Forever and Always ✔️

Chapter forty - Penelope.

"I know today is going to be a rough day," my dad began, leaning against my doorframe, "but you can always take a day off school."

Zack was the only thing on my mind right now. The way I yelled at him, the way I hurt him and seeing his eyes look at me with pity. I was mad. No, I was more than mad at him. Sure, today was a hard day considering my mother killed herself a year ago but the fact that he wouldn't give me five minutes of space like I was going to be the one to kill myself next.

He needed to let me breathe on my own; he couldn't save me from this. I snapped at him because he needed to know that someone like me needed space. But I hurt him so badly. Pushing everyone away was the only thing I knew how to do and I couldn't stop myself from doing it. These walls were getting bigger and bigger each day and Zack couldn't knock them down like he used to.

I looked up at the ceiling of my room, thinking of what my dad said. I needed to face things and apologise to Zack but I also need to be alone at times like these. "No, I should go. I can't run away from my problems. It's just an ordinary day."

My dad took a seat at the end of the bed with a small yet sad smile. "When did you grow up?"

I looked up at my dad with a blank expression. "I guess when things happen to you, you learn from them."

He nodded. "Okay, get ready for school. You don't want to be late and if anything happens, just call me and I'll be there to pick up the pieces." I didn't feel like anything was going to happen today. I was going to apologise to Zack and we were going to be fine. I needed him in my life and it was hard to keep him there.

"Thanks, dad." I said, "I know you'll always be there."

Once he left my room, I got ready for another day at school. I felt the urge to read over Zack's letters again, to remind myself that he was never going away even though I have hurt him multiple times and even though I had, he still came back to me and I still didn't know why.

*

After arriving at school on time, my stomach began to get butterflies flying around in there like I hadn't even met Zack before but I had and I knew him. Why was I getting these butterflies? Because I was about to confront him and apologise. Every time this happened, I was going to wonder if he would come back to me. After getting hurt so many times by me, would he come back into my arms where he belonged?

Shrugging the thoughts out of my head and my mom, I rushed into the school corridor. I had seen Zack's car in the parking lot so he was obviously here. Forgetting what day it was today is a good thing. I tended to block these types of things out; it just happened.

I scanned the corridor, filled with students, for Zack but he wasn't in my sight. I sighed, really wanting things to be okay between us. I needed things to be okay otherwise I may never be the same again.

In a way, Zack had saved me. After my mom died, I never thought I could ever be this happy and it was never like that with Sean but whenever someone asked me if I was okay, I flipped out and I snapped. That was what happened here, my memory kicked in and I just snapped.

Class didn't start for another ten minutes and I was hoping it was enough time to speak to Zack but instead of seeing Zack, Grayson came into my view. He was mad. No, he was more than mad. I looked around and noticed that he was storming towards me so I ducked into my safe place to hide away.

Turns out, he was looking for me. I paced around the music room, hoping the bell would ring but the door flung open and Grayson stood in my way. "How can you keep doing this?" He yelled, sounding angrier than the day I confronted him in biology.

"Doing what?" I asked, but I knew what he meant.

"You keep hurting him like he doesn't matter! He's not a football you can kick around and hurt, he's a human being and he has a heart." Grayson stared at me, I was speechless beyond compare.

I had to admit, I did admire Grayson for his loyalty towards his best friend. I didn't blame him for hating me, I would hate me too if I was in his position. "I didn't mean to."

My mother popped into my head again, remembering that it was the day she died but it was not an excuse and I wouldn't bring her into this. "I honestly don't know why he keeps running back to you, you break his heart every chance you get. I don't know if it's because you're playing him and you like seeing him hurt or if you're actually enjoying this."

I was shocked by his sudden outburst. He went way too far. "That's not fair, Grayson. You know how much he means to me. Don't you see the way we look at each other? The night in the barn, he kissed me first. He is the one chasing me and I love him for it. He's not giving up and that's one of the reasons why I fell in love with him. He has a kind heart and I wouldn't dream of hurting it but you have to understand that I'm not perfect. I have scars and I have a past and I'm hurt too. I'm trying my best, I really am."

Grayson stared at me as I was breathing heavily. I knew he had trust issues because Molly cheated on him with another guy but every relationship was different. He would get though it but he needed to stay out of mine. "You just don't get it."

"Look," I began, feeling lightheaded at the thought of everything, "I know he's your best friend and I know you're only trying to protect him but this is our battle, not yours."

He seemed to be lost for words as the bell finally rung. I was red in the face, I couldn't feel it. This argument got to me and I might take my dad on his offer.

Grayson sighed, backing out of the classroom. "You really need to sort it out before you lose Zack forever." He left with that statement before I got the chance to say anything else. I took my phone out of my pocket and I dialled my dad's number. He picked up and within ten minutes, he would be coming to take me home.

Away from everything.

*

Dad and I ended up sitting at a lake out of town. It was peaceful here and every once in a while, dad and I did this back in Texas while mom was sick. I watched the blue water sway with the wind and the swans swimming around in circles. "Did I ever tell you how your mother and I met?" My dad smiled, looking out onto the lake.

"Many times." I said softly, picturing the times he told me. He would tell me this story every so often and I never told him to stop, I think he liked telling the story over and over again and it was the anniversary of her death so I wouldn't mind hearing it once more.

"It was summer and we had some new neighbours move in next door to us," he chuckles before continuing, "I had never seen anyone so elegant like your mother. She was the girl every guy stopped and stared at, I fell for her the minute I saw her. One day, she came knocking on our front door and I just happened to be the one answering it. She was mad, saying that our dog kept pooping in their yard and she stepped in it. Only, we didn't have a dog or any animal for that matter."

I pictured the scene as dad told it and he always told it just right, it felt like I was right there with them. "She was too stubborn to apologise so instead, I asked to take her out to dinner and then I'd put it all behind me. She said no at first until she saw my motorbike. She'd never ridden one but she had always wanted to. I taught her how to ride it that evening before dinner, she crashed at first but it wasn't serious and she laughed it off and wanted to ride it again. It all seemed to good to be true when I suddenly kissed her and she kissed me back. We fell in love and we never stopped, not even when she got sick."

The love my father had for my mother was undying. "That's a beautiful story, dad." I said with tears in my eyes. I wished she was here, I really did and I wondered if she hadn't died, would I still be the same person I was today or would I be completely different? We wouldn't have moved to Miami and I wouldn't have met Zack. Sean wouldn't have never broken up with me and I would have never gone to rehab. Things changed over time but I didn't regret moving here for a second. At first, I thought it was a terrible idea. Leaving Madison behind and everything we had there just to start a new beginning but it worked, I was happy and everyone deserved to be happy.

I guess I was ready to find my happiness.