chapter seventeen

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Author's Note: For some reason, only half of this chapter published, so here it is again.

Silence. That's what follows. Days and days of pure silence. He doesn't even look at you now. He was right, the love that you felt for him would hurt you someday. You knew that he was right, you just didn't know that it would be so soon. He doesn't love you anymore. It's your fault his family is dead. The thought makes your stomach twist with nausea.

You and Hiro don't go back go the attic in the funeral home. He takes you to a small rental house on the edge of town. It's far away from where Tadashi said that Fred guy's place was, but you're pretty sure that Hiro isn't even going anymore.

You're sitting on the dusty blue couch in the middle of the living room, absentmindedly carving out pieces of the wooden coffee table. Hiro is rummaging through the cabinets for probably the millionth time. Your stomach growls. "There isn't any food," you tell him. "We're gonna have to go on a run." Hiro shuts the cabinet roughly. You look up as he grabs his backpack and storms out of the house. "Hiro, wait-"

He's already gone. You sigh and fall back onto the couch, your eyes taking in every detail of the wooden ceiling. In your head, pictures of everyone you've lost flash by. Mom, Dad, Annabell, Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Cass, Tadashi...

The list keeps getting longer. How long until Hiro's on there, too?

You shut your eyes and press your fists against them. You try your best to relax, but you can't. You should've gone with Hiro to wherever he went. Now he's out there and you don't know if he's okay.

Time isn't something you can keep track of anymore, but you must've been laying there for over an hour before Hiro walks back in. You sit up and look at him. His eyes widen, as if he's genuinely surprised that you're still here.

"Hiro," you breathe, getting off of the couch. "Are you okay?"

He nods and looks down. You watch him rummage through his bag and pull out a jar of green olives.

"Is this all you found?" you ask, slight disappointment in your voice. He then pulls out a dead bird. Your eyebrows rise in surprise. "Okay, I'll start up the fireplace."

That night, you sit across from Hiro, the jar of green olives in the middle of your two plates. It feels good to have a dinner that was warm and not only a can of vegetables. But the bird is small, and even though the bones on your plate are picked clean, you still find yourself searching for meat.

When there's nothing left, you pick up both of the plates and dump them in the sink. There's a pile of filthy dishes that never got washed before San Fransokyo was deserted. "Night," you say, turning towards the bedroom. There was only one, so Hiro has been sleeping on the couch.

You curl up on the right side of the bed and watch the sun set behind the trees. Once it's pitch black, you shut your eyes. They pop right back open as the bed dips and creaks under another person's weight. You gasp and sit up quickly.

"Why'd you stay?" he whispers.

You're taken aback. He hasn't spoken a word in over a week, and now he's asked you this random question. "U-Um because I made a promise."

"To him or to me?"

"Both of you."

He takes a sharp intake of breath. "You were going to let me kill you."

"Yes," you whisper.

"Why?"

"Because I made a promise to protect you," you answer. "And if that meant that I had to let you kill me so you would feel safe..."

"That's crazy," he says.

"Maybe it is," you mumble.

Hiro sighs and grabs your hand. You nearly jump back in shock. "You think that I don't love you," Hiro says, anger and passion clear in his voice, "but that isn't true. I love you, ___, I just-"

"You blame me," you say. "I know."

"No!" he exclaims in horror. "Did you really think that I blamed you?"

"Yes-?"

"___, I blame myself. I couldn't save my aunt, I couldn't save my brother, a-and when I lost him, I held a gun to your head. I wanted to kill you, and I don't know why." His breathing picks up in panic. "I-I'm sorry, ___. I never wanted you to be in danger, but I was the danger."  He lets go of you and drops his face in his hands. "I just... I don't know what to do."

"Live," you answer simply.

"Huh?"

"For Tadashi," you continue, "for Aunt Cass. They wouldn't want you to be miserable. They want you to be strong and live your life." You reach out and grab his wrist. Gently pulling his hand from his face, you whisper, "It's what I want."

He sighs. "You don't hate me? I mean, I totally understand if you do because I held a gun to your head-"

"I love you," you interrupt. You lift yourself onto your knees and throw your arms around Hiro. "I love you, and it's too late for you to leave me now."

His hands hesitantly meet at your back. "I-I love you, too."

"You can't leave me," you whisper, your entire body quivering in fear.

"I won't," he promises. "W-What brought this on?"

"Everyone I've ever loved has died in the last six months." You pull back. Hiro shifts, gently tugging you over until you're sitting in the space between his legs. "I'm sixteen; normal sixteen year olds shouldn't have to deal with the pain of losing friends and family like this."

Hiro shakes his head. "The world isn't normal," he whispers. "And we're not normal sixteen year olds because of it." You look down at your lap and bite your lip. Hiro sighs and lays his cheek against your shoulder. "___... I can't promise you everything. I can't promise that I'll be here forever or that I'll be able to save the world, but I can promise that I will protect you until the day I die."

You smile a little and slowly move your arms to wrap around his waist. You lean forward and place your head on his chest. He rubs his hands up and down you back. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me," he whispers. "Thank you for bringing me back from... from wherever I've been for a week. I-I'll never forgive myself for what I've done to you, and I'll do anything to fix it."

"Just don't let go," you beg. You pull away from him and lay back down against the stack of pillows. You grab the sleeves of his hoodie and pull him down until he's laying next to you. His hands grab your waist and pull you against him. You curl up beside his form and shut your eyes. "Don't let me go."

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