Super Rich Kids

Chapter Eight: Part Two

i replayed my conversation with Syd in my head all day the next day.

i was at the store helping lucas with the online orders till clancy needed me and i losing my focus left and right.

"ya know, if you need a break its cool. there aren't many more to do." lucas said with real concern.

i tried to to tell him no but clancy walked in and saw me. i must have looked like shit because he told me to go to lunch.

i walked outside, exhausted and worried, and went to the nearest coffee shop. when i was back at the small car i had rented once realising that was needed in LA, i sat for awhile and thought. one cup of coffee later and i decided i had balls enough to do the one thing i both wanted and didn't want to do.

i drove to syd's.

once at her house it took her awhile to answer the door. long enough for me to rethink the whole thing and lose my nerve. right as i was gonna drive away like a coward she swung the door open and told me to come in. i wasn't sure if i was relieved.

Syd's place was dark. she had cheep strobe lights as a light source around the room. we walked back to her bedroom and she had me sit on her desk chair as she sat on the edge of her bed. she wasn't smiling.

"so what's up?" she asked in her normal chill tone

"i wanted to see you. i wanted to talk."

"should i be worried?" she chuckled in the dim light of her computer monitor

"no i just thought we should. cause we never really did." i was picking at the hem of my shorts and stealing glances up at her.

"go ahead." she seemed almost amused by me.

"i want us to be clear on what we are." i offered it up timidly.

"and what are me?" it came at me like a demand but she spoke so evenly.

i paused. we weren't anything really and yet i knew if i said that it would be damning what we had done. "well we're not exactly friends..."

she gave me a look like "oh really?"

"oh come on, friends don't make friends moan like that." i spat at her and immediately bit my lip as my face flushed.

she started to laugh, more to herself. "they can, if they really want to."

this wasn't going the way i wanted. i needed her to say she wanted me and make up my mind or say she wasn't interested and push me away. i needed a reason to love her or one to hate her but she was dancing around this without a care in the world. i was at a loss.

"babe you're not my girl." she said shaking her head.

"did you want me to be?" i asked not really expecting an answer.

she didn't give me one right away. i buried my face in my hands and listened to her start and stop a sentence.

"i wanted you... but i had you, in a way. but you and i aren't good." her words were jumbled and tactless and honest. "i like you. just you would get bored of me not being what you wanted."

"how do you know what i want?" i whispered.

she looked me in the eye in the low light and i saw her smile but it didn't reach her eyes.

"i see it when he's around and you cant breath right."

my heart broke then. she didn't need to say a name. i already knew, and she was right. she just took what she could get and then left. self preservation in a sick way. but then again, i was looking for something in her that i hadn't gotten from Frank. instant satisfaction.

i couldn't excuse that... so we sat in the dark for a long while before i left.

she kissed me on the cheek at the door and gave me a reassuring look. we were good. thats all i could ask for.