Behind The Band

4: Getting to Know Me

(A/N) - so this chapter is very much true and what I went through when I was 11-14. i'm truley sorry if it brings back any memories for anyone. 

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We were preparing for take off. I started to search my pocket for gum to chew on. "Why do you need that?" Liam asked as he sat next to me. "To stop me ears from popping when we take off."

"What's wrong with your ears?" Niall said butting in. "Well, it's not eavesdropping that's for sure!" I said with a big cheeky grin on my face. Niall pouted but gestured for me to continue.

"When I was little, I had a lot of trouble hearing, I still do might I just add. It is mainly caused because I have such a wide jaw, and it has shortened the width of my ear canal, which means... and I know it is gross... ear wax can't pass through causing me not to be able to hear. I have also lost a lot of hearing and I get very bad ear aches."

"How bad do your ear aces get," Niall asked out of curiosity. "On a scale of 1-10, between 8.5 and 10. It also stopped me from learning how to swim until I was 11 and little things that a child should be enjoying."

"Wow, that sucks!" Niall said with a screwed up expression. "Yeah it did at the time, but I never knew any better, so I can't really compare."

"We are preparing for take off" a loud voice comes over a speaker.

"What do I do?" I asked Liam not sure seeing as I hadn't been on a plane for about 10 years. "You just have to buckle up." He explained. I fiddled around with the buckles not knowing how to clip them together. All of a sudden, I feel two big, gentle, tattooed hands over mine. "Allow me, love," he said with a sweet smile. I suddenly felt butterflies in my stomach, at his act of kindness. "What does this mean?" I hear a voice in my head. You've only known him for less than two weeks!

I pushed my feelings aside, as I felt the engines start up. I felt my heart pounding in my chest as I gripped the edge of my seat. We started to move faster and faster down the runway. I suddenly felt the same hands I had just felt moments ago wrap around my hand and give it a gentle squeeze.

"It's okay love, nothing to be nervous about. I'm here to protect you," He whispered in my ear. His words immediately soothed my anxiousness as we made it safely into the sky.

*4 Hours into flight

We were all starting to get a little bored at this point. I slightly sighed when I realised that we had about 9 hours left in our 13-hour journey. I saw Harry sit in front of us along with Niall, and Loui sat on the side. "So Dani, why don't you tell us a little about yourself," Harry said in a thick North English accent.

"Well, what do you want to know?" I ask not knowing where to start. "oo I'll ask the first obvious questions." Niall yelled. "Full name. Age. Birthday. GO!"

I slightly laugh at his seriousness and cuteness at the same time. "My full name is Daniella Elizabeth Allen, I'm 17 and I was born on the 5th of March. "

"Harry's turn! Harry's turn" Harry jumped up and down like a kid in a candy story. "Whats your first pet's name and what was the first street you lived on?"

"Are you asking me what me porn name?" I asked him suspiciously with a smirk on my face. "Mayyyybeeee...." He replied.

"Well, my first cat's name was Puss Puss and the first street I lived on was Petra, sooo, PUSS PUSS PETRA!!" We all broke out in hysteria.

"My turn," the voice next to me said so calmly. "When we were in your room, I couldn't help but notice all the P!nk merchandise, and of course the song you were singing when we first met you. So im guessing she is your favourite singer?"

"She's more than just a singer to me," I replied with a solemn look spread across my face. "She saved my life." The boys all fell silent. 

"What do you mean by that?" Niall seemed afraid of the questions, probably knowing what I was about to tell him. 

"When I was 11, my Great Grandmother passed away. She was the glue who kept my family together. I knew that when she'd pass away, my famil would fall to pieces, which it did. There was no more family Christmases, no more family Easter, no more Birthdays. I hardly ever get to see them. I tried to glue the pieces together, but my side of the family just got in my way and told me that nobody cares anymore and they all have their own family to be with. I couldn't help but feel like I had let G-Grandma down, and that she would be so disappointed that we no longer see each other."

After I had finished the first part of the story, the boys were all shaking the heads in disappointment. "Don't ever feel like you let your Grandmother down," Loui said in a stern voice. "I'm sure you tried very hard to keep your family together and she would be able to see that. It's not your fault that your family are arseholes and don't want to spend time with your family anymore."

I gave Loui a thankful smile and carried on with my story. "6 months later I started year 7. There was only 10 of us left out of 50 students because everybody else went to private schools. It was then that I realised that I had no friends. The other 9 students in my year started bullying me. I found out that out of 50 people in my year, none of them liked me and were all pretending to be my friends. Even my so called "best friends" were making fun of me. They'd always go travelling together and never invite me, or they'd have a sleepover and would even think about me. And after all, I did for them, thinking that I had the best friends in the world. 

I began to feel like I was screaming under water. I felt as though there was no purpose in my life anymore and that nobody gave two shits about me. I couldn't take it anymore. Waking up and going through and doing the same thing every single day. I felt lonely. Most people think that being lonely means alone, but it doesn't. You can be lonely in a pact room, if the one person you're missing isn't there. And for me that person was G-Grandma.

I tried telling anyone that I could that I was not okay. But nobody would listen. I told my mother, and she told me I was over exagerating and to get over like she does with everything. It was at this point in my life that I realised I had nobody I could count on."

I was almost afraid to go on to the next part of the story because I had never told anybody else before and I was worried about what their reaction might be. 

Very slowly I said in a cracked voice: "I started to contemplate suicide."