Hearts are never Broken {Pricefield} #wattys2016

Drifting Apart

"Chloe..."

Her blue-haired head is on my shoulder. She's crying. Every teardrop feels like a million pounds. I didn't want this. I don't want her to suffer. Even though she destroyed my world with her lies. Shattered my heart to pieces.

I never wanted the same to happen to her. But I can't just pretend none of it ever happened, and go back to being her girlfriend. No, I can't trust her with my heart again. She made me fall in love with her just to hurt Rachel.

"Max, I love you... No matter how bad it seems... my heart belongs to you. I lied because I panicked. I had never even thought you liked me like that. Rachel was a mistake, I want to be with you and no one else," she sobs.

She wants to be my punk angel again. Right now, though, she feels more like the demon on my shoulder.

"Look, I... I want to believe you. But I can't. You lied to me, you lied to Rachel. And what's even worse than that you didn't even have the courage to end it with her before you started dating me!"

I push Chloe of off me.

She just stands there and stares at me with this defeated look, as if I'm the only thing keeping her together.

I can't stand those eyes so I look away.

"You're right. I hella screwed up. I should have told you the truth... But after our first kiss I couldn't tell you I was seeing Rachel... You have to believe me Max, I would never hurt you like that on purpose."

"If you'd said those words a few days ago, I would've believed you."

I distance myself from the broken mess that's standing in front of me.

"But I can't trust you. I don't know if I will ever be able to trust you again. Forgiveness is easy, but it's trust that holds people together. Without that, we're just broken pieces desperately trying to find our place."

Chloe sighs deeply, reaching out and placing her hand on my shoulder. She tightens her grip. I want to slap her hand away, but I don't.

"I'm your best friend," she says, "I always have been."

Why did she have to say that? I feel my heart sink in my chest.

"Since we were little pirates, we've always had eachother's backs. You know me, Max. You know I would never lie to you, unless I was scared that you wouldn't be able to handle the truth. And I don't want to do that ever again."

She tries to hug me. I resist.

"Chloe, I can't... Do this."

I can feel my chest tightening, my eyes welling up with tears. My breathing gets heavy and broken up. Chloe wraps her arms around me.

"It's okay... I'm sorry that I hurt you."

I can't talk. I just want to feel safe in her arms, even if I don't want to be around her anymore. If that even makes sense. Sometimes, things happen when they don't make sense.

"I have to go," I mutter through my tears, "I can't be around you..."

Once again I have to force myself away from Chloe, this time she gets the hint and buries her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket.

"Please, don't go..."
Chloe begs, staring into my eyes, and quickly looking away to hide her tears.

"I need some time." I say angrily, crossing my arms.

"I know but I beg you, please don't let this whole thing destroy us."

"Which us, Chloe? You and me, or you and Rachel?"

"Don't be ridiculous Max. Look, Rachel was a mistake how many times do I have to tell you that!"

She raises her voice in a way she had never done towards me before.

"No!" I shake my head and scoff. "Don't say it was a mistake. We knew how she was even before you befriended her, you knew she was a loose girl. You knew that she would hurt you, just as much I knew you would hurt me. God, I'm just as stupid as you."

She looks at me in shock.

"Max... I confessed," she says coldly. "She didn't."

I shake my head. The words Chloe and I are exchanging now are no longer silenced shots but close ranged shotgun rounds.

"You didn't confess until I punched your girlfriend in the fucking face. You know how bad I feel for that? I have never punched anyone in my life and when I finally did it wasn't even out of self defense, it was out of jealousy! And I did it for you. Why did you never tell me about you and Rachel in the first place? I thought we would share anything! No matter the out come we would tell each other the truth, always."

Total silence. What did I expect? Chloe opens her mouth, but not a single word makes it out.

"I'm done, just stay away from me," I say, leaving the room.

"Max!" Chloe pinches the bridge of her nose and tries to take my arm but changes her mind and retreats in the last moment.

I pass by Kate in the hallway, she doesn't stop, simply because she knows I don't feel like talking now. I enter my dorm and angrily throw the door shut behind me. Flopping down on the bed, I close my eyes. I have to be alone.

I'm lying there for a while before I finally decide.

Kate knocks gently on my door. She probably wants to talk about what happened. I'm so glad I have a friend like her. But I don't really feel like talking about it.

"Are you okay?" she asks softly through the closed door.

I twist the knob and let her in.

"Not really."

Kate takes me in her arms to comfort me. She always wants to help, and most of the time she really is helpful. I can tell how upset she is, for me and for Chloe. More sympathetic than anyone I know.

She sits on the bed beside me, running her hand through my hair.

"It's okay, Max," she says softly.

"I can't promise that you and Chloe will work things out but... That doesn't mean it's the end of the world. All of your friends in Arcadia Bay are still here for you. And the rest of the world is still yours for the taking. Things will get better, one way or another..."

I nod at her, and she stays by my side until I start to calm down and drift off to sleep.

Despite what I've said, despite the pain and suffering, I know that I love Chloe. No matter how much I try to push it away. She will always have a place in my heart, whether she breaks it or not. As a friend, as a lover, it doesn't matter. I can't change how I feel about her, and only time can heal my wounds.

Chloe Price is my soulmate. But she doesn't deserve me.