Silence is too loud (FINISHED)

T W E N T Y - F O U R

We sat there in his room playing that old Simpsons game on one of his hold game consuls. We had just sat there for an hour playing video games until I paused it and I was sort of surprised when I did it. I put my ass on the line for breaking the silence. Well... I was always in silence but that wasn't the point. I flopped my legs over the side of the massive bean bag chair and slouched looking him in the eye though I was doing a poor job at it.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on? Or am I supposed to guess?" That came out a little hostile. He sat up straight and looked lost for words. "I'm sorry," I added. He continued staring at me until he broke the awkwardness. His lips parted and his hands came up to the centre of his chest.
"Maddy and I have split up," he signed sheepishly, as if he was ashamed. "I heard." Stupid I thought as soon as the words materialized in my hands.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "How?"
My face got hot with my nervousness and I bit the inside of my lip. "Um Toby told me,  through Karina and I assume Maddy told her." He nodded casually. "Why did you split?" I asked trying to make myself look like I actually didn't know, like I had nothing to do with Maddy and wasn't partly responsible for Jamie's heartbreak.

He rubbed the back of his neck and then flattened his hair like he did when he thought. Jamie's head turned to me and shrugged his shoulders.
"She said she never had feelings for me but didn't want to break my heart," Jamie looked really upset and angry but I knew for now I was still safe.
"I just wish she would have just been honest with me instead of pitying the weird deaf boy," he moped.
"She doesn't pity you, trust me," I bet. He glared off in the distance. "She did, she pitied me and that's the only reason why she got involved with me. Maddy was falling all over another guy and I'm just the twit who believed everything," he barked. I felt so guilty all of a sudden. All the guilt that I didn't feel for betraying my best friend was coming back in one shot. It was intoxicating, it lead me to not being able to think straight and wanting to let the truth fall out of my fingers.

I sighed and looked at him feeling conflicted on what to do. "You're not a twit, you just made yourself see what you wanted to." I said trying to console him. I suppose he really didn't know who Maddy wanted instead. He shook his head, not wanting to believe what I thought.
"Do you know the guy she liked?" I asked dumbly, I avoided Eye contact but kept my eyes on his hands. I saw from the corner that he shook his head. His face began to become red, he was getting upset.
"I begged her to tell me, said I deserved to know who I lost her to but she said it wasn't important. That he wasn't interested in her and there was no point in getting mad at someone who didn't do anything to take her away from me on purpose."

Just hearing about what she said still made me want to be next to her instead of here. She must have talked to him about this a few days before the play. But even though I had her, her words were like knives in my back. I sat there looking down when he was done, I could feel my head getting heavy, my head rested on the bean bag chair. My eyes stared at his hands as I day dreamed about how mad he was going to be.
"Do you know?" I saw him say. My heart pounded violently in my chest. "What?" I asked just to buy some more time.
"Do you know the guy who she was in love with? You guys seem to be friends, maybe she mentioned something?" My eyes tightened and felt my face getting hot. What was I supposed to say to him?! If I told him I was the guy she fell for maybe he wouldn't be too mad but if he found out I fell for her... That would be another story.

I stayed silent looking like I was searching my mind for something to say as if I seriously didn't know, trying to buy myself some time. I shook my head a little.
"Well did she say anything? Do you know the guy?" I saw him say. I panicked.
"No," I lied. He looked disappointed, Jamie sank in his chair and his eyes fluttered around thinking about what he was supposed to say or ask next. I had to say something, or else we would be just sitting in painful silence... Was I supposed to console him about the girl who I'm in love with? Is that what I was supposed to do?