Embrace the Suck (Bad, #1)

Chapter One

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Damn it.

Ihinagis ko ang phone sa ibabaw ng kama at matapos ay sunod na ibinagsak ang katawan. Tinakpan ko ang mukha gamit ng dalawang kamay at ngumiwi.

I have already predicted this. I knew very well that this could happen, but I guess I just hoped that it'd turn out different. That he'd be different.

I had high hopes for him. He's a smart and rational guy. He's a dean's lister for God's sake, and I really thought that his academic status solidifies that he's a decent human being. At sa limang buwan naman na naging boyfriend ko siya, hindi niya ako binigo.

He showered me with attention—just like how my many exes did. He was sweet. He adored me. He treated me with respect. Aside from not being a morning person and a few other annoying things, he's basically flawless.

He's all of that until... I couldn't help but groan out loud.

"Oh, 'di pa rin sumasagot si Ethan mo?" rinig kong tanong ni Oliver, but he prefers to be called Olivia.

Ethan... Ethan is my twenty-fifth attempt of having a long-term boyfriend. Iyon nga lang ay kahit anong subok ko ay palaging nagiging short battery life ang bawat relationship na nagkakaroon ako.

I removed my hands off of my face and quickly sat up. I scowled, more annoyed than depressed.

Tiningnan ko siya na nakaupo sa sahig. Katabi niya si Nina na nakasandal sa kama at nakatutok sa pinapanuod na horror movie.

"Hindi pa rin," angil ko. Ibinaba ko ang mga mata sa phone at nangangating ibato iyon sa pader sa nararamdaman na pagkainis.

Nina snorted from the floor. Her eyes were still on the screen as she filled her mouth with popcorn. "At hindi na rin tatawag yun. You know the drill when it comes to your relationships, Kenna."

"I know." Umirap ako. Napatingin ako sa kamay ko at biglang bumigat ang pakiramdam.

I know very well how my relationship works. It doesn't last. No matter how hard I try to keep them. Nothing lasts with me.

"Awee, babe." Tumayo si Oli mula sa sahig at umupo sa tabi ko. Hinila niya ako palapit sa kanya at niyakap. "You dodged another one of many bullets with him that you should be one of the cast in Matrix."

Umungol na lang ako at tumawa naman siya bago nagsalita ulit. "Look at the brighter side, makakapagsuot ka na ulit ng heels kasi hindi na siya maiilang na magka-height kayo."

"At hindi mo na rin kailangan magpanggap na mahilig kang manuod ng boring na documentaries kagaya niya," sabat ulit ni Nina na nakaharap pa rin sa pinapanuod.

Marahan na inilayo ni Oli ang katawan ko mula sa kanya. Nagtaas siya ng kilay sa akin. "And it's not like you loved the guy."

No. I didn't. I never really felt anything romantic towards any of my exes. I liked and cared for them in a way, but the real reason why I was really with them is because I love having someone's affection and undivided attention. I crave for it. It feels... nice.

Hindi na lang ako sumagot at nanatiling tahimik. Napabuntong hininga si Oli sa tabi ko. Alam kong nakatingin pa rin siya sa akin.