Right Into His Hands

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I don't move any closer but simply watch him. His expression is peaceful and he looks younger, more vulnerable than I've ever seen him. Not that I've seen him all that much before this, but it's a side of him I haven't seen before. He stirs and I reach for my rod.

His eyes open and he looks at me. I stiffen, ready to fight. His brows furrow in confusion and he rubs his eyes then looks at me again. Then he sits up quickly and the blanket slides down to his waist.

My cold trek through the snow suddenly hits me at that moment and my body starts to shake, even my teeth chatter and I can't make them stop. It isn't just the cold that's making me tremble.

Kylo gets up in one quick movement and his height startles me. He's wearing dark trousers, no shirt, no socks.

"You knew I was coming..." I say, not sure if it's a question or just a statement. I pull out my rod from behind me, wishing I had something a little more dangerous to protect myself with.

Kylo runs his hand through his hair. "How would I know?"

It's unsettling, seeing him in such humble circumstances. He looks around as though searching for something. Is he looking for his mask, to cover his face? Or his light saber, to kill me with?

"The Light called me here... the Light inside of you-"

Suddenly Kylo's hand comes up and I'm thrown against the cave wall. I fall to the ground.

"There is no light in me!" he yells. His eyes are alive with anger now and he's got me in a Force grip that I can't break free from. He's stronger than before, much stronger than I remember.

He motions his hand up and I'm standing again, then suddenly I'm right in front of him. He looks me over, curiosity replacing the anger on his face.

"You haven't trained," he says, his voice close to my ear, his breath near my cheek.

I want to deny it, but I can't. He's right, I haven't trained. I suddenly feel irresponsible and selfish, for taking time, too much time, to rest on Jakku and not training.

Kylo walks around me slowly then stops in front of me again.

"You were foolish enough to think you're stronger than me, without any training, because you have the strength of the Light?" He reaches up and I flinch. "I was weak then," He whispers. "When you fought me on Starkiller Base. I'd just killed my father, a decision I had to make to fully enter into the Dark Side. There's no Light left in me, stop trying to look for it, you won't find it."

A smile creeps up on his face. I'm frozen in place and I'm angry, angry that I underestimated his strength and now he's got the better of me. Of course he's been hiding out, to regain his strength and power. The ways of the Jedi, the meditating, centering in on the power within, practicing self-control, it would work just as well for the Dark Side as for the Light. I look around the room. The candles, the simple life style... he's been harnessing his power, preparing, planning.

Despite the Force hold Kylo has on me my body can still shake.

"Let me go," I say between clenched teeth.

"You can't free yourself?" Kylo asks with a smirk. He looks over me again and frowns. "You're cold."

Suddenly the Force hold releases and I almost crumble to the floor with the gravity of Yavin 4. I quickly regain my composure and point my stick at him, keeping a distance between us. Kylo turns his back to me and grabs the blanket off his bed. He throws it in my direction and it catches on my rod.

"Dry off," he says, not looking at me.

I don't move, not sure what to do. I do actually need to get out of these wet clothes but...

"Who knows that I'm here? How did you find me?" He asks. "Who came with you?"

I'm surprised by the questions. He's asking me, rather than taking the answers from my mind. Is he not using the Force to find out the answers because he's scared I'll see his thoughts too, if he tries?

He moves about the room, getting a shirt and putting it on. I notice he still has scars on his body and his face, from our fight. I had a light saber then, but now I have nothing. How could I have showed up to face Kylo Ren without a real weapon? Or a plan of some sort? What was I thinking? I wasn't thinking, and that's the problem. I pretty much came like I was sleep walking, right into Kylo's hands.




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