ELEVEN

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Tamsin drove back to Manhattan through her tears. Her father had been so close to her. She never wanted him to be that close ever again. She braked at a red light, seeing Hamilton just up ahead. When the light flicked to green, she couldn't help but think of how her mother must have died, and then the tears she was working to suppress came out all over again. There was a honk from the car behind her, and she jolted, snapping into reality, accelerating the car into motion.

Tamsin waved silently to Milly, who opened her mouth to speak, but closed it knowingly and returned the muted wave. Once inside the dorm, Tamsin slumped against the door exhausted. She knew she looked a mess, too.

Lina burst out from the bathroom suddenly, wide-eyed and out of breath. 'We've been robbed!' She screamed.

'What?' Tamsin yawned. Yeah, right. That couldn't be right. That was too many bad things to happen to her all at once.

'Someone broke in and stole our things!'

'Like what?' Tamsin began to wake up again, seeing the fear and utter seriousness in Lina's eyes.

'A bottle of Viva la Juicy perfume from France and my Gucci watch!' She wailed miserably. 'I haven't seen any of your things missing yet.'

Tamsin shrugged, biting back a snide response. I don't have anything good enough to steal. 'I'm sure you've just misplaced them.'

'They're gone,' Lina insisted. 'I put them in the cupboard.'

Tamsin bit her lip. 'I'll call campus police. Was the door open when you got here?'

'I haven't left here all day. I just woke up.'

Tamsin crossed over the room to their dorm phone and hit 'campus police'. 'Hello,' she said sweetly when the phone was finally answered. 'I'd like to report a robbery.'

'Dorm?'

'Bradwell, 63.'

'Stolen items?'

'A bottle of perfume and a watch.'

'Expensive things,' Lina mouthed, glaring at Tamsin.

Tamsin sighed and repeated it back to the phone operator. 'Expensive things.'

'Can you give me an estimation of the figure we're looking at here?' The man asked gruffly.

'How much total?' Tamsin asked Lina, covering the phone with her hand.

'The perfume was $120 and the watch would have been...around $1200.'

Tamsin's brows raised and she turned back to the phone. 'About $1,320.'

'We'll send an officer over shortly.'

---

While the police interrogated Lina, who was wide-eyed with rage at their slack pace, Tamsin needed quiet. She needed just a moment to herself; to catch her breath. Her mother was gone, her brother away, and her father had died to her a long time ago. It was too much to process in the company of others.

Tamsin began her walk in the gardens. When she found herself lost in the middle of nowhere, a park bench and small pond in front of her, she sat simply and sobbed. Sobbed for herself, her brother, her mother, who had died so unfairly. She was allowing the grief she'd sealed deep inside her out, letting her tears flow freely. She couldn't be strong anymore; not even for Trey. He wasn't here, anyway, and if he wasn't here, he couldn't see how utterly ripped apart she was. She had taken her own mother for granted, who had been her prime caregiver for years. Her father clocked in and out, never truly there. The absence of her father made the presence of her mother even more apparent, now that she was gone. Why had the parent who loved her been stolen away, and the volatile, indifferent 'father' left behind?

Tamsin hated herself for not showing more appreciation for her mom. She was the one who had kissed her bruises, brushed her hair, made Tamsin her favourite fudge brownies when she was sad and her father wasn't nearby to lecture them. Now the only woman that had ever loved her was gone, along with Tamsin's shattered heart.

Tamsin screamed into the woods, her aching heart splintering even more. She was practically an orphan. Alone. Guilty for not showering her mother with affection when she had the time to see it. She cursed herself for every time she chose to read a book instead of hug her mother; cursed all the times her foolish, teenage mouth had shouted horrendous words at the woman who wanted only to make her feel better. Tamsin fell off the bench, thrashing and screaming and crying uncontrollably. It just hurt; it hurt too much, and she could never breathe again.

And then, mid-scream, two, huge arms wrapped around her. She didn't know who it was, didn't care, just knew that it was what she needed. She leant back into the arms cradling her like a child, her vision blurry with tears, sobbing and sobbing and sobbing until it felt like she would flood the earth with her tears. A hand touched her hair, smoothed it down, pressed her cheek to a buff chest. It felt so good to be held. The hands were cool and dry, the skin somewhat rough; the kind of skin you would expect a hard worker to have. But the fingers were gentle against her hot skin, gently caressing her bare arms. Soon after, the hands had managed to quieten her voice, which felt hoarse from screaming.

The guy—even in her hopeless state, Tamsin knew it was a guy—sighed against her ear, making her shiver. 'I've got you,' he whispered. His voice was familiar. Turning her face upward, her eyes connected with a pair of dark glasses. The kind you couldn't see out of.

'Angus,' she breathed.

He was cross-legged on the floor, his rippled, taut muscles cradling her gently, her feet barely touching the floor, her knees draped over his thigh, and her back and shoulders supported by his strong arm. In a moment, she'd forgotten where she was or why she was crying, and all her eyes sought were his.

'Wh—what are you doing?' She asked him, sniffling, her dark eyes still leaking tears. Tamsin had no intention of moving. Strange as this moment was, it was bliss. Foreign and scary, but utter bliss. It was paradise to be held, even by this almost-stranger.

'I'm holding you.' He murmured softly.

'Why?' The question fell out of her mouth stupidly—she hadn't meant to ask, and she blushed.

Angus' lips turned down at the corners. 'Because I know what it's like to lose something and want it back so badly you'd give up your own soul for it.' To her surprise, under his dark glasses and trailing down his tan cheek, was a single tear.

Tamsin sighed gently, watching the tear travel ever-so-slowly down his cheek, until it fell in between the crevice of the corner of his mouth. Overcome with sadness for Angus, who she realised was talking about losing his sight, Tamsin reached out her hand, catching the tear with the pad of her finger.

Angus' hand moved to hers, his thumb brushing the palm of her hand. She gasped at the tingling in her hand and the strange zing of unfamiliarity and nervousness in her tummy, and hoped Angus hadn't heard. But he seemed to be locked away in a world of his own, because his face remained slack and expressionless, and his lips were parted just slightly.

Reluctant to crawl out of the lap that had guided her sobs into coherent words, she knew she had to anyway. Tamsin gathered her feet under her, and then turned to Angus, who had seemingly been caught in a trance of his own. She brushed her hand against his to help him up, but the tingle between them this time felt more like a zap, and Angus flinched, withdrawing his hand. Ever the gentleman, he stood up anyway and faced her.

'I hope you're...' the words were strained, 'okay.'

Tamsin was suddenly too aware of her hands and where to put them, and the fact that she may have been breathing too loudly. She swallowed, a bundle of nerves. 'Yeah,' she said. 'I'm...okay.'

Angus nodded, licked his lips. 'Okay. Well...' he sounded slightly out of breath, 'I only came out for a short walk, so...I should probably get back.'

Tamsin nodded, before realising he couldn't see her. 'Oh, right. I'll, um, see you later then.'

Angus nodded, the corners of his lips hitching upward slightly. 'See you around, Tamsin.'

Tamsin was surprised to find herself feeling just a little bit sad as he walked away from her and out of the woods. She rolled her eyes, wiping away any traces of tears left on her cheeks, and took a deep breath. Come on, Tamsin. Get yourself together. That was weird.

---

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