"Amelia"

Chapter 17: Freeedom On Silver Wings

No one was home, and for Amelia that was perfect. She walked to her room and grabbed her radio and sat it on the sink in the bathroom. She filled the tub with warm water and left to the kitchen. She grabbed an apple and bit off a chunk as she grabbed some ibuprofen from the top of the fridge. She downed three and took the bottle back with her.

Her favorite station rang through radio static as she walked back to her room and grabbed her new friend. This one was newer; bought just after Emmy died. Her old one was still sitting underneath her dresser. Amelia held it lightly in her hand before walking into the bathroom and locking the door.

Steam was rising slowly from the tub and fogging up the mirror. Amelia slowly stripped from her clothes and looked into the mirror at the shattered body which was left. Scars new and old stretched across her sides. On her wrists was an array of new and red cuts. Her thighs were her favorite; because they held what could have been. Amelia felt across her thighs to spell out a single word, "Dancer."

She stepped slowly into the tub and felt the water burn her newer cuts. Amelia smiled; healing felt great, but she wondered what it would feel like to never have to heal again. It would be peaceful and quiet. Of course, like the cutting itself it would burn and at first she would wonder why she did it in the first place, but if she allowed it time, it would soon make her feel whole again.

She sat in the tub as time passed and three more ibuprofen slid effortlessly down her throat. Amelia watched as the world began to slow and everything became dimmed. She smiled down at her wrists and giggled at the lines which blurred in and out.

As she felt her pulse slow, Amelia wanted to be in control one last time. She reached for the new razor and rubbed it softly.

Amelia pressed it against her warm skin and drug it across quickly before dropping the razor to the floor. It hurt.

For the first time in awhile, Amelia felt the hurt pour down on her. It was terrifying. It was devastating. It was freedom.

Amelia began to cry. She watched as the blood and her tears blended into the bath water. She cried out.

"I'm sorry. Emmy, I'm so sorry!"

She waited for a response and through the radio static she heard

"I'm not even trying-- it's sending me flying--but I can't stop smiling-- do you think about me-- like I think about you--"

In an instant, Amelia jumped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around her body. She opened the door and the steam raced out of the room with her.

Amelia quickly got dressed and fell to the ground. She felt the tears drift down her face and soon enough, she feel asleep there; listening to her guardian angel's final words.

"Love you more, Amelia."