Home (H.S)

bringing out the worst

"I will leave my heart at the door
I won't say a word
They've all been said before, you know
So why don't we just play pretend?
Like we're not scared of what is coming next
Or scared of having nothing left."

Harry's P.O.V

It's so weird living with someone you’re not fucking. I've always been a bachelor with a girlfriend on the side. I thought I had something serious once but that didn't work out in the end.

It will take some time to adjust having to share everything in a room with another person. Even a bed. It feels weird walking into a closet and seeing a girl's things in there. In the bathroom too. They need too much space for their stuff and I even had to give up a couple of cabinets for Eleanor to use.

I am lying down in my pyjama pants ready to sleep for the night after a long day. Eleanor is in the bathroom I guess washing up and I’m thinking about what happened today in my office.

I want to punch myself because I want to be able to kiss and touch Eleanor. But it's going to mean more for her than it does for me.

Or is it? Yeah it is. Maybe I'm just me being paranoid. It's better this way anyway. When this is all over we can part ways with nobody getting hurt. It is honestly for the best.

I am determined to keep Eleanor at bay until all of this is over. Maybe if she still "likes" me then, I'll give it a try. With that thought in mind the bathroom lights turn off and she steps out. I have to keep myself from reacting.

Eleanor is wearing a salmon colored nightgown that looks amazing on her. Her hair is tied up into a bun and she isn’t wearing any makeup. This is Eleanor - all natural and she is so beautiful.

She keeps her gaze away from me as she slips  into bed next to me. I continue to watch her and I can tell she is trying to ignore me but the flush on her cheeks gives her away. I cross my arms still watching her as she lays down pulling the covers over her.

I want to speak up and say something; explain to her why I don’t want her to have those feelings for me right now. But I keep my mouth shut despite wanting to say something so bad.

Eleanor reaches up to turn off her lamp before lying back down. I do the same and turn over to look at the back of her head. I almost reach out to wrap my arms around her but I remember what Eleanor had told me earlier. I am going to respect her wishes despite how I feel about it.

I close my eyes hoping that sleep comes to me fast. I have to go to work tomorrow, which I am already dreading. I'm hoping that I won't have to travel at all. Even though that's my favorite part about the job, with Eleanor here it wouldn't be fair. I'd have to help her to see what she can do to keep busy while I’m at work.

I am beginning to drift off to sleep when Eleanor suddenly turns over. She is asleep of course and she looks so relaxed and peaceful.

"I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful, yet so unaware of it." I hear myself mumble softly. I make a bold move by reaching out to caress her face. I trace her temple all the way down to her jawline and then over her lips.

I almost jump a foot in the air when her eyes open suddenly and she looks straight at me.

"What are you doing?" She mumbles, tiredly yawning.