Home (H.S)

reality of things

"I'm the first to admit that I'm reckless
I get lost in your beauty and I can't see two feet in front of me
And I know in my heart, you're just a moving part."

Eleanor's P.O.V

I want to punch Harry so badly every time he looks over at me with a smirk. Each time I would ignore him and painfully chug down my orange juice.

I have to clear my throat again for the 20th time and that's when Harry burst out laughing.

See, the whole giving head went perfectly until I woke up the next day with a painful, sore throat. It wasn't as hard as I had pictured it to be, but I went a little overboard with trying to please Harry.

So now my throat burns - no matter what I do. Harry had called for a doctor against my wishes to have me checked out. It was mortifying to hear that my throat was swollen because apparently I had something in my mouth that was so big it had expanded my throat. Now I am having pains because it is going back to its normal size. In other words, Harry's dick was too big for me to suck. Literally.

"I will kill you if anyone finds out," I threaten him,  trying to remain unfazed.

"I'm not laughing at you, Eleanor. Because I already knew I was big, it's just the doctor's way of explaining it … it was priceless! He clearly knew what was going on and he tried being so discreet about it!" Harry laughs.

"It's still not funny," I mutter annoyed.

Harry smiles at me but I don't budge keeping my face expressionless. He rolls his eyes getting up from the table, calling me sensitive under his breath.

I finish eating and then join him in the kitchen. He is doing the dishes despite my protests.

It is officially our last day in Hawaii. The thought of going back to New York saddens me. I liked being here where no one is watching and there isn't pressure to do anything. I felt free and now I wasn't going to be free anymore.

I feel like a lot of things had changed between Harry and I since the wedding and today. How will things be between us now? It's not like we ever put a title on what we are. To the whole world we were husband and wife but what are we really? Was it friendship or was it just fucking? Could it be more?

I knew what I wanted from Harry. I wanted him to never stop kissing me or holding me closeas we fall asleep. I wanted him to keep sharing his stupid lame jokes with me. I wanted to have conversations with him; he was really smart and knew about a lot of subjects. I wanted him to guide me like he has been doing up into this point. I was comfortable with him.

I wanted more.

But I'm pretty sure he doesn't. Harry seems pretty down for everything but relationships. So it would be pretty stupid of me to even consider these feelings I am growing towards him. I take a deep breath and go sit outside on the porch.

The ocean is calm today, giving out soft waves. I would love to just sit and watch it. Another thing I'm going to miss from being here.

I had a few peaceful minutes before the weight of the bench suddenly sinks with someone else's weight. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath before speaking.

"If you mention your dick one more time." I sigh.

"The jokes are never going to end so get used to it," Harry replies cheekily. I look at him and squint my eyes.