Take Your Tears, Put 'Em On Ice

~ N-I-N-E ~

~Friday; 22nd of November 2019~

~ P-A-T-R-I-C-K ~

I chewed on my nails nervously as I watched out the front window for Pete's car. Brendon said it was dark gray classic. Didn't mention what type of car, just the colour. Thanks man.

"So who was that boy with Brendon again?" Aunt Jenn walked down the stairs with a basket of her dirty laundry in arm.

I turned and glanced at her before anxiously looking out the window again. "Ryan Ross? You have him in class?"

She paused, voice hardening. "Oh yeah. Did they do anything to you?"

I quickly shook my head and turned to her again. "No? We just hung out for a while. Watched a movie."

She nodded and continued walking to the laundry room. "As long as you're not hanging out with any-"

"Bye Aunt Jenn, Pete is here!" I rushed out the door even though there was no car in sight. I didn't want to hear her nagging of "gay guys are bad guys" because frankly, it hurt. I am so sorry that I happen to find tan, muscular tattooed men with a v-line a lot more attractive to look at than a slut.

Especially guys that are short. Just a little taller than me. Warm eyes that sparkle when happy, or even turn dark when upset. Hair on the more long side to tangle fingers in, full lips that are still satisfying when chapped, gentle callused hands that move with no hesitation. A guy with a personality to contrast mine; loud, outgoing and energetic to meet my quiet, shy and careful self. But not fight and feel annoyed by the differences.

My thoughts were interrupted by a car horn. I looked up and saw I had walked down the street by almost a block away from home, and a black Impala was facing me with a tan guy's head sticking out the window with a grin. My face immediately grew hot when I realized that Pete Wentz matched my dream guy. Or was I describing Pete as my dream guy?

I hurried over and jumped in the front passenger seat, dropping my small bag to the floorboard. Pete began driving again although his smile didn't fade.

"Hey Patrick!" I jump a little and turn around to see Jack and Alex sitting in the back. I offer a smile and get two wide grins in return.

"So where are we going lads?" I break the silence once more. Jack and Alex shrug. We all look at Pete.

"Hm? Oh. Uhh..." he stopped at a red light. "Well it's about noon, we ate before we left, you hungry?" He looked at me. I shook my head, although I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday.

"Ah just fuck it!" Alex spoke up. "It's beautiful outside! A little cold, but good enough. Let's go to the park! You know, like the cliché book shit when the characters can't figure out what else to do."

"Alex, you read too much cliché fanfiction. But the park doesn't sound all that bad," Jack agreed.

Pete just dipped his head and took a left turn instead of going straight like the lane he was in. I watched out the window at the scenery I didn't know all that well. If I wasn't at home or at the rink, I was walking around the city, which wasn't often as I don't want to walk alone.

But if I was doing any of those, I was alone. My only social life I had been with Aunt Jenn, and random strangers for a few hours a day, just to never speak to them again. And now suddenly I'm hanging out with the Glenbrook hockey team as if it was something done often. I feel so out of place. Just... a waste of space. Someone else could be here. Someone like them, who enjoys the sport. Not me, who just watches. Who just ice dances like the g-

"Patrick?"

I blinked. I hadn't realized the car had stopped. Or that Jack and Alex had gotten out and were playing with a frisbee. Or that I had tears streaking down my cheeks.

I quickly used my cardigan sleeves and wiped the salty sadness off of my face. I accidentally hit my nose and winced back, letting the f-bomb fly past my lips. "S-sorry," I mutter and open the car door. I climb out and notice Pete does the same.

Before I could go join Jack and Alex or something, he slams his door closed and walks around the front of the car. He grabs me and pulls me into his chest, careful about my bandaged nose. I freeze up, never have being so close to someone in quite a long time.

"It's okay to cry, you know." Pete whispered. He nuzzled the top of my head and softly ran circles over my back with one hand. I could feel tears brimming my eyes again.

"Nobody has ever told me it was okay to cry. Is it? Is it okay to cry?" The words fall from my mouth in a jumble. Pete just nods. I take notice that my hands are on his chest. A hot blush covers my face, and only becomes hotter when I see the edge of a tattoo peeking out from under his shirt collar.

"Come on," he pulls back but grabs one of my hands. I stumble behind him and fall into his side a little, but he doesn't seem to mind. He just glances over and smirks, tightening his hold on my hand.

It was a good ten minute walk before either of us said anything. It was quiet, the occasional car motor or pedestrian passing along. Pete suddenly pulled me off the invisible path we were following. He dropped my hand, zipping up his jacket and falling to the ground in some kind of front roll, stopping on his back and looking up at me. A grin played on his face as he saw my confusion, a laugh rumbling from his chest.

He patted the grass next to him without removing his gaze. I slowly walk over and lower myself onto the soft ground. He motions for me to lay back, so I did. Clouds dotted the soft gray sky in random puffs of white and darker gray. Birds would flutter past in all different colours and sizes. Even the plane making its way across the sky was somewhat fascinating. The sun was off to the side, just behind the branches of a large tree slowly moving in the chilled breeze.

I looked over at Pete, who was propped up on an elbow and already looking down at me. When I caught his gaze, a light blush appeared on his cheeks.

"What were you thinking about?" His voice was naturally rough, but what I just heard was smooth and soft.

I turn to look back at the sky. I opened my mouth to reply but he spoke up again.

"Not now, then. When you were crying." He scooted a little closer, using his free hand to play with one of mine.

I took one look at him and then at our hands before it all came pouring out. By the time I was done, I was crying again, and shivering. "I-I thought I was going to be alone f-for the long-gest time here."

He just nodded his head and wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me close again, but this time I curled against him. He was warm and felt safe. I felt his lips gaze my forehead before his chin rested on my hair.

Why does he make me feel this way?