I Dated Brian Quinn

Chapter Four

Jackie fiddled with the sterling silver pair of angel wings that hung on a chain around her neck. They reminded her that no matter what she chose to do with her life, she should never be afraid to spread her wings and fly.

"Dinner was nice. Thank you." She said to Brian after they were back in his Jeep. "And thank you for calling ahead about the gluten free issue."

"I know you can't eat it. I wanted to make sure you had a nice dinner. Bet your date the other night wouldn't have done that." He glanced over at her with a smile on his face.

"In all honesty, you're probably right." She agreed.

Jackie had been diagnosed with celiac disease when she was twenty five. She'd been so sick and couldn't figure out why. Brian, Murr, Joe and Sal had all taken turns sitting with her when she'd been admitted to the hospital after several tests that gave no answers. They'd also made sure anyone who came in contact with her food knew that she couldn't have the protein. It was their diligence that helped her settle into a life without gluten.

"Murr was telling me some interesting things today on set." Brian approached the topic casually while merging on to the road.

"Was it about his trash? Because I ended up taking it out for him and it was ripe!" Jackie shifted in her seat, turning her back to the passenger's door and facing Brian. She slid her left leg under her on the seat and sat her hands in her lap.

"Poor Murr. He needs a babysitter." Brian looked over at her and then focused his attention back on the road. "Actually, he said he asked you out before."

Jackie studied Brian's profile. A smile had crept across his lips as he waited for her to answer. She looked down at her hands.

"I felt bad about turning him down. Murr's just a little too much for me. He's a great guy, but he needs a woman who can meet his level of energy." Jackie hoped Murr hadn't told Brian about who her choice was if she had to choose between the guys.

"He said you thought that you and I were compatible." Brian looked at her again. "I didn't mean to embarrass you." He said after he saw her hang her head.

"I'm not embarrassed." She looked up at him. "It's true. I think you and I are the closest to what each other needs. It doesn't mean I wanted to date you."

"Would you?" He questioned. "Want to date me, I mean."

Jackie sat quietly, toying with the silver angel wings again. She'd known Brian longer than any other man in her life. She'd been through his dark days with him. She'd rode the waves of happiness with him. He'd done the same for her. Not having him in her life would devastate her.

"What would that mean for us? What if we find out that we are wrong for each other? Does that mean I have to live without you in my life? Because I don't want to not have you." She slid the angel wings back and forth on the chain as she spoke, watching his face for a sign of hesitation.

The expression on his face didn't change. She wondered if he was picturing his life without her. When he didn't answer, she straightened in the seat and leaned her head against the window.

She had known it was inevitable that being one of the only girls in a group of guys would lead to something like this. It had taken weeks for her and Murr to get past the awkwardness after he had asked her out. Now things were going to be awkward with Brian too.

When they pulled back in the driveway at his house, he reached out and put his hand on her arm before she opened the door.

"I don't ever want to think about not having you in my life, but I don't want to fucking miss this moment either. You know I don't have the best track record with women. I'm one hundred percent sure that's my fault. I'm also one hundred percent sure it's because they found out how fucked up I am and ran. You already know all of that. You'd be going in to it knowing exactly what's wrong with me."