Lord Of The Rings: Tales of Random Craziness And Humor

A Day On The Lake and More Elf Problems

"Thanks for bringing me out here Bard." Ayleen smiled at bowman as he steered his boat.

"It's my pleasure. You deserve a day of relaxation."

Bard had offered to take Ayleen out on the lake that day. It had been very enjoyable so far. The sun was shining, it wasn't too hot or too cold, everything was perfect.

"Do you want to try steering?"
Bard asked her.

"What if I wreck?"

"You won't."

Ayleen smiled and walked over to him. He showed her how to sail the boat through the water.

She got the hang of it quickly.

This is so fun!

"Why haven't we ever done this before?" she asked.

"I never thought about it before."

He kissed her on the cheek and she blushed.

Suddenly Bard shouted, "Look out!"

Bard took over and quickly stopped the boat. Ayleen lurched forward and studied herself.

Looking up she saw a huge, strange ship with black sails.

"What is that?" Ayleen exclaimed.

"It's a ship." Bard replied.

Ayleen rolled her eyes.

"I know that Bard."

A head looked over the side of the ship in confusion.

"This is not Tortuga." the voice stated.

The odd sailer finally noticed the small boat.
His face lit up in recognition.

"Will! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be on the Dutchman!"

"Will? Dutchman? What are you talking about?" Bard asked.

"Don't play dumb Will, I know it's you."

"My name is not Will."

"Right. And I suppose that lovely lady with you is not Elizabeth?"

"My name isn't Elizabeth." Ayleen stated. "It's Ayleen, and this is Bard. And who are you?"

"I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. And forgive my mistake. I could have sworn that Barf here was an old friend of mine."

"Barf?" Bard exclaimed.

Ayleen tried to hold back a laugh.

"Well, it was nice chatting with you both. But I need to find my way back to Tortuga. Farewell!"

And with that Jack Sparrow- I mean, Captain Jack Sparrow.
Sailed off to find his way to Tortuga.

"Well that was odd." Bard commented.

"It sure was Barf."

"Exscuse me?"

"I mean Bard."

Bard rolled his eyes.

"Very funny Ayleen. Very funny."

----

Dailoth was about to lose it.

They still hadn't caught the creature yet. In fact, it had made it's way into Legolas's room last night and had scared the living daylights out of him, chased him through the palace, and then threatened to eat him if he couldn't solve his riddles.

Now Legolas was paranoid.

Melui was rebeling against her father because he didn't approve of her relationship with Aragorn.

And Phoenix, well for once Phoenix was behaving but that worried her.

And to make matters worse, Thranduil's elk, Fabulous, had a cold.

Thranduil had lost it.

He blamed himself for failing as a parent, he blamed himself for his elk being sick, and he blamed Dailoth for not fixing everything.

She'd had enough. She called the royal family together and decided to straighten them out.

Except, Thranduil didn't want to leave Fabulous so they had to gather in the stables.

Thranduil was sitting with Fabulous, Legolas was looking around and jumping at every sound, Melui groaned, and Phoenix, was still behaving.

I don't like this.

Dailoth thought.

"Alright. I'm going to cut to the chase here. You all need to straighten up right NOW!"

She pointed at Thranduil.

"You need to stop being such a crybaby! You are not failing as a parent or a king. Your elk will be fine and you need to suck it up!"

She pointed at Legolas.

"You need to toughen up! You're a prince and a warrior! You've faced orcs, trolls, Mumakil, undead mountain men, Nazgul, and fell beasts! A little deranged hobbit mutant is nothing compared to that!"

"And you Melui! You need to quit with your attitude! If your in love with a mortal that's fine."

Thranduil looked up.

"Wait a minute-"

"AS LONG AS IT'S REAL IT'S FINE! JUST STOP REBELING AGAINST YOUR FATHER!"

"AND YOU PHOENIX! STOP BEHAVING SO MUCH! IT'S CREEPING ME OUT!"

She looked at all of them.

"Thank you for your time."

She stormed out of the stables leaving the four of them standing.

"Poor Dailoth. She needs a break."
Phoenix commented.

"Maybe we should get her a cat. I heard that worked out great for Elrond when Lindir was acting up." Legolas said.

*Fabulous suddenly sneezes all over Thranduil.*

"And, someone should get him a towel." Melui grimaced.

"I'm out." Phoenix ran out of the stables.

"Me too." Melui ran.

Legolas sighed.

"I'll get you a towel..."

----
So we now have three main animal characters. Foe Hammer, ThunderPuff, and Fabulous.
Also, am I the only one who thinks that Bard looks like Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean?