If I Called You Satan Would You Smile And Wave (Kellic)

6. Darkness Is Not My Friend

A panicked cry woke me up from my nightmare. I shivered violently and opened my eyes to the painful harsh light.

"Kellin!" Vic gasped, his face distorted in fear.

"What?" I muttered, trying to catch my breath. Flashes of my nightmare came back to me and I winced.

He looked at me, his face warped with fear and confusion, and asked "Are you alright?"

He looked at my fingers, which were driven into my arms. Blood seeped from the scratch marks and I groaned. I glanced at my watch, 5:45 am.

"What happened?" I asked, looking up at Vic.

"I was just headed back to the dorm and I heard you. You were like groaning and screaming out in your sleep." He told me slowly, "It sounded like you were in pain."

I nodded. 

Vic stood there, unsure what to do. He wearily helped me up and started to lead me back to the dorm room.

"No!" I gasped. "I'm not going back to bed."

He frowned. "Bad dreams?"

I pursed my lips. "It's nothing."

"It's not nothing! You were fucking scratching yourself and crying out in your sleep!" he exclaimed.

I shook my head; I didn't want to tell him anymore.

"I'm going." he said, his voice sounding a bit annoyed, and left me all by myself with the fragments of my night mare still wandering around in my mind.

-

I made my way around the building to a random bathroom. I splashed freezing cold water on my face to keep me up. I looked at myself. I looked like shit. I had dark circles around my distant turqoise eyes and my hair was all shriveled and messy. It looked like I'd been up all night sniffing drugs or something.

I made it to first period without falling asleep and all I could think about was trying to get in contact with my dad. 

"Yo Kellin." Patrick said as I sat down next to him. "You look tired as. You alright?"

I nodded and proceeded to ignore him. I just wasn't in the mood for talking. By fourth period, I was ready to fall into a slumber; I just couldn't keep my eyes open.

I had literature and I was sure that I was going to fall asleep. I got into my seat and noticed as Vic sauntered in. We locked eyes and all I remembered was when he found me this morning. He made his way to his usual spot at the very back of the class.

His fingers, long and bony, like the sticks of a dead tree, grabbed my hand as he dragged me across the floor.

"Let go!" I yelled, my voice shaking in terror.

He muttered out a cold scoff and let go of my bruising arm. He continued by dragging me by my hair and it felt like I was being dragged to hell.

He opened the basement door with his other hand and continued to drag me down where no one could see or hear me.

Lights were flashing before my eyes and he muttered insults at me, still not looking at me.

"Who are you?" I asked him, in a tiny exhausted voice. 

"I'm coming for you, Kellin." he whispered harshly as he looked straight into my eyes.

"Kellin! Are you okay?" I heard my teacher ask in alarm.

I looked up to find everyone staring at me. My face felt hot and flushed and I tried to stop myself from shaking.

I nodded slowly, not being able to speak back. I wondered what had happened. Had I started screaming randomly or maybe I began thrashing at my arms.

I still felt exhausted and overwhelmed. I glanced at my own hand to find my fingers digging down into my palm so tightly that it was about to draw blood.

"Maybe you should go down to see a nurse?" the teacher asked me. Or thats what I thought he asked me. I wasn't sure, all I could think about was the man's welcoming fingers and his cruel voice.

I picked up my books and glanced at Vic. He watched me, his eyes clouded in concern. I left the room, feeling nervous and embarrassed.

 Of course I didn't end up visiting the nurse - she'd probably call me crazy and call up the closest mental asylum. Or even better, she might have just given me an aspirin.

I made my way back to my dorm room. I got out my phone and jabbed in my dads number.

"Dad."

"Kellin." he muttered in surprise.

"I need pills now." I told him quickly.

There was a silence. "Are you having dreams again?" 

"Yes."

"I'll try to get you some. I'll come in tomorrow." He sounded so unsure and unwilling.

"I can't wait that long." I pleaded, my voice on the edge of glass.

"You're gonna have to. I'll be at your school first thing tomorrow."

"Dad. I can't-"

"-I'll see you tomorrow Kellin. You should be grateful that I'm even coming for you." he told me coldly before hanging up.

I had to keep myself awake for the rest of the day and the whole night. I wasn't too sure if I could do it. I took a long steamy shower and studied my scratches. They were deeply etched into my skin, perfectly scary and frightening.

I spent the rest of the day walking around campus, pinching myself occasionally to keep myself alert. I didn't want to talk to anyone at all. Maybe Vic, but he was a douche. What would he understand?

I got a text from Justin, "I heard about what happened! R U OK? WHERE R U NOW"

I didn't reply. 

-

"What are you doing here? You should get back to your dorm. It's late." the librarian told me. She looked at me nervously, with her wrinkly skin and circular glasses.

I nodded and put the book away.

I left the library, and looked at the time. 11pm. That's okay, I just had to stay up for another 8 hours. I made my way up to the rooftop place. It was freezing cold up here, that was good.

I felt sick, sweaty and it felt like somebody had placed tiny weights on my eyelids.

I felt so alone. I suddenly started to feel homesick. But then I remembered that I didn't really have a home. My dad didn't want me, and I just wasn't used to this place yet. I thought my dreams had gone away; dissapeared. But they hadn't. I started to shake in terror as the thought of pain floated through my head. I need those pills, I need them now.

I need those pills, I need them now or I'm going to fall asleep.

I need those pills, or I'm going to fall asleep.

I'm going to fall asleep.