Tongue Tied *UNDERGOING EDITING*

15. What Am I To You?

Ariel's POV

Luke stays there, his finger under my chin, staring into my eyes. I can't draw my focus away from him. He can't draw his focus away from me. Five more inches and....

Stop it, stop it right now. You have Dylan who treats you right and you do not need Luke who doesn't treat you the way you deserve. 

But I can't move.

Suddenly, Luke's phone goes off halfway across the room, causing our attention to be broken away from each other. His hand leaves my chin and he gets up to go retrieve his phone. I sigh inaudibly and watch as he paces back and forth, talking on his phone.

I adjust my sitting position and start to spread out our project stuff. Luke leaves his room, still on the phone, so I lean back against his bed. I look around his room from my seat, scanning his walls, his dresser, and eventually getting up to look at his desk.

I sift through his school textbooks to find that there's really nothing there but some papers and other things. I find his draft of his report and begin to read, sort of amazed at the way the words flow smoothly and the sentences fit together. Luke understood the book more than I thought he would, which doesn't sound too good. 

The door swings open and I watch as Luke looks to where I was sitting before, and then sees me standing over his desk, reading his report. "Sorry...I-I didn't mean to snoop." I say, gently setting down his report and walking back over to Luke.

"Don't worry about it." he says, and for some reason, these words make me melt. Or blush. Or both. God I hope he doesn't notice. Wow, I sound like an actual head-over-heels in love teenager.

And it's creeping me out.

I sit back down in front of Luke and we begin finishing the book cover. "How's your report coming along?" he asks after a while of silence. I look up from my portion of the cover which still needs to be colored and stare at him, not finding the words I need to speak. "Oh, um, its-its coming along nicely, I guess." I stutter out.

Oh my Lord. I am so stupid.

"That's good. How did you like mine?" he asks. "It was actually really good." I say. "Actually? Did you think it would be bad?" he asks, looking up at me again. Oh no. "Um, no not really. I just didn't really expect it from you." I say, swallowing hard. "Nobody really expects anything from me." he says quietly. "That's not true." I say quickly. He looks up at me but doesn't say anything.

"You don't know anything, Ariel. You don't know what its like. You're smart and kind and funny and..." he stops himself quickly, leaving me to wonder what he would have said if he'd continued. "And what?" I ask before I can stop myself. "Looking for compliments, are we?" he asks, cracking a smile. I smile too and laugh a little.

"No, just interested in what you were saying. And its not true. You are smart, and people are stupid if they judge you otherwise." I say, looking back down at the project. I could continue, saying how funny he is and how adorable he is when he frowns. I could say that people judge him because of the way he's treated girls before, like they don't have feelings. I could say that I used to judge him that way. I could also say that I may still judge him like that a little, but the real him is starting to break through.

But instead, I just sit there, keeping my focus on the book cover.

The rest of the afternoon is silent.

~-~-~-~-~

"I'm sorry, Ariel. I'm not gonna be in school tomorrow. I just feel nauseous all the time and I'm getting really bad headaches constantly. My mom's taking me to the hospital tomorrow." Zoey says to me over the phone two days later.

She's been really sick lately.

Headaches, nausea, and she's forgetting things.

"I hope you feel better." I say quietly while trying to asses her symptoms in my head. What could she possibly have that's been making her so sick? 

"Thanks. I have to go, I'm feeling dizzy and nauseous again." she says, and the line goes before I can even say goodbye. I toss my phone aside and resume typing my paper.

The book gives a new perspective on the lives of others and is personally very moving, I type, but this must be the fifth time I've written it. Backspace, rewrite. Backspace, rewrite. Its like a pattern. I can't focus on anything. My mind keeps wandering off to Zoey...and Luke. I can't get him out of my head.

And its killing me.

I told myself from the beginning of the year, no wait, from the first time that I laid my eyes on Luke Mason that I would never fall for someone like him. Someone as arrogant and rude as he was. As he is.

But that doesn't seem to matter to me anymore because I've seen some sides of him that I never would have expected.

There I go, sounding sappy and like I actually understand him. Which I don't. I barely know him even though we've been working together for the past month and a half and have known each other since elementary school. Well, since I knew him. He never knew I existed. I was always just Ariel Lewis to him. Just another face in the class picture.

But what am I to him now?

That I may never know. I stand up and walk downstairs to the kitchen. Cameron is off searching for job offers and has been all morning. My mom and dad are out at work, and my school has the day off. Which leaves me stuck at home with nothing to do except think about Luke.

And I don't know if I want to think about him anymore. He's giving me a headache. I grab something out of the fridge without even checking who's it is or what it is, more importantly. I think its an apple. But why would someone put that in the refrigerator?

I take a bite. Yup, that's an apple. And its freezing.

I take the apple to the kitchen counter and sit down. It seems that the only thing that is keeping me occupied and not thinking about Luke is my cell phone. And the fact that I have my unfinished, unsaved paper upstairs. Play on my phone or type paper that's due this week? I really should type my paper, but...

I finally drag my butt off the stool and upstairs to finish typing my paper. After all, I'm nearly done with it. I sit in the chair and watch the cursor blink about a hundred times before some inspiration finally comes and I'm able to type a lot more. Now the only thing that's left is the closing paragraph....

I type out the closing paragraph, and lean back in my seat. I'm finally done. Luke and I just need to get together once more and the project is done. We're almost done.

We're almost done.

The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. After this project, Luke won't have any more reason to talk to me. Then we'll graduate and I'll never see him again.

Why does this make me sad? I shouldn't be upset about this. I told myself that it would be better once I didn't have to talk to him anymore.

But that was before I started liking him.

I can't deny it anymore. I don't think I want to anymore. But that doesn't mean I'm going to go off telling everybody and their brother.

No freaking way.

No one can know. Not even Cameron. And I tell him everything. Luke Mason will never know my true feelings towards him. 

I pull my hair back in a ponytail and go relax on my bed for a while and play on my phone, online shopping for prom dresses.

Prom.

Is Dylan going to ask me? Will Zoey be well enough to go? I absolutely cannot go without her.

So, for the rest of the day, I relax and play on my phone and look at dresses, hoping this stupid thing with Luke will dissolve on its own.