Tongue Tied *UNDERGOING EDITING*

18. Not Your Girlfriend

Ariel's POV

Brain tumor?

Brain tumor.

My best friend has a fucking brain tumor.

Oh my God.

"What?" Mrs. Chambers speaks out quietly. My attention is brought from the doctor over to her. She grips Zoey's hand tightly, tears streaming down her face. How could this have happened? She was fine! She went to that stupid party and she came to school and she was fine!  And now she has cancer?

I bring my legs up to my chest and hug them tightly, as though they are my only form of support. If I let go, I will fall and might not be able to get up again. She could die. My best friend could die. And right now, I don't give a shit if someone sees me cry. Because I'm going to cry now, and hold my best friend's hand while she fights probably the toughest battle of her life.

She's only 17. She can't go like this. She can't go this soon. She hasn't even graduated high school yet.

"Will she wake up?" I ask suddenly. The doctor looks over at me but pauses before answering. "She should. Her seizure did put her unconscious, but it would be very unlikely for her to not wake up." he says. Does he sound nervous? Unsure? I don't know what in particular, but I know its not sure. He doesn't sound sure of himself. And now, more than ever, I need someone to be sure of something.

I nod my head and look back at Zoey. "Please wake up soon, Zo. I need you to wake up soon." I whisper. And as a joke, I add "I need you to tell me what dress to buy for prom." with a small laugh at the end. Nothing.

My laugh soon turns into tears and I find myself with my head down again. The doctor talks a bit more about Zoey's condition to her mom and then starts talking about different treatments for the cancer. The first option is chemo, which would cause Zoey to become very sick and lose all her hair. I pretty much tune out all of the other answers, but I know that Zoey's mom is leaning toward the chemo. She just wants to tell Zoey when she wakes up.

At 11:00, the nurses kick us out because visiting hours ended an hour ago. Mrs. Chambers stays in a cot set up next to Zoey's bed. Before I leave, I promise Zoey that I'll be there tomorrow after school. Then Luke leads me outside to his car. I don't resist because I'm too tired to argue to push him away. In fact, I really need someone here with me right now.

The drive home consists of another one of me and Luke's famous awkward silences. I'm pretty sure that's because he doesn't know what to say. And he's also probably worried that if he starts to talk I'll burst into tears. So he plays it safe and keeps his mouth shut. That's probably his best bet.

I press my head against the cool glass of the window and watch the rain drops race each other down the window. The trees and things go past in a giant green blur, and the only thing I can focus on is the rain drops. My eyes close and everything goes quiet. I can't hear anything, which actually feels kind of nice right now.

I keep my eyes closed, which must make Luke think I'm asleep. I feel the car stop and when his door opens, I can suddenly hear things again. I feel my car door open, but Luke's arms are there to keep me from falling out. He reaches across me and unbuckles my seat belt. He slips his arms under me and lifts me out of the car. What is he doing? 

He's carrying me inside. 

I keep my eyes closed and tuck my head into his chest. He knocks on the door quietly and I open my eyes for a split second to see Luke turn back to me and look at me sweetly. I snap my eyes shut and I don't think he notices. I hear the door swing open and Luke must tell whoever is there to stay quiet, because I only hear whispers.

"Zoey's real sick so we went to visit her at the hospital. I brought Ariel home, I'm sure she'll tell you more about it when she wakes up." I hear Luke whisper. "Thanks man." a voice that I think belongs to Cameron says. I feel another pair of arms underneath me and suddenly I'm inside and the door's closing. Even though I'm still wrapped in my brothers safe and strong arms, I feel cold after I leave Luke's presence.

Cameron pulls me closer to him and I push my face into his tshirt, which smells like him: comforting, warm, and kind of like cookies. He carries me upstairs and into my bedroom, where he pulls my covers over me and tucks me in. He gives me a small peck on the forehead, whispers "Goodnight, sis." and then leaves my room, closing the door with a quiet click.

I don't open my eyes and get up to change or anything, I'm too comfortable. Instead, I just stay wrapped up in my blankets and fall asleep, thoughts of Zoey and Luke swirling around in my head.



~-~-~-~-~



The next morning, I pull back the covers gingerly and climb out of bed. The fact that our project is due today and I still feel like an emotional mess is not helping the situation. I go to the bathroom and shower, then change into a tshirt and jeans. I brush out my hair and side braid it, then put on my daily school makeup.

I go downstairs to get an apple or some sort of fruit for breakfast, like its a normal day. I check my phone as I bite into my breakfast and see no calls or texts from anyone. While scrambling around for my backpack, Cameron shows up in the doorway of the living room. He leans one side of himself up against it and crosses his arms. "Hey Ariel." he says. I look up at him and he walks over to me and wraps me in a hug.

"Luke brought you home last night. He said Zoey was really sick and that you went to the hospital." he says into my hair. I nod. "I know." I say and he pulls away. "You know?" he asks, confused. "I wasn't really sleeping." I say and walk past him. "Have you seen my backpack anywhere?" I ask. "Living room." he points to the doorway and the goes upstairs without saying another word.

