Out Of Desperation // Harry Styles

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So this was the first story I ever wrote in my entire life. I had no feel for writing yet. This is the result of my amateur-ness. Hopefully you'll enjoy it anyway.
-J

****I'm just warning you again that there is graphic violence, gun violence, there is ra.pe, there is se.x in this story!! Last warning. I'm sure you'll read it anyway, my per.vy people! Plus, there's still love and romance, so...****

JENNA'S POV:

It was getting dark. I knew I should've walked faster, but I was thinking everything looked calm in the not so great section of town, so I was sure I'd be fine. I'd walked this way home from Brooke's place before. No biggie. Besides, it was a nice night. And it's always worth seeing my best friend, no matter what section of town she lives in. I walked this way because I just felt like walking. Longer than it took to get to my place. Sometimes I'd walk this way for some exercise. Of course, it was usually in the daylight, is all.

Ahh Brooke. We have the bestest times. When we get together it's mostly all laughs. Laughs until our cheeks literally hurt. Tonight, we had gotten bored, and decided to "play dress up". She had gotten some new outfits, and we're the same size, so we tried them on so she could see what items matched with what. Mix and match dress up, basically. We did this whenever she went shopping. I didn't bother with it when I'd shop. I hardly shopped. I hated shopping for clothes. I wasn't fancy like her anyway. She always had nice outfits on. I was pretty much always in skinny jeans, a flannel with a cami underneath, or just a boyfriend tee with a hoodie over top, and flip flops if it wasn't the very dead of winter. Sometimes I'd wear flip flops then too, though. I like flip flops. They're comfy and easy. Tonight I couldn't find my other flip flop, so I had tossed on my white Chuck Taylors instead for once. Better for walking to Brooke's house anyway. And I didn't usually do much with my hair, either. I could always be seen in a sloppy bun or pony tail. My hair was pretty long, so I didn't want to deal with it most of the time. I didn't even know why I kept it long, when all I did was keep it in a bun. I guess just in case. Just in case I'd meet the guy of my dreams....I'd have long hair to sweep him off his feet.

Hahah. I crack myself up. Sweep some guy off his feet. Yeah, right. Maybe if I was Brooke. She does it regularly. But me...I mostly just sit and watch in the background as she flirts away.

I'm either too shy, or too ugly. I don't know. I mean, I guess I'm ok...men just never really chased after me. Even when I wanted them to. I'd had plenty of crushes....but I gave up even telling Brooke about them, because nothing ever became of them. Sure, I'd had boyfriends.. One, my first love, dumped me after a year. He simply got tired of me. Wanted to be young and have fun. I guess that's better than keeping me and cheating on me, right? I suspect he cheated on me towards the end, which probably gave him the motivation to dump me, when he realized there were other fish in the sea...but I don't know about it, so I don't really care. It was years ago, anyway.

When he dumped me, I thought my life would end. He was my "first", after all. I thought we'd get married someday and have kids....we talked about it a lot in the beginning. What did I know...I was 17. Luckily, I look back now and I'm glad he dumped me. We weren't a good fit to begin with. He actually saved me the work of dumping him. I just didn't know I wanted to dump him until after I was over him.

My other boyfriend was a longer one. Almost three and a half years. I loved him though. He was so chill. I like that in a man. We'd sit for hours at night, just watching the stars, barely talking, but whatever we did say, was...deep. It was perfect. I could have stayed with him forever. Everything was so simple with him. But, he dumped me in the end. For no reason other than "I was too good for him". Whatever that means. I guess because I was going to go to college soon, and he wasn't. He could barely pass high school. But I didn't care. We fit together great. That's all I cared about. All the other men in my life were quick, not worth mentioning. I'd only "been with" 3 guys yet, at age 21.