A Reylo Romance: "Don't be Afraid, I Feel it Too"

Kylo's Story, Part 7 - Where She Is...

"Where she is, you must take Snoke also..." Mom has a distant look in her eyes as she repeats what I told her that dad told me. We're in the dining area and it's empty except for Mom, Finn and me. It's still too early in the morning for the others to be awake, if there actually is a day or night on this planet.

Finn shoves another spoonful of stew into his mouth. He's listening but not joining in the conversation, for once. BB-8 is by my side on the floor. She hasn't left my side for a second since I woke. I manage to keep some tomato based soup down but don't have much of an appetite yet. Finn brought the soup to me saying, "your favourite! Tomato soup!"

Mom has fruit in front of her but she's not eating. "It's just like your father to talk in riddles and not get to the point," she says, shaking her head.

"Kylo says it's a clue to finding Rey!" BB-8 beeps excitedly at my knee. I set my hand gently on her little head. She tilts it up to look at me.

"You can call me Ben now," I say quietly, looking down at her. She responds with an incoherent beep that I imagine translates into a BB-Unit's equivalent of what an electronic smile would sound like. One of her tiny doors open and a lighter flicks on. Strange...

"Maybe what Solo meant," Finn says with a mouthful of food. "Was that if we take Snoke to Rey she'll destroy him!"

My mom shakes her head slowly. "No. I get the feeling she's locked herself away in the very place we can contain Snoke for all eternity, without killing him, or letting him live either."

I frown and my mom notices immediately. She sets her hand over mine. "Don't worry, we'll find her," she says.

"You look different," Finn states, eating a sandwich now.

"Different clothes," I say to him, in case he still hasn't picked up on why I look different. I'm not surprised it took him this long to notice, he's a Stormtrooper after all.

"No, it's something else," he mumbles through food.

My mom's palm warms the top of my hand, making my chest ache with sadness. She never stopped believing I'd return. She looks so fragile now, smaller than I remember from when I was a boy. Seeing her like this makes me think of all the years we've missed getting to know each other.

"There's an old Jedi legend," she says softly, "about the waters of Ahch-To. Their waves can wash a Jedi clean of his past, and can start them on a new path, of their own choosing. But many Jedi have died in these waters trying to do just that. The ocean is dangerous and wild."

The room falls silent.

Then Finn says, "Yes. That's what it is! Kylo... I mean Ben, you look more washed and clean."

* * *

Whispers, all around me. I don't need super hearing power to know what is being said. I can see it in their eyes before they quickly look away and pretend they're not staring, pretend they're not talking about me. I keep my head held high as I walk down the halls of the Resistance Base, but my stomach tightens with each hushed conversation that drifts to my ears.

Mom was right about the waters of Ahch-To. I haven't felt Snoke's influence at all since I've risen from those waters, like an illness that I had for as long as I can remember and now has lifted and is suddenly gone. My steps are lighter when I walk and even my eyesight is clearer than ever before. And so, the whispers don't anger me, as I know they would have before. For once I feel free, truly free. Let them stare. 

I ignore them and continue on, anxious to find my mother. I remembered something else my father said to me, while I was at the brink of death, to take Snoke to the eternal children of the Dark and Light. At the place where good and evil together can abide.

It has to be a clue that could help us find where Rey is. BB-8 zips along by my feet. She doesn't have any ideas either as to what my father's words could mean. I see Finn up ahead, talking to a Resistance pilot.

"Finn!" I call to him.

They both look up and the pilot quickly walks off as I approach.

"Hey," Finn says. "Aren't you supposed to be at the infirmary for tests?"

"Ben hates doctors!" BB-8 beeps.

I have to remember to stop telling her everything.

"Have you seen my mother?" I ask Finn.

"No, but she's usually in the headquarters office." Finn lowers his voice. "Did you hear the news? Apparently Hux is still alive and Snoke has found a way to build a super weapon stronger than Starkiller Base! But a hundred times smaller."

"How reliable are these sources?"

Finn shrugs. "Connor told me. So I don't know." He crouches down to BB-8. "Hey BB-8, give me five!"

Finn holds out his hand, palm forward and BB-8 extends her small lighter. "Whoa!" Finn pulls his hand away. "We'll have to work on that one."

He stands back up again. "So what did you want to talk to the General about?"

"I remembered something else my father said."

"What?"

BB-8 beeps. "He said to take Snoke to the place where good and evil together can abide. Where the voices of the children of the dark and light, cry out from the tombs of their masters' eternal night."

I cross my arms and stare down at her. I'll have to talk to her about answering questions on my behalf.

"Wow," Finn says. "That makes no sense at all. Come on, I'll show you where the Headquarters office is."

We start walking together then Finn stops. "Wait, did you say their voices cry out... from the tombs?" He looks at BB-8.

"Yes," She says. "Where the voices of the children-"

Finn takes off running.

My heart leaps in my chest. He knows where she is!

I run after him and BB-8 zooms after me.