At What Cost

It's Over

Y/n sat on the bright white couch in the center of Tony's large living room. The TV was on but she could barely hear it. All sound was lost to her as she sat enveloped in her thoughts. The past few days had been hell.

To put it simply, after the bombing in Nigeria everything had gone to shit. When that contract was brought in to their home, everything changed. The Secretary of State had made it very clear that if some of them would choose not to sign it, they would be considered war criminals. Which to Y/n seemed like a bit much, but then again she did see the point that he was making.

She knew as soon as Steve sat down that he was going to have nothing to do with this agreement. She also knew that Tony was going to blindly agree, due to the emotional state he was in. He had been swayed to believe that this was the right choice, no matter what argument Steve or anyone else made. Both of their minds were made up. And nothing would change them.

That was what scared Y/n.

So there she sat. It had been weeks since this all began. So many had been lost, and friendships had been broken. Bonds were severed and with that came the fall of a once strong team that the world had grown to love. Y/n had wanted nothing more than to get out there and fight like everyone else, but she had been confined to the Stark home.

Unlike Wanda, whom she was imprisoned with; Y/n had no special powers. She was quite ordinary compared to the rest of the Avengers. That's why she wasn't one. Most of the time Y/n just sort of felt like their mascot. Sure she knew how to fight, but she was hardly ever given the chance to. Because she didn't have training like Nat, or powers like Thor or Wanda, she was usually kept back at the tower and put in charge of communications. She hated not being able to stand and fight with her friends, but she knew they were right. It wasn't safe for her out there.

The one thing she had always looked forward to at the end of a mission, was when Steve would get himself cleaned up and tell her how it went. She would sit next to him on the couch with a large blanket, and he would give her the play-by-play of how it went. He always tried to include her, because he truly felt she was a valuable part of the team, even if she didn't fight. She lived for those long talks with Steve. Under the blankets, nice and warm, hearing his voice and heartbeat; it was what kept her going.

They had a bond that the rest of the Avengers couldn't quite describe. They were almost always together. Y/n was one of the few people he truly trusted with his life. He had shared things with her he had never told anyone else. Y/n would never forget the night after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Steve had lost his home, and having nowhere else to go, decided to stay with Y/n until he could be moved. She had the spare room all set up for him, and he seemed okay. That is until later that night.

Y/n had gotten home from the store rather late, and when she called for Steve, there was no answer. She walked around the home until she found him crying on the floor in his room. His sobs rattled in his empty chest as Y/n fell beside him. She lifted his head to her lap and held his face in her hands. His eyes were red and puffy from crying nonstop, and his breaths were short and shaky.

She tried to get him to speak but he simply rolled over and buried his face in her lap. His arms wrapped around her waist as she held on tight to him. The tears fell freely from both of their eyes as they sat in the dark room pouring out the bottled up pain and grief.

"I don't want to be alive anymore...."