Lord Of The Rings: Tales of Random Craziness And Humor

Things Start To Make Sense (sorta)

"Es what are you doing?"
Melui asked.

Esmerelda's face, which had been angry, quickly changed to a bright smile when she saw the others.

"Melui! Losider! You.... Elf.... Girl.... I don't really know. What brings you guys here?"

"You."
Losider replied.

"Huh?"

"We've been looking everywhere for you! And those two."
Melui pointed at Fili and Kili.
"And the goat, the elk, and the cat."

"But as soon as we find you, those guys jump Legolas and leave him lying in the- Whoa how did you get untied?"
Piper tried to figure out how Legolas had manged to untie himself, and have absolutely no signs of the struggle.

He shrugged.
"I'm Legolas."

"Sorry about that."
Kili apologized.

"We thought you her."
Fili added.

"Who?"
Losider asked.

"The White Witch."
Esmerelda explained.
"She calls herself the Queen of Narnia, but she really isn't."

"White Witch?"
Melui asked.

"Queen?"
Losider asked.

"Narnia?"
Piper asked.

Esmerelda sighed.
"Ok let me explain, Narnia is the place we are in, the wardrobe brought us here. Fili, Kili, Fabulous, ThunderPuff and I found our way to her ice palace.
There we encountered the White Witch, realized she was bad, stole her sleigh, ran back here to find Foe Hammer, and some help because she has our friends."

"Wait a minute, you stole her sleigh?"
Frodo asked.

Esmerelda glared at him and shouted, "I AM NOT SPEAKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU APOLOGIZE YOU UNDERSIZED URUK-HAI!!!"

"Apologize for what?"
Frodo asked.

"OH DON'T GIVE ME THAT!!! YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!"

"You mean about what I said to you in the Shire? Oh grow up Es! You're so sensitive."

"YOU TOLD ME THAT I WAS UNWANTED AND ANNOYING!!!"

"WELL YOU CAN BE!!!"

"LOOK WHO'S TALKING
MR. CAN CARRY A RING TO MORDOR BUT CAN'T CLIMB UP  THE MOUNTAIN BY HIMSELF!"

"DO NOT TO SPEAK TO ME OF MORDOR!!!"

"I WILL IF I WANT!!!"

"STOP!"

"NO!!!!"

"Hey guys? I realize that you're trying to solve your differences, but there's a very good chance that our friends could be dead so can you guys work this out later?"
Piper asked.

The hobbits glared at each other.

"Fine."
They said in unison.

"Good. Now that we got that out of the way, we need to rescue our friends."

Everyone turnes to Legolas who looked at them in confusion.

"What?"

"Well go on."
Losider nudged him.

"What?"

"Make everything perfect!"

"I can't just snap my fingers and make everything perfect!"

"Have you tried?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Have you tried snapping your fingers and making everything perfect?"

Legolas shuffled his feet nervously.

"I can't snap my fingers."

"You can't what?"

"I never learned how to snap my fingers ok? I also can't whistle..."

"I've been whistling since I was six."
Frodo said.

"I could snap ever since I was thirty."
Melui commented.

The others looked at her curiously.

"That's like thirteen in elf years."
Losider said.

"Your point?"

"CAN WE PLEASE FOCUS!?!?"
Piper shouted.

Everyone shrank back.

"Es, we need you to take us to the White Witch's castle."
Piper said.

"Una problema, there's not enough room for everyone to fit on the sleigh."
Esmerelda glanced at the sleigh.

"We'll have to make it work."
Piper turned to the others.

"Let's go people!"

Losider, Melui, Piper, and Legolas all sat on the seat of the sleigh.
Fili and Kili shifted uncomfortably on the floor, Es sat between Piper and Legolas while Frodo sat between Losider and Melui.

Fabulous groaned at the extra weight.
"You can do it Fab! Meh Meh!"
Foe Hammer flew in front of her.
Fabulous pawed the ground in determination.

Without warning she raced off through the woods sending snow flying behind her.

Foe Hammer sighed, "She's fabulous Meh Meh...."

He shook himself out of his daze and flew after them.

That's when Frodo remembered ThunderPuff.

"So guys? Where's Lindir's cat?"

Fili and Kili glanced at each other.

"Right... We forgot to mention that."
Fili shifted nervously.

"What?"
Frodo asked.

Meanwhile

ThunderPuff sat on an icy balcony overlooking the frozen wasteland called Narnia.

Soon it will all be mine....
He thought.

All mine....

*cue evil laugh*

*three minutes pass*

*end evil laugh*

I shall rule this world, and then.... On to Middle Earth!

----

Bet you guys didn't see that coming! Just wait until the others hear about it.
Hehehehehe....
By the way, since this will be over soon I am giving you guys a choice.
Which I am not announcing yet BUT your guy's descion will change the course of history!
Ok probably not...
But it will be important!

I'm out