I walk into the living room only to find that it hasn't been touched since yesterday. I feel tears well up in my eyes as I see the shattered bowl of cold popcorn scattered on the floor and the couch pillows messed up from where Zoey had been sitting. I walk over to the area where I had laid her down but find nothing. I spot my backpack leaning up against the wall on the opposite side of the room, so I force myself to get up and get it.

I sling it over my shoulder and then leave the house without another word to anyone else. I decide to walk to school today, one because I don't feel like sitting in a quiet car with someone because I'm afraid I'll either start crying or yelling or both. And two because the sun is shining again. You would think, with all these obscure weather changes, that the world was ending.

Everything seems to be going by very slowly; the car's driving by, the birds in the sky, and my pace. But I get to school in the same time I would have if I walked any other day, which just goes to show that its an effect from the shock that should have worn off already. Or at least, I think it should have worn off.

I walk up the steps, people still bumping into me and not apologizing. Whatever, in less than a month, I'll be out of here and they'll never have to see my face again, I say.

I push past some others, not caring if they didn't bump into me or not. I just want to get through this day. I run into Luke standing at my locker. "Hey Ariel." he says. "Hi Luke." I say nonchalantly while getting out my textbooks.

"I talked to Ms. Brooks about Zoey and our project." he says, but doesn't continue on.

"And?"

"She said we didn't have to present our project until next Monday."

"Great." I say, but it comes out worse than I meant it to. Luke doesn't say anything else, but he doesn't have too. Its awkward for the both of us to talk, and also Dylan's walking towards us, and he looks a little suspicious on why Luke is talking to me. I'm about to apologize but Dylan starts talking. "Hey man." he says once he's next to us.

"Hey." Luke responds quietly while leaning up against the lockers. He doesn't bother to look over at Dylan. "You two OK?" he asks, waving a hand in Luke's face. Luke swats it away as I tuck my books under my arm and close the door, turning my lock a few times to lock it up again. Luke and Dylan swat at each other like two bickering siblings before I turn to them.

"You ready to go?" I ask. "Yeah." Dylan says, and wraps an arm around my waist. Luke walks on the other side of me, not really paying attention to Dylan and I. Or at least I didn't think he was. But I'm proved otherwise when I feel Dylan's hand slide down a little bit and grab my butt. I instinctively rip myself away from him, blushing madly.

"Dylan." I say, surprised. "What?" he asks, a devilish smile replacing his normal one. I'm a little shocked at him, but I shouldn't be. I mean, I knew he was a bit of a flirt. "Don't touch her like that." I hear Luke growl from behind me. All humor leaves Dylan's face as he registers what Luke said. Dylan pushes me aside slightly, but hard enough so that I stumble a little. But that could be all my fault.

"What did you just say?" Dylan growls back, stepping closer to Luke, causing him to be pressed against the lockers.

"I told you not to touch her like that. She deserves respect." Luke says sternly. From the side, I can see Dylan clench his teeth together and his face turn a little red. Not from embarrassment, but from anger. "Don't tell me what to do, she's my girlfriend." he says through closed teeth.

"I'm not your girlfriend."

The words tumble out quicker than I wanted them to. In fact, I'm not sure I even wanted to say them at all. But I they needed to be said. "What?" Dylan asks, his attention focused on me now. He steps back a little from Luke and towards me. People have stopped to watch now, like this has somehow become their business.

"I said I'm not your girlfriend." I repeat, a little stronger this time. "You've never asked me to be your girlfriend, and I'm not so sure I want to be. Luke's right, I deserve some respect." I add, my tone of voice even stronger. And instead of stepping back, I step forward. "I know you're used to girls fawning over you and enjoying when you give them that kind of attention in public, but not me." I say. He just stares at me. While I fight back, I search his eyes for anger or sadness or any kind of emotion. But I guess I'm too nervous.

I don't even now how I'm saying all this stuff, because even if I seem strong and fearless on the outside, I'm screaming for help on the inside. Right now, I'm terrified.

"Alright then. I officially declare you not my girlfriend. Nor will you ever be. Because nobody will disrespect me like that in public and get away with it." Dylan says, sounding like an egotistical jerk. I really don't know what I'm doing. I'm wiping away any chance I ever had of becoming Dylan's girlfriend. I'm sending away my chances of being kissed and held, maybe even loved. Why? Because the person I saw that night at the party is coming out again, and I'm pretty sure he's not drunk this time.

Now I know what I'm doing, and, more importantly, why I'm doing it. "You really are an egotistical asshole." I start, speaking my mind. Out of the corner of my eye, I could swear that I see Luke smiling, just a little. "I don't care what you 'declare' because I'm not affected by your words. If you think you can treat me like that in public, Dylan Carter, you must be mistaken. Because I'm not taking any bullshit from you. And to be brutally honest, I think I am getting away with it." I say with a faker than fake smile.

I walk past Dylan, leaving him pretty much speechless, and to first period, feeling eyes on me the whole time. But this time, I'm pretty sure they aren't looking at me because they think I'm different. This time, they're looking at me because I, the quiet, shy, and tongue tied nerd, just stood up to Dylan Carter about his extremely rude and disrespecting behavior.

And as I walk to my first class of the day, I stand up a little straighter, and my smile's just a little bigger.