Embrace the Suck (Bad, #1)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Peace.

I can't remember the last time that I've felt this. My mind feels light and there's tranquility in my heart.

Before Saint, I've always been on guard, even when I was in a relationship. I needed to keep a facade because I wanted to be what I thought they wanted me to be, because I didn't want them to leave me. I wondered if I'll ever be loved the way I wanted to be. Now, with him, I feel a little secured.

The morning after the night we shared, a part of me was afraid to wake up. I knew how my past relationships worked. Palaging may expiration date. All of them tend to disappear after getting intimate with me. I stared at him for the whole day like an idiot, waiting for him to vanish into thin air but he didn't. Kinailangan ko pang palipasin ang araw na 'yon para maniwala na hindi siya mawawala. He stayed when everyone else left.

I'm no longer haunted by thoughts that I'm gonna be left behind because I'm not enough. I wasn't afraid anymore. I was braver than I used to. I guess this is what love can do to you. It could make you weak, but it can also make you feel invincible.

My family never attempted to reach out. Hindi ko rin naman sila hinanap. Kahit lungkot ay hindi ko naramdaman. I have Saint and my two best friends who greeted me over a video call. That's more than enough for me.

Pati nga kay Shadow ay nakipag-video call kami. Saint's the one who called Art, not to greet his friend but to have a look at Shadow.

We stayed in the resort until the twenty-seventh. Bumalik din kami kinabukasan dahil plano namin i-celebrate ang New Year kasama ang mga kaibigan. Saint introduced me to his other friends at a party in a hotel rooftop. Hindi rin kami nagtagal dahil may New Year tradition kami nila Nina at Oli sa Tagaytay. This year, we spent it with Saint. Kasama rin si Shadow.

I didn't know that it was possible for me to attain this level of happiness. I thought I was gonna die without knowing how it feels to be loved. Now, that I know firsthand how it feels, I don't know if I can ever live without it again—if I can live without him again.

I was happy in our own bubble. I enjoyed the rest of the holidays break with him. Hindi na nga siya umuuwi sa kanila. Hindi na kailangan dag marami na siyang mga damit at sapatos sa bahay ko at kumpleto na rin ang mga toiletries at iba pa.

Tinanong ko nga siya kung hindi ba siya hinahanap. He just said wala pa ang family niya dahil sa ten pa ang pasukan. He said they'll be home on the ninth.

Natigil ako sa iniisip nang tumunog ang phone ko para sa isang text message.

Saint:
Hey baby, I'm here at the juice bar.

He didn't bother to come up. Paniguradong binibili niya ako ng smoothie. It became his thing whenever he picks me up from the gym.

I left the locker room and headed to the juice bar below the gym. It was a small place, kaya pagkapasok ko ay tanaw ko agad si Saint na nakatayo malapit sa counter. He's holding my smoothie on one hand. Sunod na lumipat ang tingin ko sa babaeng nakatayo malapit sa kanya.

She's hot. Based on her attire, she's either going to the gym or she just finished working out. They were both looking at each other. Saint's eyebrows were slightly furrowed while the girl was wearing an alluring smile. Even the blind can see that she's interested in him.

If I was the old Kenna, I would have let him flirt with her, 'cos I was told that Saint was a flirt. I would have stopped myself from being possessive and let my insecurity swallow me whole, but he's mine now and what's mine is mine.

Hindi pa ako nakakalapit ay napalingon na si Saint sa gawi ko. I don't know if he sensed me coming or what. Mukha na naman siyang manununtok sa suplado niyang mukha. Lalo na nang makita ako.