Blood (Prequel to Vampires Will Never Hurt You)

Three

I had retreated to my room, leaving Mikey alone to his own devices. I was lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Just thinking. Thinking about the sorry existence that I was leading, totally straying away from Elena's purpose for me. To live and love my life- forever. How could I live and love my life if I was never happy in the first place. I had always known that I was different to Mikey- the golden child- especially in my real mother's eyes. She had always favoured him over me. She was more than happy to throw us into the army, probably never knowing that her golden child had died in battle. But I knew that she would wish me gone, a heavy burden erased from her life.

"Gee. Are you okay?" Mikey called from outside my door. I didn't say anything. He called my name again, hitting the door.

"What?" I hissed, tucking my hands behind my head.

"Stop thinking that way, I know what you're doing. I can hear things too you know. Maybe not as good as you, but I still can." He said, the tone of his voice angry because of the things that my mind was repeating over and over again. She never loved you, she never loved you. The option of death would never be an efficient one; except maybe not drinking blood. Even that was unavoidable, as I would give in to my temptations with no doubts to persuade me otherwise.

"Can't help it." I said simply, turning over to face the wall. Away from the door. Away from his voice.

"Mother did love you, Gerard. She didn't show it, but I know that she did. Things were a lot different then compared to how they are now. People understand, people care." He sighed, he was leaning against the door. I rolled my eyes, how could the favourite child know anything about being shunned by their parents.

"You don't know Mikey! Because she did everything for you. She'd go out of her way to do things for you. And for me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not even a kiss goodnight, I was a little boy Mikey, and I still knew that I was different." I screamed, my eyes burning from tears that were threatening to fall from my dark eyes. I sniffled, dabbing them. I didn't want to cry, not in front of Mikey. I had always felt like he was being judgemental when I did.

"And look now Gerard. Elena adores you more than any one of her children. You are the favourite, and you get better treatment than any of us. It's karma, good karma. She saw how 'crappy' you were treated and she turned it around, just for you. Just, for, you" He was angry, but so was I. He didn't like it when I brought up our biological parents, him being so fond of them.

"Whatever Mikey." I hissed, just wanting to be left alone.

"Fine. Have it your way, I'll leave you alone. But I expect you downstairs later, for dinner, like we always do." He tapped the door for the second time, jogging down the stairs. I heard the front door open, he had left. I was alone. To mope around in peace, without him trying to distract me. He just wanted me to be happy, and for that I was thankful. Although, I liked to dwell on my unhappiness, I felt that it would last forever; which meant an eternity of moping. Sitting up on my bed, I stared out of the window. I would go for a walk, maybe try and find that clearing again. I wanted to sit there and just contemplate my future. Knowing that nobody would love me, I felt like buying a house in the hills was a good option for me.
Being alone- was a good option for me. I went over to the window, pulling the old pane of glass up. I jumped, landing on my feet- instead of a heap on the ground. I brushed the dirt off my clothes, and began to walk.

The forest was quiet, there was just the rustle of leaves from the light breeze, from the small woodland animals. My stomach growled, my hand quickly patted it. I hated the feeling of hunger, especially knowing that to quench it I had to become a murderer. Which wasn't a good move, especially when I could hardly control my own strength.
~>•<~

Mikey was mad at me again for walking off. He hated not knowing where I was. He was standing outside our house, tapping his foot on the dirt floor waiting for me. I shook the leaves from my hair, walking past him.

"Where have you been? I've been trying to find you for an hour." He asked, he was trying not to get angry at me. I knew that it was difficult, but he was managing well.

"I was walking." I said simply, opening the door, Mikey hurrying after me.

"You went missing as far as I'm concerned," He huffed, closing the door behind himself, "Look, Gee, I'm sorry that I snapped at you. You're right, I don't know how our biological mother treated you, I don't. Because I never recalled listened. I'm sorry." He apologised, I had stopped walking.

"It's fine, Mikey, honestly." I sighed, making my way to the kitchen. I needed a drink, I was borderline manic. If I didn't drink then I'd be able to have a conversation with my own stomach.

"No Gee it's not fine, you're unhappy. And there's nothing that I can actually do. I hate that you feel that way."

"I guess I'm just lonely Mikey, I guess I'm just, lonely." I said slowly, wanting to drop the subject immediately. Mikey was feeling sorry for me, and I personally didn't know how to feel about it. I just hoped that he dropped the subject, I was past the point of wanting to talk about my feelings.
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Song Of The Chapter- Starman by David Bowie