Dangerous Desires (MurdochxGillies)

Chapter One: Dangerous Desires

It had been three months since James Gillies jumped to his death. It had been three months since Detective William Murdoch had begun to feel somewhat unlike himself. Ever since that kiss...but no. He would forget it. After all, Gillies was most likely dead and Murdoch had Julia to occupy his heart. Well, he thought he did. Things hadn't been the same between them since that fateful night. William sensed that she knew his heart was straying, but he said nothing. He would need to concentrate on forgetting James Gillies ever existed so that he could finally propose to the woman he adored.

It was the night after a big case, and the constabulary was celebrating. After many weeks of trying to catch the Toronto Thrasher, Murdoch had finally caught the killer in the act and managed to save another woman from being murdered. Inspector Brackenreid, George, Higgins, and Dr.Grace were all drinking champagne and scotch in the lobby of the constabulary. Julia sat in the detectives office, astounded by Murdoch's deductive skills during the case.
"Why, William I don't know how you managed it. I mean to catch him in the act using only a triggered light is truly amazing. "
Murdoch smiled slightly at the compliment. "Well Julia, if you say so."
"William, what's the matter? Aren't you relieved?" She placed a hand on his arm and he chuckled.
"Yes,Julia. I'm just tired. I have had many restless nights over the past few weeks. If you don't mind, I think I'll go on home now and rest." He rose and grabbed his hat from the coat rack. Bidding farewell to his friends and colleagues, the Detective returned to his little apartment.

Turning his key in the knob, the door eased open before unlocked. Someone had unlocked it already. Suddenly on alert, Murdoch carefully eased the door open. He slipped inside and ran his hand along the wall, looking for the light switch. Suddenly, a hand held his wrist against the wall while another gripped his other wrist.
"Tsk,tsk, Detective. I prefer mood lighting."
Detective Murdoch gasped and struggled to make out a face in the dark, but he knew just from the sound of his voice who it was:
James Gillies

{Continued}

"Gillies? I don't understand. How did you survive?"
A soft laugh chimed in front of him and breath was hot on his neck.
"Dear Detective, why would I tell you that? You haven't even greeted me properly." A shudder went through Murdoch's body as he felt Gillies's breath go down his collar. "Come now, Detective, have you not been thinking of our shared moment on the train tracks those few months ago?"
Murdoch tried to fight free,but Gillies had a firm grip and pressed him into the wall more.
"Oh,Murdoch. Admit it, you missed this." Slowly, Murdoch felt what he assumed to be Gillies tongue run down his neck and shivered.
"Why are you doing this?" Murdoch hissed out.
Gillies grew quiet for a long moment and moved one hand to Murdoch's side. "You should know,Detective."
Warm breath caressed Murdoch's lips and he knew what would come next. Fear pitted his stomach, but at the same time his heart felt ready to burst it felt so full. He wanted this...even if it was only a little- and that terrified him.
Bracing himself, Murdoch felt soft lips graze against his. Stubble scratched against his clean shaven face and he realized Gillies was probably just as in shaven as he was on the train. He tensed as his lips connected with Gillies's again. He refused to kiss back even though every fiber in his body told him to. This was wrong. He shouldn't be allowing this to happen.
"Stop. Please..stop." Murdoch's voice shook with fear. He shouldn't be doing this it was so wrong. It was a sin. Gillies let go of Murdoch and stepped away, his footsteps echoed throughout the now silent room. Suddenly, a lantern was lit on the bedside table. Finally able to see, Murdoch took in James Gillies. His hair and face was the same as in the train but he had changed into an average suit, the jacket flung over a chair. Murdoch's eyesight became blurry and he wasn't sure what was happening.
"Detective..you're crying." A note of surprise escaped Gillies's voice. He stepped towards Murdoch and the detective couldn't take. He sunk to the ground, crying. Gillies was at his side immediately.
"Detective Murdoch, I thought you wanted this as well. Forgive me..I just assumed." His voice was truly concerned and Murdoch shook his head.
"It's wrong. This is a sin." Gillies's eyes widened as he understood. He chuckled.
"Murdoch. Look at me." He cupped Murdoch's face in his hands and began to wipe away the tears. "Love is not a sin, no matter what god you worship."
Murdoch stared into Gillies eyes and nodded slightly, convinced for now. He was right though. Love was not a sin, but was that what this feeling inside of him was? Or was it just deSire? Dangerous, dangerous desire.