chapter nineteen

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"I guess we should leave before sunrise," Hiro says as he hands you a can of beans. "Fred's mansion is pretty far out."

"Hiro, we're running out of supplies. We need food, water, and I could really go for a new shirt or something."

"No big deal," he says. "We'll do a quick look 'round the city." He leans against the back of the couch and puts his arms behind his head. Closing his eyes, he says, "I'll take first watch. You should get some sleep."

"I can stay up," you say, but you know it's a lie. Your eyelids are still heavy, even though you slept so long the night before. You just haven't been sleeping well. This was a stranger's house. Every night, you stared up at that dusty ceiling for hours. Who lived here? A married couple? Did she watch her husband get torn to pieces in front of her? Did she lose a child? A mom? A best friend? Did she lose herself along the way?

Am I losing myself?

Hiro shakes his head and sits up. One arm snakes around your waist. His lips fall close to your ear. "I can tell that you're still tired. Seriously, go on. I'll wake you up when the sky gets lighter."

You look over at him and smile sadly. "Are you sure?"

He gently grabs your chin. "Positive." He grins before giving you a quick kiss on the lips. "I love you."

"Love you more." You kiss him again and stand up. His hand grabs yours and squeezes it tightly. You hand him the can of beans. "Here, you eat the rest since I'll be sleeping. I hate the taste of them, anyways."

"What? ___, the apocalypse is no time to be picky," he scolds you lightly.

"Mm, too bad. Can't help it." You laugh softly and release his hand. "Night."

"Goodnight." He smiles at you and relaxes back on the sofa, watching you as you disappear into the hallway.

The room is too dark for you to sit alone, but you don't have the option to use up a match. You found a box in the cabinet when you arrived, but it was damp and had only two usable ones. You gulp as you curl up into the center of the bed. You pull your legs up against your chest. What if a creeper is under the bed? What if it grabs you? You whimper and pull the blanket over your face.

Okay, focus. Focus on the rain that hits the window. Focus on breathing. Slow, calm. Everything is okay. No one else is here. The rain, the rain is calming. Focus on the drips. Focus-

You take a deep, calming breath and shut your eyes.

Boom!

You gasp and shoot up, tumbling off the bed and looking around. The lightning flashes outside of the window. Another crack of thunder quickly follows. You scramble to your feet and throw up the door, your entire body shaking in fear. "H-Hiro!"

As soon as you turn into the living room, he's on his feet, starting toward the hall. His hand is on the knife that is always in his belt, ready to help you. The thunder rolls again, racking through the house. You slam into his body without even noticing, a small shriek escaping your throat.

"What happened?" he demands, his hands grabbing your shoulders. He suddenly turns around, pushing you behind his body. "Did a creeper get in? Oh gosh, are you bit? Scratched?" You're sobbing to the point of not being able to even breathe. You open your mouth, but no words come out. "___, please talk to me!"

"N-No," you choke, your hands holding onto his arm for dear life.

He looks back at you in confusion. "Then what is it?"

You're suddenly ashamed. Here Hiro was, thinking you were in danger, ready to either sacrifice himself or save your life, and it was all just your irrational fear. "It was... it was just the thunder. It scared me." You look down and wrap your arms around yourself tightly. Your entire figure is still quivering in fear.

Hiro lets out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God." He pulls you against his chest, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close. "I thought you were attacked. I was so afraid."

"I'm sorry," you whimper.

"No, don't be. We're all afraid of things. I'm just glad that you're okay." He kisses your hair and looks down at you.

"I-I don't wanna sleep in there by myself," you say.

"Okay. Okay, that's fine." He wraps his arms protectively around your waist and helps you to the couch. He sits on the end and pulls you next to him. You lay your head on his lap, your arms wrapping around his torso. "I'll be right here. Just sleep."

Another roll of thunder makes you flinch. Hiro grabs the throw off the back of the couch and drapes it over you. "When I was little," you start, "my mom would aways come into my bedroom everytime it was storming. I was always deathly afraid of it. She would sing to me and play with my hair until I fell asleep." You smile sadly. "I really am sorry that I scared you. I just... I couldn't calm down. It caught me off guard."

"Don't worry about it. We all have fears. They might seem silly, but..." He sighs. "I'm kind of afraid of fire. And the dark, but just a little bit."

You laugh softly. "The dark?"

"I don't remember my parents. I don't remember them dying, or saying goodbye, but I do remember Tadashi shutting me out of the room. He would leave me alone in the bedroom while he cried in the bathroom. I wouldn't ever leave his side, so I would lay there. All day. I would eventually doze off and wake up when it was dark. Man, would I scream... Tadashi would come out then. I don't know, the dark reminds me of how my brother used to feel. How I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. I wanted to be like him. I wanted to remember my mom and dad more than anything, but there was nothing. And Tadashi grieved alone."

You swallow and look up at him. His eyes are on the ceiling. You grab his hand and pull it to your face, gently pressing a kiss to the top of his hand. He looks down at you and smiles a reassuring smile. You close your eyes and hold his hand against you. His other hand goes to the top of your head. When his fingers move slowly and gently across the top of your head, gently massaging your scalp, you're reminded of your mom. It's a comforting feeling that reminds you of what once was. Still, you wouldn't trade this life now for the one you had before. Hiro is amazing. He is everything you could've asked for in a companion, friend, and a boy friend. You're comforted as you start to doze off.

By the time you start to completely fall under, you realize that this is the safest you've felt in months.

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