Just because I love you. - Phan

What are you doing?!

A/N: Wow I updated finally. Sorry for the wait, I was on holiday for part of last week and I was just too exhausted each night to do anything. But here you go. Enjoy. 

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-Next Day-

This was it. Rope in hand. After today there would be no more bullies, no more abusive fathers, no more pain and no more Phil Lester, the emo fag kid.

Phil approached the tree, holding the thick rope. He’d been practicing all night, he knew how to tie this knot like the back of his hand now, nothing could go wrong. No one would be around to stop him, or hurt him, only himself.

Reaching up to a high branch that he could only just touch, the boy tied the knot that he had learnt too well.

Stepping back, Phil admired his handy work, only to be completed soon, when his neck was in the tie and he was dead.

In a way he felt sorry for the person who would find his lifeless body dangling from a rope, but at the same time he remembered that he was a useless fag that didn’t deserve to exist.

There would only be two people that the raven haired boy would miss, one of them being his mum, she always was so nice to him, they used to curl up on the sofa and watch movies together, before work took over her life, he would always love her. The second person would be Dan. He was still perfect to Phil. Even though, in a way his love for Dan was the reason he was going, he would never forget how perfect he was.

Phil stood on his tip toes, reaching up to the rope and started to slip it over his head. Taking one of his last looks at the earth, how peaceful it looked, but how brutal it was. Then he heard a voice, thinking that it was just his head, Phil carried on placing the rope around his neck.

“Phil?!” the voice called again.

Turning his head, just as the loop was about to slip over, he saw Dan. Dan.

Dan seemed like he had just come out of the woods. He stood there for a second before rushing over.

“Phil? What are you doing?!” he asked

“I’m sorry Dan, I’m sorry for messing up your life. You’ll be better without me.” Phil replied, tears springing to his eyes.

“No, Phil, don’t.” Dan’s voice was trembling.

“Just go Dan, I love you, but it’s better if I’m gone.”

“Shut up Phil! It wouldn’t be better if you’re gone! You’re beautiful and I don’t know why you can’t see that!” the brown haired boy was in tears. He walked towards Phil who had the rope around his neck, and held his hand, “Please…” he cried.

Sighing, Phil used his free hand to release his neck from the rope, and standing down normally next to Dan.

“It’s my fault Phil, I should have said something, not ignored it all this time. I’m sorry.” Dan wailed.

Putting his arm around Dan, and feeling slightly awkward about doing so, Phil rubbed his back. “Shhh… shh… Dan, it’s not your fault, it’s me. I’m an emo fag, and I know that.”

Dan hated how Phil thought that was true of himself. It wasn’t. It was lies.

The brown haired boy fully enveloped Phil in a hug, holding him close, never wanting to let him go. He didn’t deserve to die. He should die. All Dan wanted to do right that moment was hold him until he was better.

Now Phil was crying onto Dan’s shoulder, holding him too. “I’m sorry.” Phil whispered through tears.

To Dan, Phil had no reason to apologise, so he just shook his head on Phil shoulder and held him tighter.

After the two had calmed down, and crying was now at a minimum, Dan asked Phil to go back to his place so they could talk. Although Phil hated the idea that the boy could ask him questions, he agreed, he wanted to be away from his father for as long as possible.

Then the two walked back through the woods, towards their road, and towards Dan’s house.