freefall |[ luke kuechly ]|

|[secrets]|

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September 13, 2013
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Ellen was alone in the apartment, Luke had left to take his parents to the airport. Ellen sat curled tightly in the chair in the corner of the living room. She covered herself protectively in a red fuzzy blanket. She was deep in thought and had the lights off. She looked out the window and watched as the sunset.

Since Luke's parents arrived, everything had become a reality to her. It hit her all at once. That she was going to spend the rest of her life with Luke. That the two people who just left would now be a apart of her family. That they were expecting grandkids. That Ellen would be held down to Charlotte, North Carolina. Her heart began racing. Were they moving too fast? She wanted so much out of this life. Was she really ready to settle down? She loved Luke, but was this what she wanted. The sun was officially set, signaling the day was over. Ellen wondered if the ring on her finger was like the sunset. That her life was over.

She sat in the dark corner, contemplating everything. She didn't know what to do. She wasn't ready to be done living. She didn't want to be held back from traveling, trying new things, and exploring. Luke didn't even know everything that was going on with her. She didn't know how to tell him. She was scared and anxious. Her mind was getting the best of her and controlling her thoughts. It shouldn't be that hard to tell him. He would understand her fears. But then again, what if he didn't? What if he told her she was being crazy?

She couldn't stand the thought of Luke rejecting her. She looked at the sparkling ring one last time before tossing the blanket aside. She stood from the chair and ran off down the even darker hallway to their bedroom. She unconsciously had tears running down her pale cheeks. She began frantically searching for a bag. She needed to get out before Luke got home. She threw a bunch of clothes in the bag.

She heard the jingling of keys in the door and collapsed to the ground. She began sobbing into the side of the bed, her hand gripping tightly onto the silky comforter for support.

"Ellen?" his voice boomed through the apartment. Ellen's heart was beating rapidly. "Ellen?" He yelled again, his voice getting louder as he got closer. He came into view of the bedroom door. His jaw dropped when he saw Ellen lying on the ground crying. He ran to her side and began rubbing her back. He didn't know what was wrong, but thought that Elle needed him. "Hey, what's the matter?" he asked in a soothing voice. He removed his hand from her back and wrapped them around her whole body. He sat on the plush white carpet and pulled her into him. Her tiny hands covered her wet face and her knees hugged her chest. "Why are you crying?" he asked. He carefully peeled her hands from her face. His voice was less soothing now, and more concerned. Ellen looked into his wide brown eyes, and she knew her crying was hurting him too. The little wrinkle in his forehead was present, as it always was when he was confused.

"I'm just so scared," Ellen mustered out faintly. She barely spoke.

"Why are you scared?" Luke asked shaking his head. He had only been gone for 45 minutes, what could have happened within that time to scare her so much.

"With your parents coming it made it even more real. Everything. I'm just so scared. I put on a smile for when they were here, but I'm terrified," Ellen said even quieter than before. The only light in the room was the lamp on the bedside table, and it cast a hazy glow throughout the bedroom.

"Was it something they said?" Luke asked. He bit his cheek, bracing himself for what she would say. Luke had always been a family man and if he had to go against his family for Ellen he would but it wouldn't be easy.

"They kept talking about grandkids, and it freaked me out. You know I'm not ready for that. I have so much I want to do and see," Ellen said. Her voice cracked and little tears rolled out of her eyes.

"Ellen- I know that. I'm not pushing you into anything," Luke stammered. "We don't need to have kids until you're ready. You know that."

"So after you left, I t-took a pregnancy test,"Ellen said. Her face went an even deeper shade of white, making Luke sure of what she was about to say.

"And?" Luke gulped.

"It was positive," Ellen began sobbing into his soft t-shirt. Luke's jaw tightened. He wasn't expecting this at all. He didn't think this was what he was going to come home too. His large hands began rubbing her back, letting her know that he was here. "I'm so scared," she sobbed again.

"Ellen, you know we will get through this together. We have gone through so much. Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean your life is over," Luke tried. He was nervous to ask the next question but he knew he had to. "Do you want to keep it?"

Ellen didn't answer for a while. She was contemplating her answer. She hadn't expected Luke to react the way he did, she thought he would be angry or sad, but he showed no signs of those emotions. They sat for a while, Luke didn't pressure her to answer, he knew she needed time to think.

The thing was: Ellen knew that Luke would be a good dad and she didn't want to rob him of that. She could see Luke pushing their baby in a stroller. She could see him proudly putting their child on his shoulders after a long day at training camp. She could see him holding the baby protectively in his arms, just as he was doing to Ellen now.

Ellen pulled herself away from his chest. "Do you promise to love the baby as well as you love me?"

"Of course, that baby is a part of us and I would love it more than anything," Luke assured her. She looked down, but Luke's hand pushed her chin gently up.

"Promise?" Ellen asked, a small smile playing across her lips for the first time since Luke got home. She held out her pinky to him.

"Promise," Luke said. Their pinkies connected and Luke's smile grew. Ellen finally saw his true feelings about becoming a dad, he was ecstatic and excited. The fact that he would have given up his immense joy for Ellen's sake, made Ellen even more sure that she was making the right choice in keeping the baby.

"I love you," Ellen whispered. Their lips were nearly touching.

"I love you more than you will ever know."

Baby Kuechly! Boy or girl?! Were you guys expecting that? As I said earlier, I will not update until my chapter get 25 votes and 9 comments!