Tide

Chapter 46

Later that afternoon, I found myself sitting in the living room, staring at the TV.

I kept my gaze fixed on the show, trying to distract myself from the memories spiraling through my head.  The stress; it weighed down on me. I couldn't bear it.

My mother entered the room, standing in front of me with her arms crossed. I glanced at her and said nothing.

"Ava," she began, "you've done nothing all day."

I shrugged, "And your point is?"

"I'm worried about you. If you want we could-"

"Schedule an appointment with Ms. Campbell? No thanks. Look, I know that she-"

"No. I meant that we could talk about it."

"... Oh."

I shifted over and she took a seat next to me on the couch.

"Ava, look... I know this is hard for you. It's hard for me too. But you can't dwell on this forever."

"Have you been seeing Ms. Campbell too? You sound just like her."

She let out a weak laugh, but her smile quickly faded. "I'm just saying, Ava, that we have to move on. What's happened has happened, and there's nothing we can do to change the past."

I released a deep breath. There were lots of things she didn't know. Lots of things she hadn't realized were keeping me from healing. The memories were knives, each one cutting deeper than the last. Isaac's words had been bullets. It was as if I had been trying to ignore all the memories I had been stabbed with, all the stress I had been shot with. The pain was unbearable - impossible to ignore, and impossible to cure.

Someone pushed the doorbell, snapping me out of my thoughts. I got up from the couch and made my way to the door, taking the handle. I twisted it and swung the door open, revealing a familiar face.

Nolan.

He smiled shyly, clearing his shaggy hair from his eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

He pointed behind him. Piper stood in the parking lot next to Colton, grinning and waving. "Um, Piper's-"

"I know... But I told her, I'm kind of busy right now."

Piper rolled her eyes. "Oh please, stop it with the lies. I know you're just moping around. Join us. It'll cheer you up."

I sighed and turned around. "Mom?" I called. "I'm going to hang out with my friends."

--------

The theater wasn't crowded; we had gotten there early. Nolan sat next to me. Piper arrived with Colton, a large bag of popcorn being carried in her arms. 

"Popcorn?" she offered, taking a seat next to us. 

I shook my head.

She shrugged, taking a handful of it and shoving it into her mouth.

Nolan turned to me, "How come you weren't at school?"

"I was sick."

"Oh. You feeling better now?"

"Yeah, thanks for asking." I offered him a smile.

The curtains curled away from the screen and the lights dimmed. The screen lit up.

The movie was long. I could barely focus.

There was this scene that took place by the ocean. My stomach instantly dropped. I felt sick and looked away. It evoked memories; the day at the beach, when the wave struck, when the wall of water ripped away everything—

"You okay?" Nolan said. A sudden warmth brushed over my hand, his fingers lacing with mine.

Nolan was holding my hand.

I flinched and out of pure instinct, retracted mine away. His face turned bright red. My heart sunk instantaneously.

"I'm sorry, I-I just..." I clamped my mouth shut and took his hand. I glanced at him and caught his stare, feeling blush climb up my face.

"You okay, Ava?"

"Y-Yeah... I'm fine. It's just..." I glanced at our hands and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. 

What was I going to say? That water was a trigger? That I got this crushing feeling that something awful was going to happen every time  I was reminded of 2004? 

I pressed my lips together, breathing in and out, then saying, "I'm sorry."

"What's wrong?"

I glanced at him and put on a smile. 

"Nothing. I'm fine."