Hoodwinked | Calum Hood AU

43.

It could almost pass as the most normal dinner ever. 

"Calum, can you please pass the garlic bread?" Luke asks.

Alfie beams at Luke. "Wait until you see Pepper's new tricks." 

Mine and Calum's eyes meet. I smile, "Would anyone like a drink?"

What Alfie doesn't notice, or what I'm hoping he doesn't notice is all the little things. Like Calum muttering "dick" underneath his breath as he passes the bread to Luke. And me sliding my phone into Calum's lap before I stand up, with the message 'I didn't know Alfie invited him. I'm sorry' written on the screen.

I don't know why I am apologising. It isn't like I invited Luke, and judging by Calum's demeanour he's not mad at me. He is mad, though. I peer over the top of the open fridge at Calum. He's still throwing invisible daggers across to Luke, who's listening to Alfie talk about Pepper.

I pour us all a drink of lemonade, secretly wishing I could throw a dash of vodka into mine. I understand why Alfie invited Luke, but why would Luke accept? What is it inside of his warped boy-brain that made him believe coming over for dinner would be a good idea?

Alfie's still talking, obliviously filling the awkward silence as I distribute the drinks. "Maybe Dad will let me get a friend for Pepper next year. So she's not lonely when I'm at school."

"You're only at school for 6 hours a day," I tell him gently. There's no way Dad will let him have two dogs. "I'm sure she's okay on her own."

"That's right, bud," Luke agrees. For a moment, I look at his clean shaven face. It's almost like nothing has changed. "And Ruby won't be at school next year, so Pepper won't be as lonely."

"Ruby won't be here at all next year," Alfie answers bluntly. Luke drops his fork and it makes an offensive clang as it hits the bowl of pasta.

"I'm thinking of applying for USU," I say, not quite meeting Luke's eyes. And then for Alfie's sake - so this charade might actually seem realistic - I say, "Remember?"

Luke mumbles something about forgetting, and I remind Alfie that he can't have any cookies unless he eats the rest of his dinner. The four of us finish our food in silence. As soon as Alfie's bowl is empty I jump at the excuse to start clearing the table.

"I'll help you," Calum says, his hand brushing against mine as he takes one of the bowls and puts it in the dishwasher.

"I can help," Luke says flatly. "Alfie, why don't you take Calum outside to meet Pepper?"

Alfie doesn't look thrilled with the idea but he nods, grabbing the bag of dog food on the way out the door, Calum's tall body trailing behind him. The moment the door is closed, I spin around to face Luke.

"Look," I hiss. "You've had dinner, we put on a show for Alfie. Now you have to leave."

"I didn't mean to intrude," Luke says apologetically yet doesn't make an effort to leave. "I didn't know he'd be here."

"You could have said no to Alfie when he asked you over. You could have lied and made up an excuse."

"I couldn't. You know I couldn't."

I snap. "Why not? You easily lied to me, why couldn't you lie to Alfie?"

"It wasn't easy, Ruby." Luke looks angry. If only he knew how I felt. "And I technically didn't lie."

"Maybe you didn't technically lie, but it was Joss." I almost throw the plate I'm holding into the dishwasher. "You didn't think that maybe you should have told me your secret crush was my best friend? You didn't think that you should spill it that you and Joss had been sneaking around behind Michael's back?" Behind my back, too.

"Nothing physical happened between me and Joss while we were together!" His short outburst pauses, as he seems to remember. "Except the night of Ashton's party. We kissed, but that was it."

"Forget about me, how could you do that to Michael? You two have been friends for forever."

His blue eyes look all sad and puppy-like. "Are you really going to USU next year?"

"Don't change the subject."

"I thought I was in love," he says abruptly.

I know better to ask but I can't help it. "Thought?"

"I don't know anymore." He looks down at his feet. "I've been a mess, Ruby, ever since Joss's party. I don't know how I feel anymore."

I laugh bitterly. Of course he has the nerve to make this all about him. "You were never in love, Luke. Michael was right. Joss was the one girl you'd never had and that killed you, and now that you've had her you're bored. It's what you do. Once you've had sex with a girl, the thrill is over for you." 

Part of me waits for him to deny that he and Joss have slept together. Instead, he says, "But I never got bored of you."

"I was different."

Luke's eyes grow, like we're finally understanding each other. "Yes, you were." He steps closer. "You were different. I actually cared about you, Ruby. I could never grow bored of you."

I shake my head. "I meant that I was different because you were using me to get someone else. Everything that happened between us was a mistake and a lie."

"Don't say that." He's shaking his head now. "Please Ruby, don't fucking say that. Let me prove to you that you're wrong. Let me prove that I'm not the dick you think I am."

My feet push me forward. "Don't you get it, Luke? You broke me. I thought that you loved me. I thought that Joss was my friend. We spent so long playing make believe but in the end, I'm the one who got played. And it's not just about that. Maybe I can forgive you for being a shitty pretend boyfriend, but I can't forgive you for being a shitty best friend. You were supposed to be my best friend, Luke."

"Didn't you wonder why I was such a wreck after we had sex? I was scared. I knew I was moments away from breaking your heart and I regretted it all so much. I regretted kissing Joss and telling her about my stupid plan, because I realised that night we slept together that I loved you."

"You were scared? Oh, you poor thing," I say sarcastically.

"Don't patronise me when I'm trying to apologise - "

My eyes close. I imagine I'm in the bath, slipping under the water so that all of the words he is saying will get drowned out. I don't want to hear his excuses or explanations. I just want him to leave.

"Please go outside and tell Alfie that you have to go home. I know you two are close and I'm happy for you to come and hang out with him when I'm not around but I can't do this anymore. As far as I'm concerned, you're nothing more than the boy who lives next door."

Luke stops trying to argue, and gives a defeated nod. Before he walks outside I hear him whisper an apology.