Kindness

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Gabriel felt his throat closing in on itself as he stared at Sam's determined face, nothing revealed other than the concern that placated his eyes in wisps. Gabriel felt his walls tumble down, and his hand found Sam's, gripping it tightly as he closed his eyes a moment before he started talking.


"She didn't mean to say it like that." Gabriel whispered, his voice not really able to go any louder as he let it sink into his mind of what he had truly done. It hurt. It hurt like hell, but he had Sam's hand as anchor, driving him to push out what needed to be said.


Gabriel felt his tears well at the memories though and buried his face in Sam's shoulder, letting out a shaky sob. "S-she was drunk, and she said she wished I had never been born." He stopped, listening to the soft beat of Sam's heart, his breath stuttering as Sam squeezed his hand ever so gently.


"I didn't know what else to do...so I ran up here." Gabriel finally whispered after a moment, his eyes searching out that nail that had caught him on the door frame. He wasn't sure whether it was from hallucinations or no, but he could still see blood stained on the nail. "I cut myself on one of the nails of the door frame."


Sam's hold tightened just a little bit more, his free hand automatically moving to Gabriel's bandaged arm and holding it gently. "I tried to ignore it, I really tried, but it just kept itching. There was so much itching." Gabriel mumbled, the tingle in his arm growing more prominent at the thought of it, but he knew he wouldn't do it, not with Sam sitting by him, his silent guide in his admittance.


"I made it a little over two months. Just two months. How pathetic is that." Gabriel said, a small humorless laugh coming from his throat. How could he had ever thought he could have made Sam happy when he couldn't even do it for himself?


Sam let out a soft noise of disapproval, running his hand over Gabriel's cheek gently and patting it as if he was scolding him. Gabriel couldn't help but give him a sad smile, letting his tears collect on Sam's fingers as he leaned in close to the warmth of the boy.


"I'm sorry, Sam. I really am." Gabriel whispered, moving his face away from Sam's touch and turning his eyes to the ground, his fingers subconsciously twitching towards his arm. He didn't even hear the door to his room open, or his mother's footsteps before she crouched in front of him, pulling him into a tight hug and sobbing into his shoulder.


"I'm such a terrible mother." She whispered, clutching onto him and leaving him stunned to say the least. The beating in his heart only grew when he realized that she had heard everything, shame leaking into his very core as he realized his secret was out.


"N-no." Gabriel mumbled, his voice catching in his throat. What else could he say to that? You didn't know? There was no way you would have figured it out? He doubted any of those would have made his mother feel better. After all, it still happened.


"I didn't know my baby was hurting. I'm supposed to be able to help you, but all I've done is let you grow up in an abusive home and suffer through your pain alone." His mother cried. Gabriel rubbed her back a bit awkwardly, and Sam let out a sigh, taking Gabriel's arms and wrapping them around his mother properly, giving Gabriel an encouraging look.


Gabriel let out a sniffle and hugged his mother in earnest, clutching onto her frail back as he began crying again. Gabriel wished he could say that all his problems dissipated with that single hug, but the itch was still there. Yet, there was a stunted feeling to it, as if Sam's and his mother's presence lessened the urge, if only for a little while.


It took a moment before his mother found the strength to let him go, but when she did, she rubbed at her eyes, patting away the blotchy tears that covered her face. She stood shakily and looked at the both of them, her body slumping with exhaustion.


"Why don't the two of you go to sleep for the night? Ellen can take Sam home tomorrow." She suggested, her voice soft as they both nodded. Gabriel knew that even if she had not suggested it, Sam was not going to let him go so easily as he waited until Gabriel's mother left before pulling him up off the bed and over to the dresser at the far wall of the room.


Sam fished out pajamas for the both of them, being that Sam was only just taller than him, and they changed in an awkward silence. Gabriel didn't want to admit the way his eyes lingered on Sam as he took his shirt off, or how he hid his face and his blush as he buried his face in the pajamas a moment before he calmed down, but it left his chest strangely warm, and he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to kiss Sam.


Pushing that thought from his head, he got dressed quickly.


He barely pulled his shirt all the way on before he felt warm arms encircle his waist and pull him him gently onto the bed, Sam's chest pressing against his back and leaving him to let out a slight gasp. Sam pulled him down until they were cuddling, letting his nose press against Gabriel's shoulder blade.


It made him feel good, and his mind let him rest, just for tonight.


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So, I'm sorry that it's been a while since I updated. I got my wisdom teeth cut out and up until today, I have felt like doing absolutely shit. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!



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