A Year of Stories (Collection Two)

Uncle Xavier's Ultra High Potency Miracle Cure All

Parallex Inc. nor any of its subsidary organizations including: MiracuCore, Lazarus Holdings, Lombard Magical Mystery Concern and each of their associated business units, cannot and will not be held responsible for any damages or injuries incurred after using UNCLE XAVIER'S ULTRA HIGH POTENCY MIRACLE CURE ALL.

While this product has been shown in peer reviewed, double blind studies to slow or stop the progress of just about any disease short of death itself, in some cases, users have experienced adverse symptoms including: soreness, dizziness, rashes along the ankles and knees, increased agitation, increased perspiration, pus sweats, loosening of bowels, tightening of bowels, substantial darkening of the cornea, moderate dampening of moral inhibition, and hysterical gambling.

Additionally, in very rare cases, long term users have developed more serious problems: night blindness, blisters, hallucinations of dead or soon to be dead relatives, toxic miasma, hair fury, spontaneous lycantrophy, moderate to severe cannibalism, excess limb growth, and brief consciousness reversal.

If you or a loved one experiences any of these symptoms while taking UNCLE XAVIER'S ULTRA HIGH POTENCY MIRACLE CURE ALL, discontinue use immediately, and contact a doctor, exorcist or local shaman – whoever is more readily available.

Good luck.