Lord Of The Rings: Tales of Random Craziness And Humor

Map Montage Problems

"Let me-ow-get this-ow-straight-ow-Thunder-ow-Puff-ow-is-ow-a-physco-ow?-"
Frodo asked.

"Yes-ow-he-ow-is-ow"
Fili replied.

"Can we-ow-please quit-ow-riding-ow-over these-ow-rocks-ow?"
Kili pleaded.

"Well we can't help it if all the snow melted."
Esmerelda was sitting on Fabulous and urging the elk to go faster.

"Why-ow-don't we-ow-walk-ow."
Losider suggested.

"Agreed."
Esmerelda stopped Fabulous and everyone got off.

"I wonder why it turned spring all of a sudden?"
Piper watched as a flock of birds flew by.

"I found your family Foe Hammer."

"Meh Meh. Those birds are not my family. Meh Meh"

"Do you even have a family? You know a mommy flying goat, a daddy flying goat?"
Kili asked.

"Meh Meh I don't know what happened to them. Meh Meh I think they gave me up for adoption Meh Meh."

"Because of the flying?"
Melui asked.

"Meh Meh. No. It was the way I spoke to them Meh Meh. They thought it was annoying how I said Meh Meh all the time. Meh Meh."

"Well that makes since."
Losider rolled his eyes.

Who knew goats could be so cruel?

"How far are we to this ice castle Es?"
Legolas asked.

"If we're going the right way we should be there in an hour."
She replied as she unhitched Fabulous from the sleigh.

"Wait a minute, what do you mean 'If we're going the right way?'"

Esmerelda rolled her eyes at him.

"If we are heading in the right direction we we will arrive shortly. It's not that hard to understand."

"You mean that there's a possibility that we're heading in the wrong direction!?!?"
Losider exclaimed.

"There's a 0.237461837492462947% chance that we are."
Esmerelda smiled in victory as she finally got Fabulous free.

"Great. We're lost, have no transportation, no wifi, no anything."
Losider groaned.

"We have a talking flying goat and an elk named Fabulous.
That's something."
Kili patted Foe Hammer on the head.

"I'm sorry we're lost guys. Everything looks differant without the snow."
Esmerelda sighed and tried to think.

"Can't we use a Map Montage and get there quicker?"
Frodo suggested.

"Yeah I looked into that, turns out you have to actually no your way around the area you're in if you want to use a Map Montage."
Fili said.

"Seriously?"
Kili asked.

"Actually you can still use them but who knows how long it will take, where we will end up, what will happen, what song will be playing in the backround, all that stuff."

"Do we really have a choice at this point?"
Melui sighed.

"Alright then, cue the Map Montage!"
Esmerelda announced.

*A map of Narnia appears faintly on the screen. The eight travelers, Fabulous, and Foe Hammer walk in a straight line of a field. They walk alongside a cliff, over a river, through the woods, take a quick break at StarBucks, and keep walking.*

"This song is weird."
Frodo commented.

Fili smacked him on the back of the head.

"Ow!"

"No talking during a Montage!"

"Sorry."

*They continue to walk. Foe Hammer flies overhead and notices what appears to be an army camped out in a valley.

That's probably not important
Meh Meh

*Esmerelda falls asleep on Fabulous while they walk. Kili falls asleep and is being carried by an unhappy Fili.
A bear comes out of nowhere and chases them through a meadow. Losider pretends to fall asleep and Legolas is forced to carry him.
Frodo wants to say something but is silenced by Fili who smacks him on the head again.
It starts raining, thunder cracks overhead.
Everyone is soaked and awake, except Legolas is not wet and Losider is still pretending to sleep.
Finally Legolas can't take it anymore.

"That's it! I'm done!"
Legolas threw Losider onto the ground.

"Ow!"

"Fili you said that the Map Montage would take us there!"
Piper glared at the dwarf.

"I said that it might take us there. I never said that it would."

"This is great. Juuuussssttttt great."
Frodo collapsed onto the grass.

"We'll never find them. There dead. They will be missed."

Esmerelda kicked him.

"OW!"

"NEVER SAY DIE!!!"

"I said 'dead' not 'die.'"

"Oh no you two are not starting this."
Melui pushed them apart.

Now everyone was arguing.

Foe Hammer made his way over to Fabulous who was, well, being fabulous.

"Uh... Hey Fabulous Meh Meh some adventure huh? Meh Meh"

Fabulous said nothing.

"So... Meh Meh do you wanna, I don't know Meh Meh maybe when this is over Meh Meh you and I could Meh Meh hang out or something? Meh Meh."

Fabulous blinked.

"Is that a yes? Meh Meh."

She stamped her hoof and snorted.

"Right Meh Meh I'll just go and Meh Meh you know Meh Meh see ya later. Meh Meh."

Foe Hammer trotted away.

Stupid stupid stupid Meh Meh!

Meanwhile the arguing had died down when a blue police box suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
A strange man stepped out and quickly greeted them.

"Hello! I'm the Doctor, and I need you all to come with me immedietly!"

"Doctor what?"
Losider scratched his head.

"Doctor who?"
Esmerelda stared at him curiously.

"No time to explain! Just get in here. Quickly!"
He ushered them towards the TARDIS.

"There's no way we're all going to fit in that thing- Ok here we are."
Losider stared in disbelief at the inside of the TARDIS.

Piper noticed that they were not the only ones in the TARDIS.

"Hey guys? There's freaks in here."

"I'm not a freak. I'm Batman."

The Doctor groaned and rubbed his forehead.

This is going to be a loooooonnnnggggg day.

----

Just when the twists couldn't get any twistyer, and the randomness couldn't get any randomer, I had to throw the Doctor in.
Anywho, you're all probably wondering what my question was, well you still have to wait to know what it is.

I'm out.