Chapter 11

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Billies POV

Mike drives us home, I'm too distracted to drive. When we pull up someone is sitting on our door step, she stands up and starts walking towards the car. Amanda? No it can't be I haven seen her since 1991 when she dumped me to join the peace corps. I get out of the car "Billie!" She says throwing her arms around me. Mike stands behind her and mouths to me "is that Amanda?" I shake my head.

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Amanda's POV

"Amanda!" a voice says from behind me, i let go of Billie and turn around to see Mike. "Hey Mike!" I say hugging him. "What are you doing here?" Billie asks in an unhappy tone. "I need to talk to you about something...in private."

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Gerard's POV

I miss her so much...when I get home I realize some of her stuff is still here, I start bawling my eyes out when I see her green day necklace on my nightstand. I put it on and never want to take it off.

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Trés POV

I go into her room, it hurts to be in there even though it was my room before...it's so empty without her. I look around and notice things I didn't before, she had a poster of us on her wall along with posters of MCR. I look at the one of us and notice a heart drawn on my cheek, I smile at that and realize she loved me too.

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Billies POV

Mike leaves me and Amanda outside to talk. We sit down on the porch " I haven't seen you since 98...at that bar, where we...ya know" I almost forgot about that! We did it in the bathroom of some bar. "That's right! I thought the last time was 91 when you dumped me...but I guess your right." We both laugh at the memory. Amanda pulls a picture out of her wallet and hands it to me, it's of a little girl who looks about 5 or 6. "That's Amy...I believe she's your daughter."

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Billies POV

"No...that's...she can't be." "What?! Yes she is look at her! Your hair, your eyes!" "That doesn't mean anything! Look Amanda, this is the worst possible time for you to show up and announce this! I just lost the love of my life..." I start thinking of her and close my eyes only to see her in my mind. "Billie, I'm sorry, but this is your daughter. And she knows who you are already, when we see you on tv, she points at the screen and says "there's daddy." Now she's making me feel guilty. "Fine, if you have no doubt in your mind that she's mine, lets do a blood test to prove it."

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Amanda's POV

Of course he wants proof, he couldn't just be happy with the fact that he has a child. "Fine, tomorrow well meet at the hospital..." Billie shakes his head in agreement, I watch his eyes wander away from me and widen in fear.

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Billies POV

I look behind Amanda too see Gerard laying in the middle of the street as a car approaches, I run out in front of him and wave my arms,the car comes to a stop. I help Gerard up off the ground, "why did you stop it!" He cries. "Why are you trying to kill yourself?!" He starts crying and I notice Sara's Green Day necklace around his neck...he wanted to be with her.

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Gerard's POV

"I just can't be with out her." I say. "I know how you feel...look I don't want you alone tonight, do you have someone you can call?" Billie asks. The first person that pops into my head is frank. "Yea...yea ill go call him right now." Billie walks back over to the girl standing in his drive way and says goodbye to her. I call frank, i tell him I need to talk, and ask him to come over.

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Franks POV

I feel so bad for Gerard, he hasn't called any of us or anything since Sara died, I only met her once but they were perfect together. As I'm sitting with the guys in the studio my phone rings, it's Gerard! "Gee?" "Yea, hey Frank,I...I just tried to commit suicide." "Oh my god, are you okay?" "Yea...Billie stopped me, but I just really need to talk to someone...could you come over?" He wants me to come over! "Yea, ill be over soon." I hang up, grab my keys and run out of the studio.

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Gerard's POV

I let frank in and as soon as I open the door he hugs me. I missed Frank...a lot, I've always loved him and I think he feels the same. We sit down and talk for a while and end up watching a movie together. "Gee...can I ask you something?" "Sure frank." "Nevermind" "frank, ask me." He shakes his head and I start tickling him. He lets out his cute little laugh "okay, fine. Ya know how we kiss onstage?" Shit. He was making me so nervous, did he seriously like me too?! "Yea" I reply with a smirk. "We'll...that's real right? Not. Acting?" I move closer to him and kiss his cheek "I never act onstage."

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Franks POV

He just kissed my cheek...he really wasn't acting! He leans his head on my shoulder and closes his eyes. "Thanks for being here Frank, it means a lot." "Yea, no problem Gee." He the whispers "I love you Frankie." He loves me! "I love you too Gee." We fall asleep on the couch together and I've never been more comfortable in my life.

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Billies POV

In the morning I get ready to go to the hospital, on my way out I see that Sara's bedroom door is open. Tears fill my eyes and I wipe them away. I grab the door handle and get ready to close it, before I do I look around the room one last time. I get in my car and start thinking about driving my off the road with hopes of killing myself. I realize I can't do that, people need me. I pull the car over and start having a panic attack, I pull at my hair and let out a loud scream. It felt good to get out, the past few days its felt like I'm standing in a room screaming an no one looks up.

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Amanda's POV

Billies late, as usual. Amy is so tired that she's falling asleep in the waiting room. Billie comes walking in "you haven't changed have you? Still never on time." As I get closer to him i see that he's been crying. "Yea, sorry. I'm here now though." I take his hand and lead him over to Amy, whose asleep. I pick her up and she opens her eyes, rubbing them sleepily.

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Billies POV

She's so cute, she must be my daughter if she's that cute. They call us in too do the blood test, they take blood from me and Amy and we wait for results. Amy sits on Amanda's lap and they play patty cake until the doctor enters with the results, i start getting nervous. "Ok, we have the results in, and Mr. Armstrong is in fact the father of this child. Congratulations." Shit. Why is this happening?!

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Amanda's POV

I pick Amy up and bring her over to Billie. "Amy, this is your Daddy." I hand her over to him, "Amanda, I don't-" I cut him off and put her right in his arms. She hugs him, kisses his cheek and wraps her arms around his neck resting her head on his chest "daddy." She says. Billie looks down at her then up at me.

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Billies POV

She's so small, and she called me daddy...but I can't do this right now. I kiss her forehead and hand her back over to Amanda. "I'm so sorry, I just can't do this right now, you have my number and my address." I say walking away. "I'll call you tomorrow" she yells. I felt bad for leaving but seeing Amy made me think of wanting to have kids with Sara, which I never got to do...we would have made beautiful children. I miss her so fucking much.

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