just a school project || a hs phan au

Chapter 14

a/n: this is mostly useless dialogue whoops sorry but duDE 1k likes (or whatever they're called) that's so great thank you guys

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Dan is fucked.

If he tells Phil how he feels, he's fucked, because Phil will know. And Phil will know he has full power over him. If he doesn't tell him, he'll be stuck in this endless spiral of wondering whether or not there's a chance that maybe Phil could like him back. Maybe once in a billion years a boy like Phil could fall for a boy like Dan.

"Come on, tell me. I don't bite," Phil assures. "Unless, you know, you're into that." He winks, but Dan chooses to ignore it.

"I don't trust you knowing my feelings at all, you know."

Phil shrugs coolly. "I figure that's probably better for you. But just tell me, it's not like I'd be pissed. I already know you like me."

"Not everyone likes you as much as you think they do, you know," Dan mutters.

"Just tell me what you-"

"Fine!" Dan yells out. He knows Phil hasn't done anything wrong, but it's only natural for him to yell. He's tired of this. He's tired of feeling any of this. "You asked me if I found you attractive. I fucking do, because you're fucking hot. And I try not to, because you're a total dick. I don't want to fall for a boy like you because there's no way that'd ever end well. You're the worst person in the world, and yet I find ways to convince myself that maybe, just maybe, you're not as awful as I think. That maybe there's some other magical side to this Phil Lester that everyone knows and has fucked. I'm an idiot, honestly. I shouldn't be thinking that. I shouldn't be admitting this to you. Because you're just going to go tell Ty, and you'd probably be able to win the bet regardless anyways because the thought of sex with you isn't that unappealing, but I'm just letting you win at this point."

Dan only pauses to take a breath because he's been speaking so quickly, but Phil takes the chance. Dan's taken by suprise when he feels lips on his own. It's a warm feeling, but it's not hot and heavy as usual. It's chaste, almost gentle, and Dan can't help but kiss back in a moment.

Kissing Phil is a fucking painkiller to him. He can feel that his eyes are watering and burning with tears, because when he's angry enough, he can't hide it. He just ignores it and wraps his arms around Phil's waist for a moment, because this is probably the last chance he'll have to kiss Phil. Maybe in a dream, in another world this would be different. Maybe Phil wouldn't be such an asshole, and Dan wouldn't be so smitten.

When Phil pulls away, he only pulls away a few inches. There's no smirk on his face. No sign of winning against Dan.

"Don't be so loud, your parents are going to hear you," Phil says calmly.

"Is that all you fucking have to say for yourself?" Dan chokes out, but he can hear his voice crack. He tells himself he's trying to keep himself together for himself, but even he knows it's only for Phil.

He's only giving Phil more and more material to work with. If Ty knew he'd cried, knew he'd admitted he had feelings for a boy like Phil, Dan would never live it down.

For once, he wanted a drink. Maybe that would make him forget.

Phil pulls away, and Dan loosens his grip around Phil. "I don't know what else to say," Phil admits quietly. Dan almost groans, but he stops himself. Phil looks different, because he's not trying to impress Dan. There's no sly smirk, but he just looks confused himself.

"Tell me you want me for sex," Dan suggests. "That you don't have feelings for anyone, ever."

Phil raises an eyebrow, turning to face Dan again. "What?"