Love and War | book 1 #Wattys2016 #tbpa2016

>> chapter 20

   "Hey Grant!" I call.

   I followed the dark haired man out of the parlor, around the corner, and into the kitchen. Luckily moving past the party unnoticed. He ignored me as he headed to prepare himself a drink. I knew even though Lola was distracting her we didn't have much time since Mindy was always on top of us.

   I reach out and as soon as my hand touches Grant's shoulder he flinches away. I ignore it and step closer to him taking his forearm with a grumble and beginning to drag him towards the dining room. It was an elegant room that seemed untouched. fancy candlesticks sat on either side of the large mahogany table that could seat ten comfortably. The table was decorated with a cream tablecloth with gold trimmings.

I knew it was rarely used seeing as most of their children didn't live at home and the twins probably preferred eating in their bedroom. The best part was the vast dining room was far from the festivities and the only sound we could hear was the muffled music and our own breathing. It was nearly so quiet I was afraid the demon Doctor would be able to hear my thoughts.

"What Harper?" Grant groaned as he places his empty glass down. I hadn't given him the opportunity to make himself a drink.

I shake my head, my nerves getting the best of me for a moment. Are you sure you want to do this? He's engaged now. I think to myself as I mull over my thoughts. No, I couldn't let this go unfinished. If there was the slightest chance I could move on, with or without Grant, I needed to know.

"Do you love her?" I ask outright, my tone a bit harsher than I anticipated.

Grant sighs deeply and reaches to tangle his fingers in his dark hair. He looked so beautiful when he was juggling his thoughts. The way his body appeared to be weighed down by his decisions.

He cleared his throat and it snatched my attention from studying his exquisite features. "No..." He trailed.

I blinked a few times in surprise. I couldn't believe he was admitting this. Especially to me. "So why are you marrying her?"

"It's so complica–"

"Make me understand," I interject.

Grant snags his lower lip between his teeth as his eyebrows pull together. His eyes flicker from mine to the door and back. He's limited on time. We both were.

"Mindy....she's done a lot for me. Last year I...I...." Horror began to spread on his face as he spoke. I could tell he was no longer focusing on me. Whatever memory he was recollecting was enough to bring this grave look to his face. It had to be something...bad.

I reached out and took Grant's hand gently letting my thumb glide over his knuckles. His skin felt clammy, as if he were going to vomit. "You can tell me," I try to sound reassuring even though my heart was turning in my chest and my stomach was churning with anticipation.

The dark haired man simply nodded and continued, "There was a patient. A man who came in one night who suffered an overdose and was in critical condition. I had been working twelve hours...that's not an excuse. I should've been alert," Grant mumbled towards the end visibly becoming angry with himself.

Grant proceeded to tell me how he had made an error in his dosage of a medication used to reverse the side effects of an overdose. The man suffered a fatal seizure in his comatose state. It was very rare but possible. He died within an hour of arriving and Mindy was with Grant when he found the poor man. Mindy explained how she would say the nurse had made a mistake and how Grant had nothing to do with it but he knew it was his fault. The nurse lost her job and after that he felt like he owed Mindy. She had covered up something that could've landed Grant in prison.

"Oh Grant," I say as my hand moved to caress his cheek.

He leaned his face into my palm, letting his eyes slide closed. "No one claimed him. He was just another John Doe. But even though he was a nobody at the hospital it was my fault he was dead. He was somebody and I took that away," Grant croaked. I was afraid he was on the verge of tears, a first for me.

   I stepped closer to him pulling him into a gentle embrace. His arms wrapped around my waist and he buried his face into my shoulder. I stroked the back of his neck as we stood there.

   The world. The party. Mindy. Pete. They were all gone for a moment and it was just us. Grant felt obligated to Mindy. He felt like he owed her his entire career, his life. If it wasn't for her he wouldn't be here right now. I couldn't say if Grant felt anything for Mindy but I could understand his dilemma.

   "I can't say it wasn't your fault because I don't know. I definitely can't say what Mindy did was right either but you're a good man Grant" –I pause to lean away and search his dark eyes– "You would never hurt someone on purpose." The words stung more than I thought they would. My arms fell to my sides as I suddenly felt defeated.

   "I hurt you," he stated the obvious as his hand raised to my cheek.

   I shook my head, "I expected too much from you. I'm not saying what you did to me was right but now, after thinking about it for so long, I knew we both weren't ready."

   My hands gripped at the sleeves of his shirt and I held in my tears. "I don't want you to marry Mindy but I do understand why you're doing it. Now at least," I murmur.

   "Why did I have to leave you? None of this ever would've happened," Grant whispered, mostly to himself, as he pushed some of my hair from my face.

   He leaned in to me and pressed his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. I blinked a few times before I relaxed and let my eyes close. The kiss caused a few tears to flow down my cheeks and I gripped his arms even tighter.

   When Grant pulled away I reached to rub the backs of my hands in my eyes. I had been crying too much lately.

   "I'm going to figure something out," Grant says and I stare at him with wide eyes. The corner of his lips pull up into a smirk even though his eyes still seem sad. He runs his thumb over my cheek to wipe away some of my stray tears.

   "We're going to be together Harper."

A/N: YAAASSSSS!
Grant is currently bae!

What did you guys think?!
I know what happened is vague but I'm not too good with Doctor jargon so bear with me!

I am so proud of this chapter please comment and vote it's always appreciated!

xo