"Amelia"

Chapter 4: Home Again

"Mom! I'm home." Amelia shouted after opening the front door. She glanced around the room a few times before deciding that her mom was either asleep, or not home.

Amelia walked past the bathroom and saw that Nicole had left her clothes sprawled across the floor. Knowing her mom would get mad if the house wasn't clean, Amelia bent over to pick them up. She lifted Nicole's jeans and an unused condom fell from its pocket. Amelia grabbed it as if to examine it. She thought for a moment and decided that she would ask Nicole about it later.

"What are you doing going through my stuff?" Nicole asked.

Amelia saw that her eyes were bloodshot and her makeup was smudged. She wasn't sure how to approach the situation, so she just did the best she could.

"Nicole, is this yours?"

"Maybe."

"This is no time to be a smart-alec, Nicole."

"And if it was mine?"

"I'd give you a talk and then send you on your way."

"You wouldn't tell mom?"

"Well, I would kinda have to."

"Good thing it's not mine then. It actually Rachel's. She was having me hold it for her until she came over and then snuck out of our house to see Burke."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"You'd tell me if you were lying, right?"

"Yes. Now, can I have my clothes?"

Amelia reached across and handed Nicole her clothes. Nicole stormed off back to her room, leaving Amelia alone in the bathroom. She quickly got up and walked to her mother's room. She peeked in before realizing that no one was home.

After letting out a sigh of relief, Amelia walked to the bathroom again and retrieved her blood stained towel. She walked quickly to the laundry room and threw it in with a few more sets of white clothes, but not before scrubbing and soaking as much of the blood as she could out of it.

It was a calming ritual, but it now seemed tainted. She spun the dial on the washer before pressing it to start. Amelia walked into her cold room and laid quietly on her bed. She reached into her pocket before realizing that she still wasn't in her own clothes. She was still in Emmy's clothes. Even though they were comfortable, Amelia didn't want to have to explain to her mother where she had gotten the new set of clothes.

Amelia walked to the bathroom with a set of new clothes in her arms. She closed and locked the door before turning on the shower head. She climbed in and felt the cold water attacked her skin. It warmed quickly and Amelia began to wash her hair. It was naturally near black in color, so it startled her when the water pouring from the ends of her hair was red.

It was then that Amelia realized the severity of what had happened that night. She felt her chest begin to tighten. She slowly lowered herself to the floor, for fear of falling there faster than she'd have liked. She hugged her knees to keep from kicking out against the cramps rolling across her body. She knew what was happening, but that didn't make it any less frightening. Amelia was having a panic attack. She had had them before, but not since junior high. She knew that if she just waited it out, her heart would stop pounding, her ears would stop ringing, and she would feel better. Just like cutting; if she just waited, it wouldn't hurt anymore.