that kiss meant nothing. The second, believing Lizzy was the one. "Lee, I fucking messed up! I fucking love that woman! Now she's gone!"

Lee sat down next to Luke, trying to console him. "What did you say?"

Luke took in a deep breath. "I'm so fucking pissed off! I lost my brother, now my sister?! It seems as if God is picking us off one by one. For a second, I believed I would be next, that I'd die soon. And God only knows if I do. Caroline, with her being so attach to me, I didn't want her to go through what I am. Imagine, losing the one you love."

Lee chuckled slightly, but it wasn't because he thought Luke was being funny. No, it was because he was stupid. "Luke, I have lost the one person I love. I lost Kelly. Your sister, she was my wife. Or had you forgotten that? Caroline, if god ever takes you, will get over it. She'll find love again. But, Luke, would you rather her live a life without you or live a life with you for as long as she has you?"

Luke looked up, wiping the tears from under his baggy eyes. "I'm sorry, Lee. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's fine, but seriously?"

"I guess you're right, but I still won't get her back. It's over," Luke mumbled.

Lee just shook his head and saw Luke's lyrics to a song called, "I Know You Don't Love Me." Lee picked up and read over the first verse of words. You never been to Hollywood, put your face on a big screen. But you act, like you love me. You never been on a Broadway Stage, with your name up on the marque. Yet you act, like you love me.  He had never seen anything like it before. Lee then looked up at Luke and pointed to the lyrics. "Who is this about?"

"Lizzy," Luke muttered. "I know she is just in it for the money. I knew it as soon as we had our fight over Caroline. When we slept together. But Caroline, she thought it was about her. It's not, it's about Lizzy."

Lee could feel his heart break for his brother-in-law. "Gosh, Luke. I'm real sorry."

Luke let out a big huff of air. "It's alright. Why don't you go take care of the kids, I'll be fine."

Lee stood up to go play with the kids. "You sure you'll be okay?"

Luke nodded. "Caroline and I, we're done. I made my mistakes, I learned from them. I thought us dating was gonna ruin our friendship. I was scared to lose her. Clearly I was wrong. Now that she's gone, I don't know what to think. But I'll be okay. I just have to figure out this Lizzy issue."

"And I'm sure you will, bud," Lee smiled. "It'll all work out, I promise."

"I hope so," Luke said, clearly not believing his own words.

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A/N: I know, I know, short chapter. This chapter is really important, however. Will Caroline move on? What will happen between Luke and Lizzy? Luke was sure being irrational. He just had a mental breakdown. Did Caroline have a right to be mad? What about the lyrics? What do you think about them? How will Luke try and win Caroline back? Or is it truly over for them? Luke finally admits to being in love with Caroline, but he messed up. What'll happen next?

The song above is I Know You Don't Love Me, Luke actually sang this, but it was never released on an album.

~Kelsea